The Wake

Kristin O’Quinn knows what it is like to be stressed out. A senior majoring in human resources and development, O’Quinn tries to maintain a GPA above 3.0 and has made the dean’s list for the last three years every semester except one. O’Quinn is also the parent of a lively 3 -year-old boy.

Balancing school with family is a constant struggle for O’Quinn. Days start at 6:00 a.m. and do not wind down until 10 p.m. if O’Quinn can get her son to sleep on time.

“Time management is critical,” O’Quinn says.

Guilt is a constant factor in O’Quinn’s life, but when schoolwork gets in the way of spending time with her son, she reminds herself that she is doing something productive for herself and for her son.

“I have a breakdown once a semester, but then I just try to focus on one thing at a time,” O’Quinn says.

While O’Quinn and her fiancé were still both in college, it was difficult to balance classes and childcare. O’Quinn says she often let her fiancé go to class while she stayed home with their son.

This year has gotten easier financially because O’Quinn’s fiancé graduated and found a job quickly. While this eases things it is still difficult to make sure childcare is taken care of all the time. If her child is sick or if daycare isn’t available that day O’Quinn must stay at home or bring her child to class with her.

Most professors understand when O’Quinn tells them about her son and that he might have to attend classes with her sometimes. Other times professors are not sympathetic to student parents.

Susan Warfield is the program director for the Student Parent HELP (Higher Education for Low-Income People) Center, a university group that offers student parents a child-friendly place to hang out as well as to connect with other student parents. The Student Parent HELP Center helps students deal with problems like finding quality, affordable childcare as well as with any discrimination they may face on campus.

Warfield recalls an instance when one student approached a pregnant student and asked her how she could have been stupid enough to get pregnant.

Warfield believes there is no problem with a quiet baby or child sitting in on lecture. Warfield also says student parents are underrepresented on campus.

“There’s this myth that every student here is 18 and middle class,” Warfield says.

There is no official tally of how many student parents attend the university because it is illegal to ask a student if they have children on enrollment forms. This makes it hard for the HELP center to reach out to students who may need their help. Unofficial numbers have been collected through campus childcare centers.

The Como Community Child Care center on the St. Paul campus serves 23 student parents. The Commonwealth Terrace Child Care Center serves 60 students. The University Child Care Center, which is primarily geared towards serving faculty and graduate students, serves fewer than 10. The Student Parent HELP Center housed in General College, has over 400 students registered, both male and female.

Funding for the Como and Commonwealth daycares was almost cut in the spring of 2004 by the student fees committee. An outpouring of support from the student parent community saved it during public hearings; the daycare received funding and the resource remained on campus.

O’Quinn and Warfield still do not feel like the university does enough to support student parents. General College helps fund the Student Parent Help Center (even though the majority of the students they serve are enrolled in CLA), but the only financial aid the HELP center receives is from student fees.

For some student parents, pursuing a degree full time is not an option. Tessa Tritabaugh was 20 and a sophomore at Minnesota State University Mankato when she found out she was pregnant. Tritabaugh says that having a baby made her grow up very quickly.

“It was like bam, you’re an adult, you’re on your own,” says Tritabaugh.

Tritabaugh’s parents cut her off financially after she got pregnant.

After taking a year and a half off from school, Tritabaugh started going to school again on the weekends at The College of St. Catherine in St. Paul. Tritabaugh does not have the option of attending school full time because she needs the benefits that her full-time job offers. Even though she appreciates the weekend program at St. Catherine’s, it is sometimes frustrating to work through school slowly.

Even though Tritabaugh expected parenthood to be a challenge, she said she underestimated how difficult it would really be.

“I didn’t know it was going to be this hard,” Tritabaugh says.

Alone time is hard to come by and Tritabaugh takes some semesters off school so she can enjoy the weekends when her daughter, Mikayla, is with her father.

Both Tritabaugh and O’Quinn say they have learned a lot from parenthood. Tritabaugh says she does not take things for granted anymore and has become a lot less selfish.

O’Quinn has gone through similar changes in perspective.

“I can’t take life for granted,” O’Quinn says.

Realizing her potential is another benefit of parenting, O’Quinn says. O’Quinn thanks her son for helping her to become stronger, more centered, focused, goal-oriented and confident. By succeeding as a parent, O’Quinn says she felt that she could become whatever she wanted.