My First Conspiracy Theory

One girl, the internet, and the Illuminati.

Illustrator: Lindy Wirth

Illustrator: Lindy Wirth

It was in middle school when I first heard the phrase “Illuminati confirmed.” My classmates would regularly say it, and everyone thought that it was so, so funny. In the hallways, guys would flash each other the Illuminati symbol, touching their two index fingers and thumbs to create a triangle. For a while, I had no idea what they were referencing or why it was so hilarious.

Little did I know, the idea of the Illuminati is one of the most famous conspiracy theories around. Since my curiosity got the best of me and I took to Google, I’ve become well acquainted with this conspiracy theory. Actually, I’ve become a bit obsessed with it.

I’m not usually one to fall for conspiracy theories. Bush did 9/11? No. The Holocaust never happened? No way. We live in a parallel universe? Doubtful. At first, I dismissed the idea of the Illuminati too. But as I have researched it more and more, I can say now that yes, I am a believer (or at least a partial believer).

To give a brief historical overview of the Illuminati, I will start by saying that its plural form “illuminatus” roughly translates to “enlightened” from Latin. Historically, the Illuminati refers to a secret society called the Bavarian Illuminati, which was formed in Germany in 1776. The group was a faction of Freemasons vehemently against the Catholic Church. They wanted to be autonomous from both the strongholds of the church and the government. However, I am more interested in modern day Illuminati conspiracies, which revolve around pop culture celebrities and satanic ritual.

It’s no secret that symbols and “clues” which point to the existence of the Illuminati are present in many aspects of pop culture. Mega pop star Beyoncé has been said to be the “queen” of the Illuminati and her husband Jay-Z the “king.” Either they are all playing everyone, or as I have come to believe, Beyoncé and Jay-Z are really primary members of the Illuminati.

If you don’t believe me, here I present you with some solid evidence: At the 2013 Super Bowl Halftime Show, while a camera was doing a close-up shot of Beyoncé, she made a triangle symbol with her hands, which is the most well-known of all Illuminati symbols. In front of millions of viewers, Beyoncé showed her allegiance to the society with one simple gesture. Sometimes called the “All-Seeing Eye,” or the “Eye of Providence” this symbol is often tied to the Illuminati, though you can also find it on a U.S. dollar bill.

Obviously, Satan has something to do with this.

For those who have been following Beyoncé’s music for a while, you are probably familiar with her sophomore album, “I Am… Sasha Fierce.” According to the internet, Sasha Fierce is Beyoncé’s alter-ego who is also a demon. Supposedly, during her performances, she channels Sasha Fierce. Obviously, Satan has something to do with this.

In her song “Formation,” Beyoncé nodded to the many speculations about her connections to the Illuminati, with the lyrics: “Y’all haters corny with that Illuminati mess.” Evidently, she is trying to dissuade the public that she is not a part of the secret society, but both the internet and I know better than to believe that.

There has also been some conspiracy theories surrounding the name of Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s first born daughter, Blue Ivy. According to some questionable internet sites, her name stands for “Born Living Under Evil, Illuminati’s Very Youngest.”

Along with the famous power-couple and their daughter, there are many other celebrities that comprise the secret society. Lady Gaga is supposedly associated with the Illuminati as well as Kanye West, which doesn’t surprise me because Jay-Z and Kanye are longtime friends and collaborators. Remember when Kanye created huge buzz when he called out Taylor Swift at the 2009 VMAs, saying that Beyoncé rightfully deserved the award for Best Female Video? This was all a ploy by the Illuminati.

The existence of the Illuminati also explains the deaths of Michael Jackson and Tupac, assuming that they are dead (oooh … ). In 2016, pictures circulated of a person who appeared to be Michael Jackson and made the internet community of conspiracy theorists go crazy with excitement. It has also been said that the Illuminati killed rapper Tupac because he was gaining too much popularity for his ideas. It’s no coincidence that the rapper’s final studio album was called “The Don Killuminati: The 7 Day Theory.”

Whether you believe in the Illuminati, you have to admit that the idea of a secret society of celebrities running the world is fascinating. For me, what started as a joke in middle school became an exploration into some deep and wild places within the internet.