The Wake

You know that part in the beginning of The Matrix where that spermy-looking thing gets sucked out Neo’s body? Well, in about 20 years, that little guy could be inside all of us, according to a US inventor

I came across this scary story from the jolly old BBC that says “machines will achieve human-level artificial intelligence by 2029.” Leading US inventor Ray Kurzweil, the inventor of text-to-speech technology and the first keyboard synthesizer, told the BBC at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science in Boston, that humans will eventually have tiny …

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Though it would be nice to drink a beer at the movies, we all know that movie theaters are for popcorn and candy. Monstrous popcorn, with imitation butter, truly beautiful stuff. Any who, for those of you who didn’t know, I see myself as a sort of a film buff. This past week my little lady and I were watching the stupendous Badlands.

Photo by Colin Tuska

I had always heard good things about Terrence Malick’s 1973 masterpiece, but who knew it was so weird. …

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So I was looking around this here interweb and I decided to search for beer videos on YouTube. I thought that I was going to find some beer commercials, which I did, but this is far better. So we all like Legos, in fact some people love Legos. Others out there love beer. So this for all of you out there.

Lego Beer Song

In other news I drank a margarita tonight, which in The Blaggers world might be sacrilegious. It was seriously huge and seriously $7. Not bad …

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After two hardcore serious political blogs, I needed to decompress from pandering and caucuses. So here is a happy piece from La La land.

As I wind down from a long hard day of calling random people and making them take surveys they really don’t want any part of, I decide to watch re-runs of Family Guy on Adult Swim. Then I saw this Associated Press story about an end to the writer’s strike!!!! Oh my Flava Flav it’s finally over!

In the story, one of my favorite characters on my favorite show, Dwight from “The Office,” says that the cast …

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The Wake’s Multimedia Staff covered this years Democratic and Republican caucuses.

A Vote

This past September I moved to my fourth house in three years. I’ve never really had a sense of community. I’ve lived in Dinkytown, South East Como and for a semester, the East End of London. That short stay in London was the closest I’ve ever felt to belonging somewhere, but even then I was an outsider. Five months ago I moved into a home in Ventura Village. Cramped between Hiawatha, I-94 and 35W, it is a community that lost its identity when it was cut off after the construction of I-94. This Franklin Avenue community was once adjoined by …

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Twin sisters Tegan and Sara stopped at the Pantages Theater on Nov. 30, amidst an extensive tour of the United States. During a stop in Carrboro, North Carolina, Sara took time out from her busy schedule to discuss everything from Death Cab for Cutie’s Chris Walla to National Public Radio. The duo has been touring in support of their great new album, The Con. If you happen to hit up Australia this December, you can catch the girls down under. Otherwise this is as close as you’re going to get.

The Wake: So you guys are currently in Carrboro, North Carolina. …

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A nice Weisse

As my cat licks his tongue across a damp window, I’m reminded of the precious things in life and a simpler time. When was this time you ask?

My answer is sweet and simple: Miller Time™. Yes I am indeed a Milwaukee native, born in the Brew City and bred just outside the city borders. Yes, my hometown, Cudahy, enjoys drinking. And who wouldn’t when you are small industrial town on Lake Michigan. In fact at one point in time, it is said that Cudahy …

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I realized something in my poly. sci. class today. I realized how close we were to a nuclear holocaust twice. In Nov. 1983, the Soviets were so trigger happy that after NATO performed a training exercise that simulated a nuclear attack called “Able Archer“, the reds believed the US was preparing to attack the USSR for reals, and the tension mirrored that of the Cuban Missile Crisis.

We also learned about “Mutual Assured Destruction,” where if either the US or the Soviets attacked one another, each had enough of a stockpile of nukes to retaliate and blow …

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****DISCLAIMER*****: I am not calling Mitt Romney a homosexual. Nor do I have anything against homosexuals or fellatio in general. Romney just did terrible on Super Pooper Tuesday and I like shitty puns. Please do not send hate mail, or do.

It’s 1:00 a.m. and I feel like celebrating Romney dropping out of the race!!!!! WOOOOO!!!!!! Why am I awake writing this early?

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, whose real name is Willard by the way, “suspended” his bid for the White House Thursday after a terrible showing on Super Duper Tuesday’s caucuses and primaries. In a …

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Welcome all to my blog, the Eye (Wake Symbol)-Witness. My name is Scott and I am the blog whisperer (HA! Alice, I knew I could fit this name somewhere on here). I will gently whisper sweet nothings about news from across the campus and the globe, so you will feel more informed and hopefully you’ll stop pissing and shitting on your master’s couch.

To quote the great Foreigner, “It feels like the first time.” But truly this is my second. Here’s a shameless plug for my old JOUR 3101 news blog. Go check it out B! …

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The Vikings are pursuing a new stadium at the same old place. But there’s a catch. Much like the Twins and Wild owners, Vikings owner Zygi Wilf is asking for public subsidy. Should we pay for a partially private facility?

A few hundred yards off the eastern shore and onto the frozen Medicine Lake lies a village of sorts. In a way, this village resembles the ice fishing communities that often dot the lakes during the winter. Instead of grime-covered trucks, quasi-public urination, and Coors Light cans, there are art car taxis, receptacles for empty beers, and one giant robot ride. Why hell, it is the fifth annual Art Shanty Projects!…

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Illustration by Sarah Morean

Walking into the dental hygiene aisle at Target has become an overwhelming experience. In the U.S., the dental products market is a $7.5 billion a year business and row after row of toothbrushes, all claiming to remove more plaque than the rest, make this extremely clear. Toothbrushes have become so technologified that they not only vibrate and dispense toothpaste, but also play songs, and remind users to change the brush head. However, there is one toothbrush new to the market that …

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“It’s the cruelest trick to play,” reaching across the table to pour another glass of the room-temperature water, “swapping like that.”

“I know.”

“And you are fine with this?”

He looks around the room again, seeing the sun-stained portrait he found in a local market years ago. The edges frayed from years of misuse. It reminds him of sitting in the military doctors’ office back home when he was a child. When his mother used to take him to the clinic for a check up, he would find himself among the local children huddled by the few sparse toys donated by the military …

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