To the Barista Android:

Why is your default setting to put my coffee in a paper cup with a plastic lid instead of a ceramic mug? Who programmed you incorrectly? It’s Sunday today – do I look like I need my coffee to go? I notice everyone else has paper cups. I see you have plenty of clean coffee mugs. What is your malfunction?

To the girls sitting within earshot:

Stop talking about the sodium-potassium pump like it’s something complex, profound and/or meaningful. I don’t like that tone. You think you’re so insightful. There is so such thing as an ‘overshoot phase’ so stop calling it that. It’s called hyperpolarization. And don’t even think about trying to make that word sound special – it’s simply a description of what is happening. Or what we think is happening. Why don’t you break from the norm and conceive a new system to describe what is happening in cells?

The two of you are premed. I can just tell. Please quit now to become baristas that know when to give your customers coffee mugs.

Tags: contemplations