The Wake

My days of running the point for the Imperial College Medical Basketball Team may be numbered. Team captain, Xu Wang, has grown weary of my months worth of excuses for not yet paying my dues. A hefty forty pounds, which I’ve been able to avoid through an intricate web of stories. However, he’s finally layed down the law, “pay at the game or you’re out.” We’ll see what a few carefully worded emails can’t do, but here’s a summary of our season so far.

We’ve lost four of the five games we’ve played since I’ve joined, but this is not to be taken as a poor showing. It’s a step up from last year’s zero win season. Coach Yanni (the one kneeling in the center dressed in all purple) , enjoys flashy/ stylish play, which I demonstrated to the point that I now play for the entire length of every game. Here’s what he said recently in an email to the team…

“Dear all

I do understand many players are disappointed with the poor performances. Some
people think a coach can turn a team’s fortunes in a few weeks but these people
are dreaming. We cannot defend - man-to-man or Zone - we do not block out, we do
not take pride in our defence, we play for ourselves. We do not help each other
at defence. When the opponents take the defencive rebound and run the fast break
we do not sprint back to do the defence. I understand that some of you are quite
stressed when stepping on the court which is a combination of lack of games and
limited basketball skills. The skills can improve. We do not screen to make way
for our better players like Carl to get some easier baskets. We do not have the
stamina to last long. Some players feel - rightly or not - they have been fouled
during the game and stop playing, they look at the referee or decide not to run
back. That’s how the opponents build up the difference, 10 points up at every
quarter, 5 baskets more per quarter and we are unable to stop them. You started
the last game with Zone defence and their 2 guards are unmarked as you believe
you mark a small space which is actually much wider!!! The guards mark the
opponent guards man-to-man at the Zone defence.
We have a chance to win when the players on the court try to pass to the player
who is freed from his opponent. We have a chance to win when we screen to make
it easier for our prolific players to score. We have a chance of winning when
you forget who is the first and/or second scorer and work as a team. Lucky
baskets are scored only once in a game! When I gather you around to speak to u,
someone bounces the ball, someone is trying to make a basket, someone is still
on the other side of the court looking around. I’m not a person who has a
problem with the last comment, it just shows how chaotic the whole situation is.
I do not want your money, I do it for free, to gain knowledge and experience. If
I had a team with Patricks, Carls, Xiros and Tonys, I sit at the bench and enjoy
the game. The scorers playing the one on one succesfully and the robots doing
the dirty work without complain. Some coaches like that situation but I want to
work with players with poor basketball abilities and make them better. Next
week, I will work on the half court with some players on some simple moves.

Anyway, I shall anounce the team tomorrow. Xiro, you are not available for the
game, are you?”

I came over to London with the intention of playing Soccer, but the college team was already full. I do play a few times each week in Regents Park and Hyde Park, and have also joined a weekly 5 on 5 league, but it has been fun to play basketball, as British people lack basketball skills to the extent that people in the U.S. generally lack soccer skills.