Vikes Aquire Barbaric DE
April 23rd, 2008
By Joey Peters
Sure, I could write about tonight’s big Pennsylvania primary win for Hillary, but goddamn it, we all knew it was going to happen. Nothing has changed; Obama is still ahead in the delegate count and has most of the Democratic super delegates at his fingertips. Besides, there are tons of primaries still ahead and more pressing news to be told.
After a week of speculation, the rumors are true: according to the Star Tribune, the Minnesota Vikings have acquired defensive end and human wrecking ball Jared Allen. As this YouTube clip of the now-former Kansas City defender knocking the shit out of Jaguars QB David Gerrard illustrates, this sonofabitch Allen means business.
But the drunk-drivin’, mullet-sportin’, No. 69-wearin’ mammoth comes with a price: the Vikes’ first-round draft pick and two of their third-round picks. That’s too much, if you ask me. Allen, best known for leading the NFL in sacks last season, will also become the highest-paid defender in NFL history, racking up around $74 million in a six-year contract. It’s certainly a calculated risk for the Vikes, one that’s pretty damn big.
But hell, at least all their offseason holes are now filled (assuming the old, antiquated and unreliable Gus Frerotte is acceptable as a backup QB). What excites me most is how Allen will be a pass rusher playing for last year’s worst passing defense in the NFL. Still, I predict that Madieu Williams, a new Vikings safety who used to play for Cincinnati, will play the biggest role in turning this one-dimensional rush defense into a more well-rounded threat on both the run and pass. We’ll see how things develop.
While next Fall will be a dramatic election season, its football season will probably show more favorable results. And for the record, U.S. politics are as testosterone-induced and barbaric (if not more so) as American football. I get the same unhealthy satisfaction from downing a six-pack and watching football as I do from following the political process.
Tags: Hillary Clinton, Jared Allen, Madieu Williams, Minnesota Vikings
