The Wake

Oscar the Grouch lived every day in his garbage can, surrounded by filth, bird feces, cookie crumbs, Elmo and hypodermic needles (Snuffleupagus loved his smack!). But what if he and all of Sesame Street were covered with 245.7 million tons of trash, which is what the EPA estimated Americans generated in 2005?

Environmental studies, policy and management senior Alison Luedtke knows what life …

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An extreme study conducted by the University of Missouri last April, “21st Birthday Drinking: Extremely Extreme,” (this is the real name, google it) showed of 2,518 respondents, 83 percent drank alcohol on their birthday. That’s Xtreme!!

It comes as no surprise, then, that authorities have decided to respond. Signed by 130 university chancellors and presidents, the Amethyst Initiative, created last July, states that the 21-year-old drinking age is not working and must be dealt with. But …

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As this was being written, the Dow Jones dropped 679 points and plunged below 9,000, making this
the sixth straight day of triple digit loses. At this time last year, it was at an all-time high at 14,164.53, a decline of 39%. What does this mean for Joe Six-Pack? You could ask Sarah Palin and hear a folksy story about how Alaskans just want to drill baby, drill.

Or, you could join the Stock Traders Club here …

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It’s 8:15 a.m. and the only thing that makes waking up worth it at this hour is that one guy or girl who sits next to you in class. As you talk to him, his face is pointed towards you, but his body is facing away. Or, as you casually joke about how nerdy the professor looks today, she stares down at her notes rather than you and leans back in her chair as far …

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Let’s move to the local scene for this next post. For the first time since Gov. Tim Pawlenty has taken office in Minnesota, the state house and senate overrode one of his vetoes. Way to finally grow a pair state reps.

The bill that was vetoed and then overridden was a $6.6 billion transportation plan for the state which included the first gas tax increase in 20 years for Minnesota. …

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I’ve seem to have drifted off the news path on this so-called blog, and I’m sure the four of you who read this are pretty pretty pretty disappointed. So here’s some hardcore news from the past few days that will give some junkies a small fix.

Castros

First off, Fidel Castro resigned as president of Cuba last Tuesday 49 years after he obtained power in a revolution. This gives the UK and the US a …

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Even though I did not watch any of the Oscars, nor did I see most of the best picture nominees, I feel like part of me won an Academy Award: Best state in the mother fucking union.

The Oscars winners were announced Sunday night and like usual ran way over time. The pomp and circumstance this year was hosted by Jon Stewart, who began the night, according to Reuters, by ripping on how depressing …

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Photo by Angie Myhre

Although it is still as cold as a witch’s teat in Minnesota every winter, the climate is changing (no joke). But when most people in the Upper Midwest hear discussion on climate change, they usually think of how it will effect the rest world, not how it will influence little ole Minnesota.

“Paradise Lost: Climate Change in …

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Minnesota held statewide caucuses on Tuesday, February 5, and it was a sight to see. Ford Hall was the place to be for young Republicans on campus. Caucus organizers expected a measly 10-20 people, while roughly 300 decided to make their voices heard. With no organization whatsoever, lines stretched across the first floor of Ford Hall, and classrooms were standing room only.

You know that part in the beginning of The Matrix where that spermy-looking thing gets sucked out Neo’s body? Well, in about 20 years, that little guy could be inside all of us, according to a US inventor

I came across this scary story from the jolly old BBC that says “machines will achieve human-level artificial intelligence by 2029.” Leading US inventor Ray Kurzweil, the inventor of text-to-speech technology and the first keyboard …

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After two hardcore serious political blogs, I needed to decompress from pandering and caucuses. So here is a happy piece from La La land.

As I wind down from a long hard day of calling random people and making them take surveys they really don’t want any part of, I decide to watch re-runs of Family Guy on Adult Swim. Then I saw this Associated Press story about an end to the writer’s strike!!!! Oh …

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I realized something in my poly. sci. class today. I realized how close we were to a nuclear holocaust twice. In Nov. 1983, the Soviets were so trigger happy that after NATO performed a training exercise that simulated a nuclear attack called “Able Archer“, the reds believed the US was preparing to attack the USSR for reals, and the tension mirrored that of the Cuban Missile Crisis.

We also learned about “Mutual …

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****DISCLAIMER*****: I am not calling Mitt Romney a homosexual. Nor do I have anything against homosexuals or fellatio in general. Romney just did terrible on Super Pooper Tuesday and I like shitty puns. Please do not send hate mail, or do.

It’s 1:00 a.m. and I feel like celebrating Romney dropping out of the race!!!!! WOOOOO!!!!!! Why am I awake writing this early?

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, whose real name is Willard by …

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Welcome all to my blog, the Eye (Wake Symbol)-Witness. My name is Scott and I am the blog whisperer (HA! Alice, I knew I could fit this name somewhere on here). I will gently whisper sweet nothings about news from across the campus and the globe, so you will feel more informed and hopefully you’ll stop pissing and shitting on your master’s couch.

To quote the great Foreigner, “It feels like the first …

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