The Wake

Illustration by Dustin Nelson

In anticipation of the 2008 election, many serious yet oft-ignored issues have reemerged and exposed themselves to the voting public. There are the perpetually unresolved cases of abortion, religion, states’ rights, education… frankly, the list could go on indefinitely. However, one seemingly played-out but absolutely crucial issue that I think many people are still far too divided over is that of global warming and, by extension, environmental preservation. Unfortunately, people tend to avert their eyes when the “e” word comes up …

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Illustration by Ben Alpert

I had a classmate many years ago. We would talk politics on occasion. It rarely worked out.

See, every single time that I tried to raise an objection to or voice an opinion about something, she would yell “think of the children!” It didn’t matter if it was AIDS, war, health care, welfare, etc. It didn’t matter if I wanted to stop war because it killed children or create universal health care so we could care for children, I was always wrong …

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Don’t buy Super Smash Bros. Brawl if you have a column due.

There are myriad reasons why, but I’ll focus on one: It is terminally good. I chose that word with care; Brawl is a terminal game. It will end careers, marriages, friendships, and college educations. In fact, fuck it, I’m expanding my suggestion.

Don’t buy Brawl if you want to:

have friends who don’t play Brawl
pass any classes this semester
have sex at any point in the near future
keep up a basic level of hygiene
eat enough to be healthy
keep muscles other than your thumbs from atrophying
read a book
earn the money to pay your …

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Illustration by Jeremy Sengly

So what is the true function of the press? Some argue the concept that political and social discourse can be encouraged through the simple presentation of unbiased facts. Others believe that objectivity is a farce, and the only true way to have a democratic press is through open forum debate, with the press as a facilitator.

In America, the notion of objectivity in the press is relatively recent. For the first two centuries of our nation’s history, newspapers, journals and magazines were …

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On the surface, Ole Hovde looks like any other university student killing time at a café. Although he’s indoors, he keeps a beanie on his head, perhaps as a way to cope with the constant scrambling that accompanies everyday college life. Resting beside him is a sociology textbook thats been temporarily swapped for the latest issue of The Onion. His concentration is frequently interrupted by text messages on his Blackberry from his friends, family and professors. Yet one thing separates the political science junior from the rest of his college-age peers: …

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Photo by Ben Lansky

Nalgene water bottles are a fun, fashionable way to carry water and other potables, keeping students happy and hydrated. In the past few years, Nalgenes have become so popular that it is impossible to walk fifty feet across campus without seeing a plethora of shatter resistant plastic water bottles. Now, after this widespread distribution we are realizing that everyone and their brother drinking out of these things may not be such a great idea.

One of the key building blocks of …

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Coloring by Dane Thomforde

With the black tendrils of stress still lingering after weeks of dodging failing grades on papers and midterms, students look to the freedom of Spring Break to release some tension. Destinations are meticulously planned out months in advance as exhausted and overworked studiers search for the perfect place to blow off some steam. While you may have spent the last week tanning in Florida or scuba diving in Mexico, I was hanging out with the cool kids on Sesame Street.

While …

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The First Amendment Gallery is the kind of place you hear about from a friend who heard it from their art teacher who had read an article online mentioning a hip new art gallery. Unless you’re an avid warehouse enthusiast, of course.

The gallery can be found in the basement of an inconspicuous Minneapolis warehouse. It consists of one main room with clean white walls and unassuming shelves that act as the merchandise showcases. First opened in September of 2006, First Amendment is the love child of artists Lonny Unitus and Amy Jo Hendrickson, whose printmaking had outgrown …

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Big Bird on Sesame Street Night

Our celebrity-obsessed media has turned America into a high school full of stereotypes. There are cliques, opinion leaders, and, most of all, jealous but vicarious critics looking to bash but idolize the popular kids.

I frequent the pop culture blogs. I don’t do it because I care about the celebrities. I do it because I care about why so many people care about the celebrities. And to be honest, it seems to me like we’re carrying the same grudges and judgments held when we were 16.

Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian and Nichole Richie are the rich, popular kids with all …

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In the past few days, news anchors, columnists and cable pundits have been rigorously masturbating over denouncing Obama’s pastor, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, the apparent anti-American jihadist. Decades after Marcus Garvey, Malcolm X and Huey P. Newton, white pundits are still acting as surprised as ever when they see a black man speak out radically against this country.

It’s 3.30 a.m. and I’m exiting through the back gate of Camden’s Roundhouse with several of my co-workers. We all bid each other farewell, and take off in our different directions towards home. Each one of is walking with a noticeable affliction given we’ve just left the all you can drink after party following the Supergrass party that night.

I’m walked with extra care and caution toward my bus stop across from Chalk Farm station to catch an N28 back to Kilburn. To protect me from the soft drizzle, four carry out boxes rest stacked atop my head. They’re filled with …

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Att. Gen. Lori Swanson

Minnesota Attorney General Lori Swanson is eliminating whatever remains from the Farmer-Labor Party in the DFL in a classic case of Democratic hypocrisy. Namely, 50 of her 135 or so assistant attorneys general left her office in the past year due to its constant atmosphere of stress and fear.

MinnPost.com reported this:

“Assistant Attorney General Amy Lawler said she has been put in situations that made her uncomfortable where she had to weigh her own ethical standards against …

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Here is a recent story the piqued my interest on NPR’s All Things Considered. It seems pretty crazy that some 87 years after the end of prohibition that there are such harsh laws still on the books. Then again everything is illegal in America. This is after all the land of political correctness. Anywho, listen to this great story at the link below and buy poor Dan a beer, he might even enjoy it.

Click on the link below to listen to the story.

Alabama Beer Drinkers Fight for Stronger Brews

It is dangerous to leave written that which is badly written. A chance word, upon paper, may destroy the world. Watch carefully and erase, while the power is still yours, I say to myself, for all that is put down, once it escapes, may rot its way into a thousand minds, the corn become a black smut, and all libraries, of necessity, be burned to the ground as a consequence.
- William Carlos Williams, Paterson: Book III

And
do not contend …

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