The Wake

I picked a bad year to follow the Gophers around. I picked a bad year to spray-paint my car maroon and gold, and invest the money to get it fixed up three times just so my best friend and I can roll into the tailgating lot, honking the car horn and playing the Minnesota Rouser on a $30 melody maker that I picked a bad year to buy.
I picked a bad year to travel to Michigan: my car broke down.

I picked a bad year to travel to Michigan State; it was raining and I lost my glasses. I picked a bad year to travel to Indiana: c’mon, we lost to Indiana, their only Big Ten win on the season. All in all, I picked a bad year to follow the Gophers.

But can you blame me? This was easily the most hyped Gopher team in my history as a Gopher fan. Virtually the same offense that gave us 10 wins last year, and a defense that, well, was supposed to be better.
Not only was our defense in no way improved, our offense somehow took a step backward. I want to give our beloved Coach Glen Mason some tips on how to improve our football team before I, like many of my friends, start calling for his resignation.
Get a new defensive coordinator. I’m sorry, but when we can’t stop Indiana from running for four first downs to close out the game, a warning sign needs to be illuminated reading; “Our Defensive Coordinator sucks. Change imminent.”
Give your QB a break and develop a short passing game. Excuses like “we’re just not very good at short passes,” are embarrassing.
Improve your non-conference schedule. I know, I know. You’re trying, but try a little harder. It’s getting more and more difficult to take this team seriously after an undefeated start when we can’t seem to beat any good Big Ten teams. Quit stringing us along.

And now on to this issue’s Most Valuable Gopher

Jamie Broback. The sophomore women’s basketball star shined bright in the Subway Classic, helping the Gophers win the tournament with 23 points in the championship game over Virginia Tech. Broback went on to win the tournament MVP award. The forward is having a great year after emerging as a key bench player in last year’s march to the Final Four.