My time in a college relationship from afar
I started seeing someone I met in high school four months before we both headed to college—him to Chicago, me to Minneapolis. Since then, I’ve seen my friends’ and classmates’ high school relationships disintegrate, but two years later, I’m still happy with the same guy, despite being seven hours apart. A part of me wants to brag because I did it and you guys didn’t and hey Tommy who broke my heart junior year of high school, look at me now!!! But in all honesty, it’s never been that easy. Patrick and I have made it work, but not without hard lessons learned. Like these.
Pay attention to unhealthy behaviors. I spent almost my entire freshman year getting jealous of any girl in the background of a photo he was tagged in on Facebook. In typical me fashion, I couldn’t let that go. I constantly texted him about feeling jealous. In hindsight, it’s clear that he didn’t care about anyone else like he cared about me, but at the time, what could he tell me that would make me feel better? Do not be this person. Let your significant other live their life, and find your own thing at your own school. The silver lining of a LDR is that you’re forced to have your own friends, so embrace this.
Accept that you will both let each other down at some point. Some nights they’ll go out and you’ll stay in. If it’s right, they’ll be there Sunday to talk to you about how bad your week was, or how you got sick from Shuang Cheng leftovers, or how Taylor Swift’s new album is so good and you don’t want to like it but you just do. My one of my friend’s LDR fizzled (and then exploded) because her ex wouldn’t talk to her about all the daily bullshit. He ignored her need to confide in him. My relationship with Patrick feels like having a best friend who always takes my side and truly wants to hear about my day.
The silver lining of a LDR is that you’re forced to have your own friends, so embrace this.
Long distance isn’t for anyone who half-asses things. It goes without saying, but if you honestly don’t see a future past college with the person you’re with, you’d be happier ending it before it ruins months of opportunities. If it’s right for you, there’s a million ways to keep it going. Save money to visit, find ways to make the bedroom aspect work from afar, be honest about the long-term, make friends with your significant other’s friends, and don’t flirt with random people at parties. Trust me, the comfort of a person hundreds of miles away who always wants to kiss you is nothing to be tampered with.
If it’s right for you, there’s a million ways to keep it going.