• City Pages has a Michelle Bachmann tracker app that tells you the very truthful statements made by our favorite Congresswoman throughout the years.
• In a more serious light, the Minnesota Daily media blog has some amazing photos from the Northside Tornado aftermath.
• Our local yarner HOTTEA is still hitting the cities hard. Back in March, MPLSArt did an expose on the now infamous guerilla street artist.
• MPLS.TV is looking for some bicycle enthusiasts (aka regular people) to create content for their new bike series.

I have less than 12 hours left in France. I am sitting, waiting, waiting, waiting. I am tired of waiting.

Let me finish telling you about my vacation. I finished my two week trip in London. I spent over three hours at the Tate Modern. It was wonderful, and a nice change from all of the Renaissance art that I have been seeing before. Still, I preferred the Tate Britain. There is an ambiguous line between the two, seeing that Tate Britain has a lot of modern art. But, whatever. They were both still great. I also discovered the wonderful world of Primark. Primark is a huge store with extremely cute clothes at reasonable (aka cheap) prices. This was more accessible to me than TopShop. Even though all I really wanted was to throw down all of my money on a 200 pound dress, I had to be realistic.

Brianna and I met up with a friend who was in London at the same time we were and we were supposed to go to a show. Our friend was really jazzed on seeing this DJ because this said DJ only played shows a few times a year, solely in Europe. As a joke he opened up a door that entered the club, but was not the main entrance. After he did that this huge six-foot-five neo-Nazi bouncer would not allow him into the club. Just his luck, right? So, the night ended with street drinking and some really great night food. The street bratwurst was pretty good, but always ask for more onions.

I returned (I made my 30 minute transfer in Paris and was super pumped about that) and then I had a week and a half of school and exams.

On the 21^st I headed to Paris to meet my mother who was arriving on the 22^nd. Brianna had a friend of a friend who we were meeting up with for his birthday party. He is a male model. He had a private room at an exclusive club for his party. The scary bouncer was turning everyone away, but by mentioning that we were there for the party we were let right in. That was really exciting. I wish I could spend 1000 euro on my birthday (and that was only the champagne and whiskey). But, again, I have to be realistic.

When my mother arrived we did a lot of tourist things in Paris. We went to the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, Musee d’Orsay, Versailles, Notre-Dame, Sainte Chapelle, and Sacré Cœur.

A few notes on some of these places:

1. The Mona Lisa is great, but go during the low season and get there early. I have never been pushed that much by grandmas wanting to get a picture of a painting. There were way too many people there, so that detracted from the experience. Also, taking a photo of a painting is kind of dumb, just buy a postcard – you will never be able to capture the painting properly.
2. Go to Versailles early. The Grand Trianon and Marie Antoinette’s Estate are not accessible after 3 PM. The gardens are incredible; definitely take some time to wander and explore. The palace itself takes at least 2-3 hours to go through. The audio guides are free, and sometimes really funny due to the random facts they give you. You will want to know more about the palace and the history after you are done, because some of the information is vague. Also, try to avoid the tour groups at all costs. You don’t want to be one of those people.
3. Sacré Cœur is worth the view of the entire city. The view is comparable, or better, than that from the Eiffel Tower. It says to be quiet, that photography is not allowed and to wear appropriate clothing. It says nothing against chugging a water bottle and using the bottle to take some holy water.

After Paris we went to Lyon for one night and we went up to the old city and looked at the view. We didn’t really know what to do, seeing that we were tired and not particularly interested in much else besides eating. I had some awesome tripe (intestines) and some great wine. That satisfied me with my Lyon experience.

For the end of our vacation we went to Cannes and laid on the beach for two days. I have a really funny tan line. The sea was so beautiful and it was the perfect ending to my petite tour of France. If you go there, be warned that you will see a lot of 50+ year old breasts.

Now I will continue my waiting game. I have to wake up at 5 AM to take the shuttle to the airport.

See you so soon, Minneapolis.

Au Revoir, Montpellier.

The City Pages has been on an update spree with information on Sunday’s tornado in North Minneapolis. Though we had two deaths attributed to the twister, our damage pales in comparison to Joplin, Missouri in which entire neighborhoods were obliterated as if struck by a tsunami. While right-wing media was playing up rumors of looting (aside from a few “lifted” bottles from Broadway Liquor), in fact local media has done a rare dignified portrayal. Here is KARE 11′s recent introspective to Northside.

