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dear oreo,
i know i just picked the world up and then i dropped it on yo fuckin head, oreo, but
in light of recent facebook drama, and i don’t fuckin do drama, i just do me, i thought i should extend a weed stem of peace towards america’s favorite cookie and offer my services, which are priceless but probably valued around a milli a milli a milli a milli.
let’s start with the facts.
1. weezy is the …
Proud Dripping Citizen
By Brian Johnson
Sing Christmas chimes in fourth of Julys
PACE, PACE, PACE
Down one aisle,
Up the next
You’re getting groceries,
You’re looking for an automotive part,
You’re mixing the alphabet with paper cuts
Your sacrifice is never belittled by the lack of brains it takes to do your job.
No.
Your happiness is just dripping-
As you shop for Christmas presents in summer
Hail to the chief proud dripping citizen!
Ride your shopping cart to heaven,
Where Santa lives
The store will be closing in 10 …
1
by Sofiya Hupalo
The Panamanian fucks the Roman.
The Romanians are pragmatists, but who cares?
“Déjà vu is only a chemical reaction in the brain,” they say, but we ignore them.
2
by Lukas Gohl
I live for moments when the human cacophony chokes
Air turns vivid, gripping your lungs
And time feels frozen and infinite
All that remains are the dulcet tones of the earth
Singing out to me as I finish this cigarette
3
The Davenport by Hannah Schnobrich
emerald city …
Photos by Matt Miranda and Scottie Tuska
D-day. Convention week. September 1st-4th. Republican Christmas. Call it what you will, the atmosphere in St. Paul that week was truly bizarre. Amongst the commotion surrounding the MSNBC Free Speech Stage® a Tucson cop buys himself a hocked McCain-Palin T-shirt. A man in a suit claims to be McCain’s second choice for VP. A group of antiwar feminists decry the nomination of Sarah Palin and a group of radical …
In my pursuit of the new Xiu Xiu album, I stumbled upon another gem released in the same week.
Vampire Weekend’s official full-length debut has taken the spotlight in a big way over the past two weeks. Their eponymous album represents a textbook example of Internet hype controlling a band’s fortunes.
Vampire Weekend mixes …
Dear Uncle Ethan,So there’s this girl who’s got everything going for her: she’s gorgeous, smart, funny, and we’re totally on the same wavelength intellectually.There’s only one problem: she’s dating my roommate. But when she talks to me, I get a strong vibe that she’s craving something more. How can I steal this girl without my roommate killing me in my sleep? JessieDear Jessie,First off, roommates come and go, but true love is forever. So you …
I’m in an auditorium and 25% of the students are sleeping, 25% are sudokuing The Minnesota Daily and roughly half the room appears to be either paying attention or staring blankly into space. 10% of students look like they’re taking notes. Personally, I’m on my laptop, writing this introductory paragraph and wishing I were somewhere far, far away. What happened to that college education I was promised in high school?This particular class is Intro …
Irony is tricky. Often cited but rarely understood, it is a modern day conversation-killer that has the power to make you sound both stupid and pretentious. The difficulty starts with the many definitions of the word. Beginning with Socrates who “knew nothing,” continuing through Shakespeare with Roman (dramatic) irony, and finally into the all-encompassing cosmic irony, the word has proven its resiliency until now. Plagued my constant misuse and misappropriation, we might be witnessing the …
In the 1960s, student demonstrations for free speech erupted at the University of California at Berkeley, attracting national attention and cementing the movement’s reputation as a landmark in the history of civil disobedience and student protest. Since then, American universities like Berkeley have been seen as hotbeds of activism, “marketplaces of ideas” where multiple voices can be heard. But Indoctrinate U, an independent documentary that played last month at Oak St. Cinema as part of …
The Hip Hop Live show, in First Avenue’s Main room on the 11th, showcased three MCs; Brother Ali, Ghostface Killah, and Rakim. Though from drastically different backgrounds, the three artists share a bond through a common, continuing the fight for the survival of Hip Hop as vital music and a respected art form. It’s an uphill battle these days. Hip Hop over the last 8 years has slowly eroded into lack luster MCs with …
Coming from a middle-class suburb, walking around campus and seeing thick-rimmed glasses, scarves, vintage sweaters and leggings typically emblematic of pretentious indie rock kids makes me nostalgic for the Insane Clown Posse and Slipknot T-shirts clouding my high school memories.Throwing on Victory Records’ The Autumn Offering’s new CD is like taking a step back to simpler times – like 9th grade. Fear Will Cast No Shadow, the Florida metalcore band’s third studio album, wait for …
I recently created a sandwich. I call it the Spumonty Cristo because it is derived from a sandwich recipe called the Monte Cristo, served at Grandma’s restaurant on Washington. Music by The Patron has the same air of nonsensical compatibility as my …
The Pantages was packed with people of all ages excited to see the band Stars perform. The band threw roses and praises from the stage. The lobby was bustling and the merch table was flooded. “Last time we played in Minneapolis, about 45 people showed up,” Torquil Campbell told the crowd, which promptly erupted into cheers and applause.Stars is touring for their new album, In Our Bedroom After the War. Opening with “Take Me to …
It’s hard to tell whether the harshest critics of Wes Anderson (director of such films as Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou and The Royal Tenenbaums) lack imagination, or whether they flat-out don’t get it. Either way, his work can be easily characterized as “not for everyone.”These critics need to offer legitimate rationale for this negative point of view. Instead, they use buzzwords like “pretentious” and “affected,” and calling Anderson a one-trick pony who relies …
In this day and age, it’s no wonder that a fictional animated metal band can blow away an audience. That’s exactly what Dethklok, the band featured in the show “Metalocalypse” on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim, did on Wednesday Nov. 7 in the Great Hall at Coffman Union. Despite being billed as the opening act for …And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead, Dethklok not only stole the main time slot but proved …