Never, no matter what the circumstances, put a balloon on your cock.

Now, I understand the variety of situations in which that would seem like an appealing course of action. “But Deniz, I ran out of condoms and they look approximately the same!” “But Deniz, I just got a pack of vibrantly colored glow-in-the-dark ones!” Save it. No matter how desperate your situation or how appealing the balloons, this is not a good idea.

Sure, it’ll let you have sex with your girlfriend (and perhaps even make your penis look bright and colorful and welcoming), but when you pull out you’ll notice …

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As you may have read already the one and only Crispin Glover came to the Oak Street Cinema a few weeks back. Here is his famed interview from 1987 on the David Letterman show.

Crispin Glover on Letterman

A genius. To here about his latest happenings head over here.

Illustration by Dixon Bordiano

My iPod broke the other week. I didn’t drop it. I didn’t leave it out in the cold. After a year and a half, it just stopped turning on. The little apple stopped popping up to greet me. Sixty gigabytes of music ceased to exist. Since most of that music is on my computer, CDs, or records, I survived, but I realized how dependent I was on my iPod. It pisses me off that a stupid mp3 player had assumed such …

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Photo By Marian Haniarec

The year is 1999, and American news is preoccupied with the Columbine High School shooting, Y2K, and the aftermath of the Lewinsky scandal. Over the Atlantic and through the woods to Capalnita, Romania, a similar scene is taking place. Despite thousands of miles of separation, the Romanian media is focused on American headlines. This obsession with the west is the main theme of Cristian Nemescu’s film California Dreamin’ (Endless), part of the Expanding the Frame film series now showing …

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Nick Lowe – Pure Pop for Now People

Do you love Elvis Costello like we do? Hidden in the shadow of Costello’s success is a musician that tastes, smells and even sounds like him. Nick Lowe is that musician, and his album Pure Pop For Now People is a benchmark in modern pop.

After honing his talents in a slew of different English pub bands, Lowe released Pure Pop For Now People in 1978 as his first solo …

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Vampire Weekend – Vampire Weekend

In my pursuit of the new Xiu Xiu album, I stumbled upon another gem released in the same week.
Vampire Weekend’s official full-length debut has taken the spotlight in a big way over the past two weeks. Their eponymous album represents a textbook example of Internet hype controlling a band’s fortunes.

Vampire Weekend mixes a poppy, new-wave sound with West African influences, and features heavy
keyboards and rhythmic instrumentation. Pitchfork Media, the (outgoing?) Official Soviet Opinion of the
“indie” community, has …

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Thao with the Get Down, Stay Down
We Brave Bee Stings and All

While separation of vocalist and band usually indicates a level of pomposity, Thao with the Get Down, Stay Down is one of the few legitimate exceptions. Thao’s name is detached from the slick and surgical backing band Get Down, Stay Down because she is the commanding sound of the group. Her …

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Minnesota held statewide caucuses on Tuesday, February 5, and it was a sight to see. Ford Hall was the place to be for young Republicans on campus. Caucus organizers expected a measly 10-20 people, while roughly 300 decided to make their voices heard. With no organization whatsoever, lines stretched across the first floor of Ford Hall, and classrooms were standing room only.

Photo By David Brothers

It was the third night of Crispin Glover’s presentation of his film What Is It? at the Oak Street Cinema, and there was a large turnout to see the eccentric actor-director in person. Vitamn Magazine and the Minnesota Film and TV Board sponsored the event. As the lights dimmed, there was a rustle of the curtain, and Crispin Hellion Glover walked onstage to a burst of applause.

The evening began with Crispin Glover’s Big Slide Show, featuring narrative readings from selected slides …

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Photo by Brian Aldrich

The fireworks crash, scattering between the city skyline and the river. It is the Fourth of July, 2007. There’s much excitement—the poetry spills in from the Mississippi river as it negotiates its way beyond the Army Corps of Engineers’ marvel of locks and cement waterfalls. This is the moment when Yes Press births from the ether, sparking three sentences that grace the first pressing, one from each friend: “The firework scares / the herons from / their young. …

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Gov. Pawlenty has warned the University of Minnesosta that the Central Corridor has to come down in price. The tunnel that would go under Washington Avenue would cost $250 Million. So, should the proposed Central Corridor go straight down Washington Avenue, go under Washington, or skirt pass Dinkytown in the current rail trench and rejoin University near TCF Bank Stadium?

You know that part in the beginning of The Matrix where that spermy-looking thing gets sucked out Neo’s body? Well, in about 20 years, that little guy could be inside all of us, according to a US inventor

I came across this scary story from the jolly old BBC that says “machines will achieve human-level artificial intelligence by 2029.” Leading US inventor Ray Kurzweil, the inventor of text-to-speech technology and the first keyboard synthesizer, told the BBC at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science in Boston, that humans will eventually have tiny …

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Though it would be nice to drink a beer at the movies, we all know that movie theaters are for popcorn and candy. Monstrous popcorn, with imitation butter, truly beautiful stuff. Any who, for those of you who didn’t know, I see myself as a sort of a film buff. This past week my little lady and I were watching the stupendous Badlands.

Photo by Colin Tuska

I had always heard good things about Terrence Malick’s 1973 masterpiece, but who knew it was so weird. …

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So I was looking around this here interweb and I decided to search for beer videos on YouTube. I thought that I was going to find some beer commercials, which I did, but this is far better. So we all like Legos, in fact some people love Legos. Others out there love beer. So this for all of you out there.

Lego Beer Song

In other news I drank a margarita tonight, which in The Blaggers world might be sacrilegious. It was seriously huge and seriously $7. Not bad …

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The Wake’s Multimedia Staff covered this years Democratic and Republican caucuses.

A Vote