****DISCLAIMER*****: I am not calling Mitt Romney a homosexual. Nor do I have anything against homosexuals or fellatio in general. Romney just did terrible on Super Pooper Tuesday and I like shitty puns. Please do not send hate mail, or do.

It’s 1:00 a.m. and I feel like celebrating Romney dropping out of the race!!!!! WOOOOO!!!!!! Why am I awake writing this early?

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, whose real name is Willard by the way, “suspended” his bid for the White House Thursday after a terrible showing on Super Duper Tuesday’s caucuses and primaries. In a speech he said he’s suspending his campaign because of his love for America. Wow, this guy will say anything to kiss conservatives’ ass! Dropping out for the love of his party?? BAHHHH!!

I am not against republicans, but I wished this day would come! Romney is like a conservative Barbie Doll. He acts the way conservatives want him to act. He is the ultimate robot political panderer who will say and do whatever will get him votes, which didn’t even work in the end. What is encouraging is that this shows even though you have the $$$, you’re not always guaranteed the presidency.

On “Real Time with Bill Maher,” I heard Rolling Stone political writer Matt Taibbi say that when he saw Romney’s face up close, it was smooth like a cereal box. He had no pores!

What makes me want to start gouging my eyes out again is this editorial written by the online editor of the National Review. In it, Kathryn Lopez, who’s writing from the Conservative Political Action Conference which Romney spoke at, says:

“By the end of the speech, Romney, who won the presidential straw poll at this meeting of conservative activists last year, had well-positioned himself to be the frontrunner for the 2012 Republican nomination. And he knows it: Romney began his speech saying, ‘It’s great to be with you again. And I look forward to joining with you many more times in the future.’”

AHHHHHHH!!!!! NOOOO!! I can’t believe this. Romney needs to go back and try to double Guantanamo Bay again. Seriously, who says that?? I’m all for arresting terrorists. I’m even for the use of some “enhanced interrogation techniques,” as long as they don’t violate or abuse them. Fight fire with fire, right? I’m sure terrorists aren’t abiding by the Geneva Convention. But they are human too and deserve due process and a real trial.

Too bad he wasted $35 million of his personal money to finish in third place behind a senior citizen and a crazy religious zealot, who won’t fund abortions to mentally-challenged incest rape victims, even though federal law says state governments have to.

Willard, you had a good run. You were the front runner for a while, but somehow you blew it. How? I have no clue, but I’m glad you did. Have fun re-charging your batteries for 2012 when you lose again.

p.s. why won’t this you tube video embed? someone help me!!!!

Tags: caucus, eye witness, Mitt Romney, politics