The Wake

In a somewhat expected move, the University of Minnesota has announced that libraries across campus will be shut down and their contents sold to help fund the proposed $248 million football stadium pending congress’ approval.Rep. Ron Abrams (R-43B) introduced the bill informally known as “Books for Balls.” Rep. Adams is also the chief sponsor of the football stadium bill. Political analysts expect the bill to easily pass through the House and Senate in the coming weeks. If passed, Gov. Pawlenty, who has openly expressed his support for the bill, is expected to sign off and give university officials the go-ahead …

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Dear Bob Bruininks and Joel Maturi,This is the University of Minnesota, okay? We invented basketball. I believe it was in the autumn of 1876. And in a barn, no less! Basketball is hard enough, but those pioneers had goats, chickens and cows setting up shop at the top of the key. Dung everywhere you stepped. Have you ever bounced a basketball in dung? It doesn’t work, doesn’t work at all. And yet, basketball was invented here, at the U.The three-point line? Our idea. Michael Jordan? Our idea. Duke? Our idea. Point shaving? Our idea. Do these names mean anything to …

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You know what I love?
The book The Little Prince.
Multi-vitamins.
Big, rainy storms.
Cupcakes.
Yahtzee.Oh, and I sure love sucking cock. Well, I prefer to receive, but it was a good way to start, eh?Finals are the joyous time of year when you have to finally begin to read your books and store information, however, rarely are we allowed to learn about things that are really important, like the history of oral sex. So, for all your carpet munching and dong dining needs, let me teach you something you’ll really enjoy.Oral sex has been considered deviant …

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Recording an album using Italian and Latin phrases paired with references to Eastern European mythology and geography is quite an ambitious project for an American band. Pretty Girls Make Graves has done just that with Élan Vital, while still maintaining the sound that put them on the map. Incorporating trumpets, saxophone, drum programming, piano and even whistles on Élan Vital, Pretty Girls Make Graves prove their multiple talents aren’t limited to their respective instruments. In fact, if the quintet’s instrumental repertoire were to be classified on a Terror-Alert chart, this album might very well put them at a threatening yellow. …

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Even Calexico’s most loyal fans are likely to be thrown off-guard by the eclectic duo’s latest album Garden Ruin (Quarter Stick). Previously trademarked by an oddly striking blend of folk, mariachi and jazz, Calexico have chipped away at their distinctiveness and emerged with a new sound best described as, well, ‘rock.’ Maybe even ‘watered-down alt-country’ at times. At first, I desperately wanted to retreat back to the sensual outlaw flamenco that was 2003’s Feast Of Wire. But though their change was initially unsettling, it was still intriguing enough to inspire the second, third and even sixth listen that proved …

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Drive-By Truckers - A Blessing and a Curse

The Drive-by Truckers win two awards in my book: first, they’ve got the funniest name I’ve ever heard, and second, they’re the only contemporary “southern rock” band that doesn’t make me cringe.The key to the Truckers’ success is sincerity—I believe every word that singer Patterson Hood says. The same goes for Mike Cooley and Jason Isbell. That’s right, there are three songwriters in this group. And while a southern …

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Rows of blinking lights illuminate a rectangular sign advertising the Triple Rock Social Club’s entrance. Underneath, a large, goateed bouncer guards the West Bank bar’s door, while inside a 21-plus crowd downs Amstel Lights and mixed drinks before lumbering outside to join the (mostly) underage crowd leaning against the entrance to the Triple Rock’s concert venue next door. Tyler Likkel, a 22-year-old Augsburg student and rapper heads the line. Earmuff-like headphones blast the Beastie Boys from a plastic-wrapped iPod in his shorts pocket as he paces back and forth, impatient to get inside.By the time the club’s door opens at …

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The house in front of us was about the size of a two-car garage. “This is Nick’s brother’s house right?” I question Aaron not wanting to walk into some random house. “Of course,” Aaron said, following Nick up the incredibly small flight of stairs. Nick turned the knob, and we all walked in awkwardly. We got a few glances since we were the odd men out. The room was filled with the smell of alcohol and fun. It was packed to the brim with people; we knew none of them. All of these students graduated at least a year before …

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In the midst of the brutal Minnesota winter, most freezing pedestrians would hardly consider the grey and barren University of Minnesota campus to be particularly beautiful. But as the weather has grown warmer and the days sunnier and longer, campus has slowly shed its wintery grit and grime to reveal green grass and blooming flowers. While the university’s grounds and buildings (many of them, anyway) could be considered quite pretty on bright spring day, it takes a considerable amount of work to keep them that way.On April 20, the university celebrated its annual Beautiful U Day, even though the weather …

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Hybrid cars, compact fluorescent light bulbs, Green Routes, organic fruits and veggies, recycling, fair trade, pesticide-free household and hygiene products, local agriculture, biking, hemp clothing, free-range chicken and eggs, windpower, soy milk, public transportation and more. These are just a few components of adopting a sustainable lifestyle—if you can make sense of the environmentally-friendly barrage. Sound like a lot to deal with? That’s where the Living Green Expo comes in.The fifth annual Living Green Expo, which will be held Saturday and Sunday, May 6 and 7, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. both days at the Grandstand building at the …

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Outside, puddles slowly evaporate from the desolate wreckage that is the Lake Street reconstruction project. But inside the Heart of the Beast Theater on East Lake and 15th Avenue, community members of all ages and cultures are hard at work, preparing the pieces that will make up the 32nd Annual May Day Parade and Festival.The Heart of the Beast May Day Festival began in 1974 with a small group of artists, but has grown to include 17 full-time artists and hundreds of community volunteers, and has attracted over 50,000 spectators to Powderhorn Park in the past. The planning process for …

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Sorriest Super Bowl Ever Award: Super Bowl XLThe spectacle of bad officiating, horrible football and a disturbing halftime show featuring 94 year-old Mick Jagger shake like a crack addict does not make for good entertainment. The Super Bowl is supposed to be the climax of the NFL season. Instead we watched Detroit-darling Jerome Bettis fail to run in a one-yard touchdown, Jerramy Stevens drop three balls and Troy Polamalu screw up multiple coverages. Even Super Bowl MVP Hines Ward dropped two passes, including one in the end zone. Despite the bad football, the officiating may have been worse. A phantom …

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