The Wake

I watch ESPN or any other channels showing sports when I see too many cartoon reruns. In these moments of boredom I wear down the TV, searching for snowboarding events, boxing matches or figure skating competitions. The buttons on the TV remain slightly depressed because of my indecisiveness; I frequently switch back and forth between two different sports. If the TV were alive it would hate me.I was a spectator who viewed all sports as nothing more than games that people play. No matter how much publicity the Super Bowl or any other sporting events received, I thought them no more important than sources of entertainment and easy ways for talented athletes to make lots of money. To me, only marketing advertisements and athletes truly seemed to benefit from sports with potential revenue as the …

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A tumultuous season of Gopher basketball finally concluded, leaving much more to be desired for next year. Coach Dan Monson resigned seven games into the season and left Jim Molinari to pick up the pieces of a struggling ball club. The team dealt with injuries, a transfer and mounting frustration. This group faced tall challenges all season and did the best they could with the talent they possessed. Jamal Abu-Shamala summed the season up as disappointing but added that it might help build character for next year. The most positive thing this team will take with it from this season is the experience it gained and the fact that everyone is returning next year.Dan Coleman, Spencer Tollackson, Lawrence McKenzie and Abu-Shamala will all be in Gopher uniforms again next fall. Coleman played solid ball all …

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Minnesota’s indoor lacrosse team, the Swarm, have looked for quality opportunities for the public to take notice of their achievements throughout their infancy. The team made the playoffs last year at 8-8 and lost their playoff game to the Buffalo Bandits by one goal. The games between the Bandits and Swarm have started to become a rivalry since the playoff loss the Swarm suffered last year.On March 4, the Swarm played the Bandits at home, looking to exact some revenge. What transpired on the field, though, seemed a replay of the playoff game with the Swarm losing by one goal again. The Swarm dug themselves an early hole and faced a 6-3 deficit after the first period. They fought valiantly to get back in the game, outscoring the Bandits in the third period, but failed …

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From the first kick to the final whistle” are words of wisdom every soccer coach has bestowed upon his players. It’s also the first line of text in the movie Zidane: A 21st Century Portrait, and an indication of things to come. Directed by Douglas Gordon and Philippe Parreno, this movie cites only one actor in its cast: Zinedine Zidane. He’s a man among boys on the pitch and a god among mortals in France. Though he’s Algerian by descent, the French love him enough that they would likely elect him president if he so desired. He led his nation to a World Cup Championship in 1998, with two goals in the final against Brazil. He’s been crowned the FIFA World Player of the Year three times, first in 1998, again in 2000 and finally …

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From a front corner of the balcony, I watched three men in black tube-top dresses and red stilettos walk across the stage. The women on stage were dressed in the same attire, but naturally, the men in women’s clothing caught my eye. A dancer since the age of 5, I have learned that modern dance choreographers always have a feeling to express, a narrative to tell or a point to make when creating a dance piece. Unfortunately, the purpose isn’t always easily understood by the audience. After 15 minutes of the University Dance Theater’s (UDT) Dance Revolutions (post guys-in-heels), I thought that it was going to be one of those shows where I continuously say, “I don’t get it,” which ultimately makes it less enjoyable. To be honest, I really had no idea what the …

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Herpes is spreading quickly across the state, and it seems possible that cage fighting will do the same very soon and be just as nasty.Thursday night at the Myth Nightclub, Elite Fighting X-treme celebrated its one-year anniversary the only way they know how: they hosted a jaw-dropping, tongue wagging, drooling spectacle of mixed martial art fighting along with strippers and ring girls dancing between matches.The crowd, sufficiently amped and drunk, enthusiastically cheered for every takedown, haymaker and arm-bar inside the octagon. The action was quick inside the cage with all but three fights lasting past the first round. The arena was peppered with yells of “KICK HIS ASS!!!” and incredulous reactions to the violence.Twelve matches took place that night with many memorable moments of stark reality and brutality. In one of the early matches, Rich …

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Every weekend all over the country, if you know where to look, you can find a motley assortment of warriors preparing for battle in brightly colored arenas. As the seconds count down, plans are made, equipment is checked and cleats are dug into the turf. When the horn blows, it’s high noon at the OK Corral. It’s Pearl Harbor, Rorke’s Drift, the Battle of the Bulge. In less than a minute, several thousand projectiles fill the air.Paintball, with over 9.8 million players around the globe, is the third largest extreme sport in the world behind in-line skating and skateboarding. Paintball players are stereotyped as camouflaged militia-wannabes, and while that is true for some, there is a completely different side to the game. Thousands of people participate in competitive paintball, played on small, spectator-friendly fields often …

