The Wake

Mai Na Lee’s earliest memories are of school. Living with her mother and older brother in a village in Laos, Lee spent her time playing around the village’s open-walled schoolhouse, watching her brother lead other students through lessons. He was the best in the class and she looked up to him.Unfortunately, Lee was too young for school. Hmong tradition dictated that school-age children must be able to wrap an arm over their head and touch …

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Many people consider American football to be a barbaric sport. I can’t imagine why. The players wear full pads, there are rules designed to protect the quarterbacks and kickers, and there’s an infraction for “unnecessary roughness.” You’ll have to excuse rugby players if they roll their eyes at the notion that football is the only brutal sport played on this campus.The Gophers men’s rugby team has been around since 1968. It is a club sport, …

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Africa is fascinating, mainly for its relative mystery to us in the western world. We are so far removed from the culture that a trip to the West Bank can sometimes serve as a miniature culture shock.Stepping out of the car on 6th St., I was greeted by a myriad of men and women chattering in Somali and other foreign languages. I turned onto Cedar Ave., then into Tam-Tam’s African Restaurant – a safe haven …

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If you’re reading The Wake, chances are the government has already tapped your phones and is currently digging through your emails, trying to collect enough evidence to break out some “enhanced interrogation techniques” on your ass. With the Patriot Act in place and working splendidly (terrorism-free since 2001!), and legions of super spies equipped with high-tech gadgetry spanning the globe, the American people can rest assured that the government knows what it’s doing. Between Team …

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I recently witnessed things that no American should ever see.President Bush was eating Keith Olberman’s face off. Then he and Bill O’Reilly sodomized Olberman’s lifeless corpse as O’Reilly yelled, “Oh yeah bitch! I’m gonna cut your mike so hard!” Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid had gag balls in their mouths while they were being whipped by Vice President Cheney in front of Congress. I even saw Stephen Colbert …

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Words are interesting in that if you say them enough, they lose all meaning. When certain phrases are repeated endlessly, they eventually end up as configurations of letters held in vacuum with no context to give them weight or meaning. To wit: what the hell is Islamo-Fascism? It’s an important question given that October 22-26 was “Islamo-Fascism Awareness Week” (IFAW) and, believe it or not, our campus was a “participant.”IFAW is the brainchild of David …

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Any college student who loves to play videogames wants an Xbox 360. They also want a Nintendo Wii. Some of the more affluent students just might want a Playstation 3. Myself, I want all three. When I heard about this website RadioFreeXbox.com, I thought it was too good to be true. I was driving to school when an ad for it came on the radio, complete with the standard testimonials from people who I can …

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In the middle of the night in a dark parking lot in the Cedar-Riverside neighborhood, I recently shouted at a complete stranger that I was going to rob him. My actual words were, “Man, I’ll rob your ass!” In a way, I wanted to mean it, although I have never robbed anyone in my life and do not plan to. In order to explain my vicious threat in the dark of night, I need to …

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I believe that my Halloween roots were much like any other child’s. There are photographs of me in costumes I don’t recall wearing, with other children I don’t know. I remember that my aunt and uncle would bring us to Edina to trick-or-treat, where they handed out the king-sized candy bars. I know that I was an angel, a rabbit, a Kirsten doll, a clown, and a pumpkin. My elementary school had a Halloween parade …

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Dear Uncle Ethan,I’m a TA for an intro anatomy course and I’m in a bit of a pickle. I have a bit of a crush on one of the students in my lab section. I’m not too worried about the age gap (it’s small); It’s the ethics of dating a student that I’m concerned about. I know student-professor relationships are explicitly forbidden, but I haven’t heard anything regarding TAs. Thoughts?
-Extra …

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Our beloved Dinkytown; the hot spots are too numerous to count. From a hung-over morning at Al’s Breakfast, to a drunken stupor into Mesa’s pizza, or a custom “waterpipe” from the Hideaway, it’s a fine tradition. When it comes to the matter of evening date activities, is there any competition? The Varsity Theater, on any given night, can be your sure shot option. With its comfortable interior and diverse lineup of acts, you’re likely to …

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Though their name hints at an influence of psychedelics, White Rabbits haven’t got anything to do with Jefferson Airplane, or feeding your head. And although they’re residents of NYC, originally from Missouri, their sound isn’t geographically linked to either. Of their six members, two are full time drummers. Their use of various percussion instruments, tinkering, then pounded pianos have led to a self described, “honky-tonk calypso,” sound. Their constant use of shakers and maracas, and …

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Radiohead - In Rainbows

You’ve heard all the rumors. Radiohead, a British rock group, recently released their seventh full length album on the Internet… for free. Now I know what you’re thinking, “Where can I, a law abiding college student, obtain a free copy of this trendy new intangible record?” My answer is “Sssssssssssshhhh, if you’re very quiet …

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The new Harlots album shines like a polished pearl atop a mountain of shit. In a genre glutted with mediocre Converge and Pig Destroyer impressions, breakdown-overloaded astructural deathcore, and boring Neur-Isis look-alikes, Harlots have managed to put out a record that is inspired, interesting, and unique.Though Betrayer does clearly draw from the schools of thought listed above, it is not subservient to them. When the album gets brutal (which happens early and often,) some riffs …

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Land ownership is such a scam. Somebody takes a big plot of earth, cordons it off, and builds a giant eyesore, most likely another business campus or other breeding ground for the living dead. They feed off of the nectar of dirt covered in grass covered in concrete covered in plastic, wood, carpet, rubber, and particle board for a few years and then leave it to rot. But they don’t really leave. They set up …

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