After a typical café or restaurant meal, I am always stifled with a particular uncertainty – what is the appropriate tip? The level of my frustration depends on the venue – sitdowns are an obvious 15-20 percent, coffee shops take change jars, and fast foods are a no go. However, the elaborate bistros and tearooms are always ambiguous. After thinking it over, I have drafted a few personal standards that attempt to qualify tip worthy attendants.

For example, there are eateries in which a behind-the-counter employee takes your order, which is then custom prepared but requires you to go up to get it (Panera mode). This is a no-tip establishment, especially if I have to pick up after myself. There are similar places that have attendants refilling your drink mid-meal or taking away plates afterwards (like D’Amico & Sons). These places deserve a tip – an approximate 15 percent. Most likely the gratuity is divided among staff in some manner, but even if they aren’t quite waiters per se, they ought to have something. Still, I stumble when it comes to cafés with servers – what if I only get a drink? Sadly and unfortunately, the respectful thing would be to tip, but maybe not as much. They are technically waiters.

If a server mixes up/forgets an order, not only do I tip less, but put on an unimpressed face as well. This way he/she feels bad and hopes to compensate for it with an on the house offer. My roommate once got a free drinks and a meal because her appetizer basket of chips caught on fire. There is always an upside to a restaurant mishap.

On another note, what if the food was excellent but the service was horrible? Or vice versa? This has troubled me for quite some time, and honestly, I still have no idea. I would hate to undermine a job well done on one end, but don’t want an unskilled worker to receive what they didn’t earn. My measly solution is to send an appreciatory message to the cook, and if the service is terrible, leave change.
Deliveries work geographically and meteorologically. If it comes a long way or in bad Minnesotan weather conditions, a larger sum makes an otherwise crappy trip worth it. Kindness, karma. On the other hand, if the delivery takes a lot longer than normal, I might even demand a discount (unless there is a plausible excuse). Hungry makes angry.

Since money is tight these days, I would encourage tip creativity. Another friend was once very short on cash, but didn’t have it in her heart to leave the table empty, so she rewarded the server with coupons and a gift card. What a pleasant surprise!

As for upscale fine dining, double digits are a minimum. Since most college students don’t splurge on four-star dining, it really doesn’t concern me. Those types of places are filled with pompous middle-aged folk, anyways.

Tags: awkwardness