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So the football analysts and pundits finally got what they needed in order to crown Peyton Manning the greatest quarterback of all-time. Yes, he still must win the Super Bowl, but as soon as he does the talk will begin.Manning finally decided to step up and play the game rather than whining about non-calls against his wide receivers. He led his team to victory like the quarterback we came to know during the regular season. The feat he accomplished should not go unheralded, because his team looked flat in the first half. Whatever somebody said in that locker room certainly made the Colts get their shit together quickly, because they came out like the team that ought to have shown up in all the previous playoff meetings against the Patriots.The Bears, on the other hand, …

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Throwing rocks down a sheet of ice may not seem exciting to most, but at the St. Paul Curling Club it’s all the rage.Joe “Splash” Cloutier explains that curling is a really friendly game. The loser usually buys the winner the first round after the match, and they talk about the game over a few drinks.Sitting at the bar upstairs, the rest of the group introduces themselves. There’s M.O., Blue, Big Al, Scott, a pitcher of beer and a bottle of whiskey.“Everyone has a nickname here,” says Blue aka John Carey. Everyone except Scott anyway, and they try to come up with a nickname on the spot, but nothing sticks, indicating why he’s never had a nickname.The club has the feel of a north woods cabin with fireplaces upstairs and downstairs, thick Minnesotan accents, wood …

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The blood in his mouth stuck to his teeth
like hot caramel, bubbling
with each heavy, humid breath.
Drying flesh turned to wax
over his fingertips in the
blaring moon’s siren.”Maybe I am the Jackal”
Squatting, he scooped up
a hand full of sand and
let the grains trickle
between his digits.
Smells like wet leaves
and blue sky, he thought.
Looking over the dunes,
the muses smiled.
The body of his lust
remained twitching in the sand
stinking with liquid morals.

Coach Glen Mason’s firing was a necessary move for the program after the embarrassing Insight Bowl loss against Texas Tech, but it put recruitment in jeopardy. The situation eerily resembles much of Mason’s tenure; as much success as there was, there were also failures.National signing day is February 7 and the problem of recruiting young talent is pronounced. Minnesota has never appeared as a prestigious destination for top recruits due to the weather and the prospect of playing in the worst stadium in college football. Minnesota made a quick decision to hire Tim Brewster to salvage the recruitment class.Little is known about Brewster outside of his accomplishments. He worked with Mack Brown at North Carolina and Texas, helping to attract recruits such as Vince Young. We know that Brewster will focus on luring in-state talent …

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Cooperstown is calling you and everyone else interested in seeing some of the greatest symbols of baseball history.The Minnesota History Center is hosting the “Baseball As America” exhibition displaying artifacts from the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum. The exhibit is on a nation-wide tour and currently in St. Paul until March 4.This is a great opportunity for any baseball enthusiast to experience Cooperstown without having to travel there. It features over 500 items of baseball history including the bats of Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire from the home run race of 1998, along with Jackie Robinson’s jersey, expensive baseball cards and the “wonder boy” bat from the movie, “The Natural.” In addition to the national artifacts, the exhibit contains memorabilia from the Minnesota Twins. Frank Viola’s hat from the 1987 World Series, Kirby …

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This fall, the Minnesota rugby team, which competes on the club level, tore through opponents. They ended their fall season 10-2. The two losses came against the Chicago Lions Men’s Club and the East Side Banshees. The loss to the East Side Banshees was a result of the U of M squad pulling its starters to rest for the Midwest Final Four the next weekend. At the Midwest Final Four, Minnesota beat Ohio State 47-0 before taking down Purdue in the championship game. At stake was a trip to nationals. The Wake had the opportunity to interview captain and treasurer, Peter Kobliska, as well as president of the rugby team, Andy Belling. Kobliska is a junior who was on the 2004-05 team that made it to nationals. Belling, currently a senior at the U, was …

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As off-field problems continue to come for the Cincinnati Bengals, Marvin Lewis has decided to hold the Bengals’ next week of practice at Stray Field. The field, usually littered with pop bottles, will be convenient for Chris Henry, Odell Thurman and Reggie McNeal.

Famous Hollywood actor Robin Williams denied a request to host a fundraising dinner for the Society for the Advancement of Evolution Research (SAER). Williams stated, “Because there will be other primates on hand that I might be confused with, I decided not to host the function.” Williams also went on to say that this will also give him more time to make horrible movies like Man of the Year and RV.