The Wake

I could regale you with stories of my intramural past. Like the time my flag football team triumphantly completed our undefeated season with a come-from-behind victory in the championship game. But let’s be honest. You could care less.

This doesn’t mean intramurals aren’t interesting. On the contrary, they can spur the most lasting memories, the deepest feelings of anguish and ecstasy. But don’t take my word for it. Follow Timmy as he takes you through the ups and downs of intramural sports.

You may remember Timmy from his first “U” football experience. You know, when he knocked over all the chili? He is now deciding what intramural sport to play. He started with softball.

Softball was never Timmy’s favorite sport, but it seemed easy enough, and therefore he was inclined to join. His co-ed team was surprised when he showed up to his first game without a glove. When the game started, Timmy insisted on hitting leadoff. However, he had a hard time making contact with the slow, arcing shape of the softball’s path. He later learned he was supposed to grab the skinny end of the bat and was not supposed to be blindfolded.

Failing his first sport, Timmy left the West Bank softball fields and trudged across the Washington Avenue Bridge toward his next intramural endeavor.

Flag Football was next on Timmy’s list of intramural sports. He arrived at Beirman fields in Dinkytown and was awed by the electricity in the air. Whistles blew, obscenities yelled and pockets of fans cheered as the games unfolded under the field lights. Timmy found his team and asked to play defense. Running onto the field, his teammates told him to go after the quarterback. Five penalties and a broken shoulder later, Timmy was escorted off the field. Apparently you weren’t supposed to tackle in flag football.

Feeling left out of the “U’s” athletics community because of his lack of knowledge, a humble Timmy walked toward the Rec Center hoping yet to find the perfect intramural sport.

Dodgeball seemed like the right fit for Timmy. He entered Cooke Gymnasium and was immediately enthralled in the atmosphere of frenzied, flying balls. He couldn’t control his urges and quickly joined his team in the middle of their match. Timmy was a natural. He floated around the court like a ghost, impossible to hit, and threw the ball with such force that his opponents eventually held up their hands in defeat, conceding the match to Timmy’s unrivaled dodgeball talents

His awed teammates carried him on their shoulders all the way to Blarney’s for a victory bender. He finally felt like he belonged, and it was all thanks to intramural sports! For more information on intramural sports, visit its Web site, www.recsports.umn.edu

This issue’s Most Valuable Gopher is wrestler Mark Reiter. In his sophomore season with the Gophers, Reiter is poised to finish as one of the top wrestlers in his 133-pound weight class. He is considered the first top recruit to leave the wrestling Mecca that is the state of Iowa and wear maroon and gold. In his first match in Iowa City against the Hawkeyes, Reiter defeated the 11th ranked Mario Galanakis 2-0 in the Gophers’ losing effort.

A view from the bench is a fortnightly column written by Wake athletics editor Lane Trisko. His topics are chosen cleverly from his choice mind. Comments for trisko can be emailed to him at office@wakenews.org.