Best Of
May 5th, 2004
By Archived Story
Best Club Team: Men’s soccer
-After another great run at Nationals, highlighted by a 3-0 win over Weber State, helps make a case for a men’s varsity soccer team at the ‘U.’
Best Intramural Team: The Sanford All-Stars
-Think of the ‘U’ men’s hockey team without all the exposure, national championships, beards or jersey chasers.
Best Quote: Jerome Stewart of the Young Gunners Intramural Basketball Team
-“This is Jerome’s team, anyone that has any problems with that can f#*@ off.”
Hey, if y’all ain’t peepin’ what Jerome’s speakin’ ya best step or he’s gonna have to busta cap.
Biggest Moment By A “Meet The Gophers Athlete:” Rhys Lloyd and his game-winning field goal against those pesky Wisconsin Cheesemakers.
-Lloyd’s clutch kick brought back an axe wielded by a lumberjack who has absolutely no meaning in his native England. Cheerio!
Hottest Team: University of Minnesota’s Dance Team
-Giving Gopher Men’s Basketball fans a reason to fill Williams Arena after all.
Best Intramural Game: The Flag Football Championship Game and its victors the Spartans
-Kudos to a team that avoided injuries while playing on the poorly-watered, barren, crater-filled, rocky terrain that is Bierman Field.
Best Dressed “Meet the Gopher:” Aleksey Zharinov (see picture) (must have picture)
-If this pic had been in color, you’d see a red leather coat…Red…Awesome!
Best Athletic Picture: (See picture from March 31st Issue) (must have picture)
-For the two guys writing this, all we could muster was a collective, “Ouch.”
Best Referee: Grant Boelter
-His saintly patience to deal with Johnny “Dribbling Show” and Mike “Bitches Too Much” deserves this award and a sturdy handshake.
Worst Intramural Game: Broomball
-Only in Southern Canada would people get excited about walking around on a sheet of ice smacking a ball with a bristled cleaning utensil.
Worst Varsity Team: The Minnesota Men’s Gopher Basketball Team
-Say what you will about Clem Haskins, but his teams didn’t stop playing after February. Yet another class graduates that never had the chance to see them in a NCAA Tournament game.
