The Wake - Fortnightly Magazine

Archive for March, 2009

Legalization of Marijuana

Danielle Attinella for The Wake Magazine ©Fluorescent tie-dye hoodies, hemp-necklaces, and uncombed hairs peeking out from knit hats. Mouths babbling gleefully. Friends waving arms that stem from shirts growing cannabis leaves. Not too much flannel to see, only a lad who spells patriotism with his American flag leather jacket. Baja sweatshirts cover curvy bellies that have suffered through many nights of the munchies.

This is a zoom-in of the hundreds of U students who gathered in the Willey Auditorium on Wednesday, March 4, all eager to witness the debate presented by guest speakers Robert Stutman and Steve Hager. …

Dawkins the Divider?

The night of Richard Dawkins’ March 4 lecture at the University of Minnesota was quiet. There were no militant Christians with picket signs, no Evangelicals looking for a mass-conversion; even campus’s staple evangelist, Brother Jed, was absent.

Also suspiciously absent were the soul-less, vacant-eyed God-haters that atheists are known to be, as well as the corresponding lightning bolts that God traditionally uses to strike them down.

Dawkins himself appeared to be nothing but a British man, which must have disappointed those eager for the opportunity to look pure evil in the eye.

Dawkins’ …

Political Science

Politics may be an old man’s game, but that doesn’t mean that younger candidates are automatically down for the count when it comes to political elections. After all, one of the big political platforms every election season is how politicians can get more so-called “young people,” involved. Yet often enough, college students that participate in the political process by running for election lose out to an older, more experienced candidate. While this isn’t always the case, it happens enough times to make one wonder: What’s the viability of a student candidate?

“We need …

Welcome To Hellister

I was walking in the Mall of America with a friend the other day when I discovered a rift in time and space somewhere between Lane Bryant and Bow-Wow-Meow. It was as if someone had built several house-like facade stores to form a house-like facade store neighborhood. I stood before the anomaly for a moment, puzzled as to why, if there were a God, he/she/it would allow such an atrocity to happen.

Despite my nausea, I managed to find the strength to make my way into the first shop, a purveyor of …

Too Rich For My Blood

A couple of weeks before heading off to college for my first year at the University of Minnesota, an old gentleman at the county fair asked a friend and I where we were going to school. My friend said she would be heading to Carleton, while I stated that I would soon be at the U.

To her, he replied, “excellent.” To me, he said, “You’re never going to get the true college experience, miss, because you aren’t going to be in a college town. Northfield, now that is a good college …

Gropey and Me

Long after the bright lights have faded, after the reporters have stopped knocking on my door, I still think about my time with Gropey.

It was an instant, really. Our eyes locked as I approached the bus stop. I could see his mouth moving to form comment, but my headphones stopped me from ever knowing what those likely enticing words were.

I turned, eyes drifting to the church across the street that must have only recently emptied of Sunday worshipers.

And then – an unexpected warmth – a pressure from behind. It was Gropey. His …

It’s a Google Earth, We Just Live In It

Wal-mart. I hear the word and my mind reels with the force of a thousand objections shooting to the surface. When it comes to Sam Walton’s infamous big-box nightmare, my brain is stockpiled with sensory and numerical data detailing exactly why we should be dismantling those big blue buildings brick by brick. This is no doubt facilitated by my ability to actually walk into a Wal-Mart, wrinkle my nose and walk right back out and go somewhere else.

When it comes to a company like Google, though, you can’t really do any …

A Picture Of The Expression On A Bakery Employee’s Face As She Watches A Woman Who Has Been Tied Up Get A Cock Shoved Down Her Throat

Later, she decorates the woman with sliced strawberries and whipped cream and icings of many colors while she is being fucked on a table.

[please note that the woman's restriction of movement is entirely voluntary and consensual as she attests to (after the icing has been washed from her) while sitting on a couch with a towel covering the naughty bits of her body, her face red with either excitement or shame or slapping, which is another thing that she likes, I assure you]

My review of the new P.O.S. album, pre-editing:

I can never be sure if the reason why I think Ipecac Neat is far and away the best P.O.S. album is because it’s actually better than everything he put out after it, or if it’s because it was one of the first hip-hop albums I ever liked, because I listened to it over and over and over and over in high school memorizing every word. This is the problem with all criticism: your response to every record you hear is conditioned by your life’s experience of music, by what you’ve heard and when and how many times and how …

Bukowski explains why his writing is like his writing, all covert:

“You must never let them know that you care or they will kill you.”

Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, and Christopher Hitchens debate which one of the big three “new atheists” is a bigger douchebag: opening statements

Dawkins [with smart-sounding British accent]: “Hitchens.”
Harris [pointing at Hitchens' podium]: “Hitchens.”
Hitchens [passed out drunk on his podium]: gurgle, snore

Art Shanty 2009: The Last Day a Few Weeks Late

Lady Gaga: Artist

“I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.”

All Writers, No Readers

Everyone wants to write a book. It’s a glorified prospect – you write a book, you must be bright. And in the digital age it couldn’t be simpler (to be bright). At this very moment, if I wanted, I could upload a text document containing any of my own writings, submit it to a self-publishing company such as iUniverse, LuLu Enterprises, CreateSpace or Xlibris and hold a hardcopy of it – sans editing – in a few days time.

The attraction to publish through one of these companies is clear: it’s cheap and quick (like couscous). Little to no upfront …

Preserving Historic Minneapolis

Minneapolis is known for its skyline. It’s the silver city, the minne-apple. Minnesota’s outsized number of major corporations have built, demolished and rebuilt the city five times over. Historic preservation has long been overlooked.

Even though Minneapolis’ Heritage Preservation Commission was formed in 1972, many “lesser” buildings have since seen the wrecking ball. Block upon block of downtown Minneapolis lies empty, full of cars by day and empty by the night. The North Loop and St. Anthony Falls feature the only large swaths of old Minneapolis.

Popular Tags