The Wake

“What comes to mind when you think of the word Muslim?” Faisal Alam asks, speaking to the crowd at the Hubert H. Humphrey Cowles Auditorium. “Homophobic, terrorism, intolerant of other religions, Middle East, lack of women’s rights.” “OK, any good things?” Alam says jokingly.

He then explains that the largest populations of Muslims live in Indonesia, India, Bangladesh and Pakistan – none of which are in the Middle East and all of which have had a female head of state, unlike the United States. In fact only 12 percent of the entire Muslim population live in the Middle East, Alam points out.

“The United States tries to understand east versus west by making things black and white, but there is more gray in the Muslim world than black or white,” Alam says.

Alam was born in Germany and lived in Saudi Arabia and Pakistan before his parents, both from middle class families, moved to a small town in Connecticut. There were two mosques in his hometown but, like most of the Muslims in the United States, his parents feared that his religion would be lost to American ways. Alam spent 40 hours a week in school being “American” but during the weekends and at home he spoke no English and practiced his religion diligently. He was living two lives, conflicted by a split identity.

“It was my junior year and I had to make the decision to defy my parents and go to the prom or stand by my religious beliefs,” Alam says.

Alam chose Islam and started to pioneer the movement of Islam in Connecticut. His name became familiar on the East Coast and he became the “model” child within the Muslim community. Choosing Islam may have seemed like the most difficult decision of his life, but Alam’s allegiance to his religion would be tested again further down the road.

Alam attended college in Boston and continued to be a large supporter and public figure in spreading the Islamic religion through the East Coast. It was in college, after being engaged for six months, that Alam realized he was not only different because of his religion or his nationality. Alam felt different because he is gay.

To say that homosexuality is wrong in the Muslim community is the understatement of understatements. “Basically, it’s not an option, in fact it’s not even talked about,” Alam says.

Now as a supporter, model child and pioneer of Islam, Alam had to choose between his religion and his sexuality. For him, his religion was something he could not live without and his sexuality was something he couldn’t change.

“I was split between two identities, they co-existed but were separate.” After a mental breakdown in November of 1996, Alam realized he had to merge the two into one. His first mission was to find others who were facing the same dilemma.

Alam started an e-mail list for gay Muslims, and a number of people joined but were scared to voice their thoughts. For the first eight months there were no messages written. Even without admitting to being gay, Alam was asked to resign from every organization he chaired, just for being on the list. He was forced out of his community simply because he believed it was OK to be born homosexual. In 1998, the subscribers on the list met in person at what has become known as the First International Retreat for GLBT Muslims, held in Boston, Mass.

“We talked about everything,” Alam says. “We decided to formally make the organization Al-Fatiha, which means ‘beginning’ or ‘opening’.”

Al-Fatiha is now an international organization dedicated to Muslims who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, those questioning their sexual orientation or gender identity and their allies. The organization strives to provide a safe space and a forum for LGBTQ [is this really an abbreviation?] Muslims and their friends to address issues of common concern and share individual experiences. Today Al-Fatiha has 700 members in the U.S.with eight chapters in Atlanta, Los Angeles, New York City, San Diego, San Francisco, Toronto, Vancouver and Washington, D.C.

Alam closed with two quotes. The first was from Coretta Scott King, referring to her husband Martin Luther King, Jr. “We are all tied together in a single garment of destiny . . . I can never be what I ought to be until you are allowed to be what you ought to be.” She also said, “I’ve always felt that homophobic attitudes and policies were unjust and unworthy of a free society and must be opposed by all Americans who believe in democracy.” The other quote is from Ghandi, “Be the change you want to see in this world.”

Alam has certainly done everything he can to be the change that he wants to see in this world.