America is a High School, and we’re all Ugly, Untalented and Unpopular
March 25th, 2008
By Erik Helin
Our celebrity-obsessed media has turned America into a high school full of stereotypes. There are cliques, opinion leaders, and, most of all, jealous but vicarious critics looking to bash but idolize the popular kids.
I frequent the pop culture blogs. I don’t do it because I care about the celebrities. I do it because I care about why so many people care about the celebrities. And to be honest, it seems to me like we’re carrying the same grudges and judgments held when we were 16.
Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian and Nichole Richie are the rich, popular kids with all the newest clothes and coolest stuff. They also have all these popular celebrity friends and boyfriends who have the coolest houses and cars. They all go to the coolest parties (to which we’re never invited) and drink the finest drinks. And, they didn’t have to work for it, and they may never have to work for the rest of their lives. So they’re stupid.
This makes the pop culture bloggers and news sources like TMZ.com the vocal critics – think any character from a John Hughes movie that isn’t Molly Ringwald. These social pariahs, these leeches are fueling this endless cycle of turning anti-news into news. They feed off of the misfortune of others, exploiting the most minor of pitfalls. And, what’s worse, though they build these celebrities up to be larger-than-life, enviable figures, the entire time they’re insulting and chastising their actions. There’s this bitter dichotomy between rhetoric and intention: one side is nasty and slanderous (the rhetoric), and the other is in some ways benevolent (the intention). If you look at www.popscribe.com‘s take on the rumored Lindsay Lohan sex tape, once it was found out that the source pictures were fakes, the blogger made no apologies, instead continuing the rumor, resorting to high school tactics, calling Lohan “Blohan.” The rhetoric in this kind of coverage is disgraceful and embarrassing. The fact that the blogger is even blogging about this subject, however, is in some ways flattering. The intention to aggrandize such marginal figures is not necessarily progressive, but it is somewhat complimentary.
And what does that make us? (Note: by us I’m referring to those who actually subscribe to this celebrity culture; which, while it may not be you, it’s many, many people.) We are the lowest of the low. If Paris is the prom queen, and John and Patrice from Popscribe are the gossipers, then we’re the faceless kids in the crowd. We have to live vicariously through the fascinating lives of these celebrities, forced bitterly into contention with our own situations. We share the gossip, we may even spread the gossip, but we don’t produce it. We make nothing worthwhile in the overall scope of things.
Then why do we care? Celebrities have done nothing to us. The social aristocracy has done nothing to us. The media has bred this fascination with the foibles of the elite. This is our way of sticking it to the upper class. We can’t attain the power we strive for, so we have to cut down those in power with cheap high school insults, and it’s pathetic.
The revolution will not be televised – it will be blogged about, and shouted in epithet at passing by Escalades with tinted windows. And the cameras will flash.
You’re all sick.
Tags: blog, Celebrities, High School, Lindsay Lohan, Media, Paris Hilton, Pop Culture, Sex Tapes
Comments & Discussion
Celeb gossip is definitely in cautionary tale mode at the moment. Wear panties and don’t drive drunk seem to be central themes right now.
We def. try to be a bit less slanderous and more accountable for what we post than post than most gossip blogs, but Blohan sort of worked in this situation.
You’ve hit the head on the nail with the comparison to High School. I personally prefer to think I’m on Yearbook and everyone has a shot at getting a page.
Patrice
popscribe.com
“We def. try to be a bit less slanderous”? With headlines like “Paris Hilton is an Idiot,” and “Britney Is Totally Crazy (Do Not Miss)” how can you claim any kind of ethical code or morality? Don’t you see that you are the problem? You sit in an ivory tower spewing irrelevant trivialities about the lives of people (I presume) you’ve never met. Where do you get off? I agree that celebrities should be held in different esteem than common people, but to chastise them for the most pedestrian of mistakes is only fueling the fire of ignorance and apathy in this nation.
“Gossip is an Artform!” is the tag-line to your site, right? Well I have news for you - gossip is a crutch. It’s a distraction used to anesthetize problems and mask more pressing issues. When only 69% of US citizens can name the Vice President and Britney Spears is the #1 Google search 3 of the past 4 years, we have a problem.
I don’t think celebs should be held to a different standard than most people. I just think that they have a better chance of getting caught when they do something idiotic.
I also have no ivory tower to speak of…If you knew me you would know that say nothing I wouldn’t say to the person’s face. Telling Paris I believe she is an absolute twit would not prove difficult.
Gossip and the cult of celebrity in the US is a self feeding monster. Schadenfreude is a mother of a thing. The Internet has only heightened the craze. Younger Stars now come into the business with the first scandal they will have quasi-planned.
We live in a time where having a sex tape can be considered a career move. Lumping the blame on gossip blogs is short sighted. Spend a day talking to publicists and sifting through press releases and you’ll see I’m only as useful as the info and pics that I’m sent.
As for more pressing issues of course they exist. I don’t think gossip is solely to blame for the apathy in this country. We are a country at war and there are no shortage of other tragedies and injustice in the world at the moment.
“I don’t think celebs should be held to a different standard than most people. I just think that they have a better chance of getting caught when they do something idiotic.”
Well if you don’t think they should be held to a different standard, why does it matter if they do something idiotic? I personally feel that they should be held to a different standard, because there is a responsibility when you’re in the public eye. People look up to Paris Hilton. But, when the public has nothing to go off of but these skewed characterizations of Paris Hilton, we have a problem.
“I also have no ivory tower to speak of…If you knew me you would know that say nothing I wouldn’t say to the person’s face. Telling Paris I believe she is an absolute twit would not prove difficult.”
The fact that you even write these things puts you in the ivory tower. It has nothing to do with the fact that you would say it to their faces. The fact that you feel superior to them to the point where you can spout gossip about their personal lives is the issue. How would you feel if someone followed your every move, insulting your mistakes?
“Gossip and the cult of celebrity in the US is a self feeding monster. Schadenfreude is a mother of a thing. The Internet has only heightened the craze. Younger Stars now come into the business with the first scandal they will have quasi-planned.”
Gossip is not a self-feeding monster. It’s a tabloid and gossip-feeding monster. You feed the cult of celebrity. Without you, the paparazzi, and tabloids there would be no cult of celebrity. Schadenfreude is a mother of a thing, that we can agree. But schadenfreude stems from bitterness and hatred. My question is: why are celebrities the brunt of this? Why are they so despised? Because they’re rich and famous?
“We live in a time where having a sex tape can be considered a career move. Lumping the blame on gossip blogs is short sighted. Spend a day talking to publicists and sifting through press releases and you’ll see I’m only as useful as the info and pics that I’m sent.”
I do agree with the fact that sex tapes can be a career move. And I’m not just blaming gossip blogs. I’m blaming all media outlets that indulge in this bullshit medium, and the people who interestedly read it.
And, “I’m only as useful as the info and pics that I’m sent”? I have to ask this, why do you care? Where do you find any shred of happiness in Britney Spears shaving her head or Kim Kardashian fucking Ray J?
“As for more pressing issues of course they exist. I don’t think gossip is solely to blame for the apathy in this country. We are a country at war and there are no shortage of other tragedies and injustice in the world at the moment.”
I don’t think it’s solely to blame either. But I do think it’s the perfect avatar for the downfall of Americans’ interest in real issues. Yeah, there is a war going on right now, as well as a recession, genocides, civil rights concerns, etc. How does gossip help anything? Don’t you see that our celebrity culture is a tragedy and an injustice? And furthermore, don’t you feel somewhat guilty for perpetuating this disgusting cycle?