The Wake

So it’s the end of my senior year, miraculously. A mere four years at the ‘U’ and I am prepared to head off into the “real world,” diploma in hand, resume ready. Unfortunately, as those of you who’ve attended job fairs know well, everyone wants to hire us for a sales position. Now sales doesn’t seem bad when you first say it. I made sales while working in retail, and I liked the interaction with a variety of people, the varying inventory and being knowledgeable about various products. But sales positions mean something else entirely. . .Sales will mean working …

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This is the crystal ball special, the rest of the year in news brought to you before the news hits, or even happens. Keep it handy and score along as the year progresses.Sept. 2004: Jesus returns as the rapture takes place over Madison Square Garden at the National Republican Party convention during the week of 9/11. Bush is delighted as Jesus tells America - on a FOX news exclusive - that they are indeed God’s chosen people, and they have the right to kill as many people as necessary for carrying the eternal quest toward the great American …

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However long you gentlemen out there have had the image of girls’ night as women in their underwear getting into pillow fights or tickle wars with each other, hopefully now you have come to grips with this fabrication and realize it is only a fantasy. Mostly, we sit around and drink wine or cocktails, talk about school, work, lovers, fading friendships and new encounters. As men use the “activity” to bond; over sports, barhopping, car shows, etc.; women can get by with a good conversation any day. Until the drama begins to die down and little changes day-to-day. I have …

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Let me get a few things off my chest. I’m not a woman. I love babies. And I’m glad as a Gregorian monk to be setting the conservatives - those right-winged, “religiously-righteous,” Rolls-Royce revving revenue-riders - straight in their horribly misguided quest to assert moral dominance over the whole of America. Their latest perversion? Making abortion completely illegal. Get this part straight; don’t let them bullshit you with “only partial-birth bans” propaganda. No. To quote Quint, my favorite Spielbergian New England shark-hunter: they’re going for the head, the tail - the whole damn thing. Which is interesting, considering that in this …

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There is only one issue worth talking about when debating abortion, and that is whether or not when an abortion is killing a human being. That’s it. There are only two answers, either yes or no. If yes, then abortions should be made illegal. If no, then abort away. Sure, there are plenty of other strong arguments against abortion. Abortion clinics are strategically located near poor Black areas and have been used to control the Black population. In fact, there are about 30 million Blacks in America right now; there have been 40 million …

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Over the past few months, some excellent B-movie schlock has come to my attention. I feel the need to point out to the readers the very best. So I will give you the rundown on some of the best films from well below the mainstream radar. Hardcore Poisoned Eyes is a masterful work of suspense and terror. This Sal Ciavarello-directed film deals with the story of three young women who go to the country to get blitzed. However, they stumble upon a great menace, finding themselves the unwitting targets of a violent satanic cult. The story builds up to a …

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Tip for theater goers: avoid seeing a traveling musical during the middle of the week, especially at the end of the show’s run. What you’ll get are a few effortless actors disrespecting their characters, themselves and the audience.With that said, I wish I wasn’t referring to Jonathan Larson’s theatrical masterpiece “Rent,” which is an ultra-important story of friendship, suffering, life and death that will never lose its symbolic importance for American society – except when it is not taken seriously by those actors involved in its performance.In its sixth presentation at the Ordway Center in St. Paul, the show, which …

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Josh Hartnett must be one of the luckiest bastards in Minnesota.Not only did he score tickets to The Strokes’ sold out show at First Avenue on April 25, he managed to weasel his way in the VIP Lounge by virtue of his star power alone (I saw him do it with my own eyes).The rest of the 1400 audience members weren’t so fortunate. They had to suffer heady pulse-pounding sets from both The Raveonettes and The Strokes from the floor. Oh cruel fate. I didn’t hear much complaining from them, however.The opening act, The Raveonettes, touring all the way from …

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“Is the concert that boring?” some trashed twenty-something girl asks me. She keeps stealing drags off my cigarette – and it’s starting to piss me off. “No,” I tell her. “But I am getting paid to be here. I’m not a huge fan.”“Oh,” she says, ashing the Camel-filtered over the crowd below.She’s one of many who are hanging-cool upstairs in The Quest’s upscale balcony. From the looks of it, she’s having quite the time. But for the rest of the audience, the real action is taking place two flights of stairs below in the main-room.“Are we having a good fucking …

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Electric Fetus
Stats:
* Lots of amenities: incense, candles, tobacco pipes, posters, clothing, jewelry
* Band DVDs
* Vinyl (sparse)
* Used CDs
* Local music
* HUGE selection
* Import CDs
* Decent prices
* Cassettes
* Concert ticketsThe Electric Fetus could be equated to your grandma’s attic; that is, if your grandma was a total music nut. The colossal amount of music and stuff packed into the general store-like space makes the Electric Fetus feel homey. Good background music, fun publicity displays, bright lighting and polished hardwood floors lend to a pleasant shopping experience. Fetus …

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On May 21, audiences around the country will bid adieu to a television show that has long overstayed its welcome. “Friends” originated in a TV era that was obsessed with the fast New York single life. “Shows like Caroline in the City,” “The Single Guy,” and “Seinfeld” all showed single New Yorkers not doing much more than drinking coffee and dating incessantly.This was the way to live it seemed, to be in your late twenties/early thirties, not horribly successful yet somehow rich enough to afford well decorated city lofts and designer outfits. “Friends” opened to rave reviews; how could such …

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When you think of “The Godfather,” do you feel the sadness of a family falling apart, or rather the exhilaration of its seedy characters, bleak violence and street justice? When you think of “American Beauty,” do you remember a father reaffirming his family values, or a renegade, with nothing to lose, giving a finger to society? Movies such as these often claim to have a moral center as they end their subversive stories in dignified fashion. But if you look closely, “The Godfather” celebrates crime and the mafia, while “American Beauty” celebrates rebellion and apathy. Their endings are merely epilogues …

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With summer come tank tops, shorts and sandals. The streets we’ve avoided all winter in exchange for force-heated buildings are now in high demand. Not far from campus, at St. Anthony Main, a little restaurant by the name of Pracna on Main is tucked away.Pracna’s scenery is one of its biggest selling points. Its front faces the Mississippi, showing off downtown’s skyline in the distant. A walking trail passes by, giving the area a park feel. The cobble stoned Main Street, the oldest street in Minneapolis, takes its visitors back to another time.This is all great, but even better when …

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Spring time calls for new things to appear, and this is certainly the case for the Master of Fine Arts Thesis Exhibition, “Refresh,” now at the Katherine E. Nash Gallery in the Regis Center for Art. “Refresh” features the art work of Master’s students David Bowen, Kristina Estell, Allen Peterson, Gregory Rose, Emmet Sandberg, Scott Stulen, Trever Nicholas and Liz Zlot. The show is innovative and imaginative showcasing the work of budding artists. The exhibit includes a variety of mediums and styles, creating a postmodern experience. The craftsmanship is excellent, as are the conceptual themes represented by each artist. Upon …

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Without a doubt, the University of Minnesota hosts a multitude of courses ranging from architecture to zoology. While some classes may have students drawing schematics or dissecting cadavers for the sake of education, a newly initiated wine tasting class has students drinking their lessons. But don’t be fooled – while the idea of tasting wines for a class may draw student’s interest, the activity merely reinforces class topics. Vines and Wines: Introduction to Viticulture and Enology is an entry-level horticulture science class which allows students a chance to hone their wine tasting skills by evaluating regional and national wines. In …

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