The Wake

MN State Fair

Yesterday I attended the Minnesota State Fair, the famous annual festival full of deep-fried Twinkies, chocolate-covered bacon, and alligator on a stick, among many other strange foods. It had been ten years since my last visit, and I nearly forgot how Minnesota politicians of all kinds use the Fair to their advantage during election seasons. The first stands I saw on entrance (after buying an $8 ticket from a scalper — the regular price is $11) were for the Minnesota Farmers Union and the Minnesota DFL. The right wing radio station AM 1280 The Patriot had a broadcasting booth just across the street, complete with T-Shirts that read “Nobama” and “Liberalism is a disease.” Yes, politics at the State Fair can sometimes be just as deep-fried, bloated, and authentic as the food it serves.

During mid-morning, after buying a $5 bratwurst covered in sauerkraut, I stumbled upon Darryl Stanton, an unknown running for Norm Coleman’s U.S. Senate seat as an independent. It looked like he was his own campaign manager — he was the only person at his booth, which was small and filled with many campaign signs and a dry-erase board that said, “Darryl Stanton has been at the Fair talking with people about the issues for over 200 hours.” Stanton’s big and husky frame looks like it could belong to a bodybuilder, but the minute he opens his mouth he won’t stop talking about the issues regarding his campaign. From what he told me, he grew up in Washington D.C. and came over to Marshall, Minn., to work in the public education system, which he did for a long time. Now he’s a self-described entrepreneur and small business owner. Evidently, adequate education funding and small business rights are cornerstones of his platform.

Darryl Stanton

Judging from his campaign card, education runs in his blood. Part of it reads: “I am a proud graduate of K-college public education and my brother who was a dedicated school teacher died in his classroom while teaching his students.”

And while these political stances — plus an added disdain for the Iraq War, free trade agreements, and diminished labor rights — would lead one to paint Stanton as a liberal, it doesn’t change the fact that he spent a whole lot of time telling me about the need to correct wasted tax dollars. His position on the environment is one of personal responsibility; his campaign literature reads: “Let us do our part to stop global warming: 1) replace 3 frequently used light bulbs with compact fluorescent bulbs 2) keep your car tires properly inflated and check them monthly, and 3) change your car air filter. By taking these three easy steps will take out 1,350 pounds of carbon dioxide out of the air and put back in your pockets $1,100.” He also argues that the changes Americans made in their transportation habits helped lead to lowering gas costs from $4 a gallon in June to the $3.65 or so that they’re currently at.

Stanton’s biggest message of the day was to encourage people to vote in the primary on Sept. 9th. “Most of the people have been brainwashed by the Presidential race,” he said. “They think they only have to vote on Nov. 4th.” For those who consider their votes and opinions important, I would suggest taking Stanton’s advice.

Sure, Stanton’s an independent and yes, we can always cynically cite that tired, thoughtless, brainwash-inducing argument that voting for one is metaphorically equivalent to throwing your “voice” in the dumpster. I’ve always ascribed to the view that anyone who thinks that way has been intellectually, morally and perhaps spiritually raped - most likely by the Democratic Party - but that’s just one opinion.

After downing the bratwurst while listening to Stanton talk my ear off, I headed over to Al Franken’s booth, and was surprised to see the candidate actually there, shaking hands, smiling, and taking pictures with people. It turns out that’s all he wanted to do. When I went up to shake his hand and talk about the issues, he didn’t seem very interested. I tried to confirm whether or not he was still supporting an increase in the federal gas tax. He said he never did and that Norm Coleman was lying about him, then, in the middle of his explanation, he trailed off, turned around and silently stared at something else. A few seconds later, I tried to ask him when his next debate was, but he shook my hand again, probably thinking I was a new person, and ignored my question. At that point the awkwardness was too intense — I had to get out of there. How could such a witty, enjoyably obnoxious comedian turn into such a wooden alien? Why is he attempting to be such an unenthusiastic, mainstream politician? His political route has resulted in a constant lead in the polls by Coleman. Franken knew his run for office would lead to controversy which — as funny as it sounds — he could have capitalized on. After all, this is a state that gets easily tired with mainstream politics, as Paul Wellstone and Jesse Ventura proved.

Al Franken’s Booth

One thing’s for sure; Franken’s not using his god-given natural talent and is suffering from losing his edge, and perhaps, at worst, his personality. All this suppression and renunciation of comedy can’t be healthy. If he wins or loses in November is beside the point — by then his mind will probably be scrambled and shot.

I forgot to mention that I got his autograph in the brief moments we exchanged uncomfortable words. It reads: “Joey - Help!”

Tags: Al Franken, Darryl Stanton, MN State Fair