The Wake

Welcome all to my blog, the Eye (Wake Symbol)-Witness. My name is Scott and I am the blog whisperer (HA! Alice, I knew I could fit this name somewhere on here). I will gently whisper sweet nothings about news from across the campus and the globe, so you will feel more informed and hopefully you’ll stop pissing and shitting on your master’s couch.

To quote the great Foreigner, “It feels like the first time.” But truly this is my second. Here’s a shameless plug for my old JOUR 3101 news blog. Go check it out B! So to make it easy for both you and I, I’ll be gentle this once. I’ll make sure it doesn’t hurt too bad, but down the road, you’ll grow to like it and you’ll be craving it all the time. My blog that is. Why what were you thinking about? You sick bastard! I don’t even want you to read this blog! Just kidding, I love you and I never meant to hurt you!

But seriously. All you have to do is listen to every word I say, for I only speak the truth. Otherwise may God/Buddha/Allah/Tao/Confusious/Science/L. Ron Hubard(I think i hit them all) strike me down with lightning!

FUCK! My hair just lit on fire, give me one sec…..

OK that smelt like death but anyways, hold on tight because once I get out of this cubicle I’m sitting in at the Star Tribune newsroom that is turning me into a nut right now, the posts are going to come hard and fast, just the way your mom likes it. ZING!!!!!!111!!!!!$#

Tags: , blog, eye witness