Time for a better description of my time abroad.

Short note on Strasbourg:

Strasbourg was lovely and if you get a chance to go there, you should. There wasn’t much to do, but the city is very beautiful and very German. I know I’ve trash-talked France a lot, mostly Montpellier, but Strasbourg has a lot of German influence – which makes one question why it is even a part of France. Plus, my favorite sci-fi television drama, The X-Files, was on tv in English, which was awesome.The main cathedral that everyone goes to, I believe it was Notre Dame (they are all over France), was pretty, but churches generally look the same and it isn’t generally worth going into each and every one. I did end up in a church mass on Saturday night before Easter, but I left due to being tired and wanting to watch The X-Files.

Czech it out:

Prague was incredible in its own right. The history, the food, the buildings – all amazing. You can still notice some of the Communist influence, even though it has been years since Russia lost power over them. My favorite things in Prague leads to a two way tie between Kostnice (the church decorated with human bones) and the Mucha Museum. Kostnice was small, but the mass amounts of bones and the intricate designs that the artist made out of them creates interest, not replusion, when you realize that thousands of people are used to make the chandelier. The Mucha Museum holds a collection of works from the Czech artist who  wanted to create a sense of nationalism throughout his people. His paintings were breath-taking. His depiction of seasons, flowers, zodiac signs, et cetera, through women in gentle, beautiful, and allegorical. It is something that everyone should see.

My Berlin Era (2.5 days in):

Today is May Day. In Berlin, that means a lot of anarchists, a lot of drinking, a lot of dancing, and a lot of cops. April 30th is a huge party day. I was out until, I think, 7 am? Like a true Berliner, I went dancing at a club all night. The club we ended up at, after waiting in line for 30-40 minutes at the first, was called Rosi’s. When we arrived they were playing Devo’s “Gut Feeling,” then it was Iggy Pop “Lust for Life,” and then Blondie “Atomic.” I thought I was in for an incredible night, but those songs were probably the best of the night. They must have switched DJs or something, because there weren’t really that many hits after those three. The cross-fade system was pretty bad, with some awkward transistions and pauses, but it was fine. I mean, I stayed there until 6ish. Outside they were playing Russian electronic music. It was ridiculous and something that I probably would never actually listen to. At least it wasn’t French or German Rap. That might be the worst.

Anyways, I’ll update more when I get to London.

Auf Wiedersehen!

I’m in Prague right now, the keyboard is confusing. I am sufficiently hungover from Bukowski’s last night and content with my travels out to the bone church an hour away from Prague. I will update when I have more time. I will probably order a pizza and paint my nails tonight.

See ya.

Let me tell you all about my weekend in Brussels.

From what I had heard previously Brussels was supposed to be boring, because there really isn’t much to see. This is half true because there is the Grand Place, Manneken Pis, and Atomium and that is about it. But, the people are lovely and it is easy to get around because everyone speaks English, because the French don’t want to learn Flemish and the Dutch don’t want to learn French. But, if you make it to Brussels, and you should make it there sometime in your life, take some time to walk around and find the wonderful, beer-filled underbelly of the city.

First, get a paper cone of fries. You can find these stands everywhere. I was able to make an entire meal out of fries doused in curry ketchup – which was awesome. They are especially good to have right before you go to a bar, because it is a bad idea to drink on an empty stomach.

Then, head off to the Delirium Cafe. As I have said in a previous post, Delirium is my favorite beer. In the US you can go to the Bulldog and get a glass for around $8-9, but in Brussels it was only 3.50 euro. This fact alone strengthens my love for Brussels. This bar was lively, played great music, and had a huge selection of tap beer, e.g. about 2000 choices.

Another bar to not miss is Toone, a marionette bar. From what I gathered, there are marionette puppet shows here frequently, but I did not see one. It is down a semi-hidden alley way near the Grand Place, but it is worth finding. Sit outside and enjoy a Kwak or sit inside and be moderately haunted by all of the puppets looking down on you. Your choice.

Finally, go get a waffle from a street vendor and buy silly trinkets at the flea markets. I got a really ridiculous blown glass deer. I don’t know why. Only a mother could love it.

Brianna and I also spent 45 minutes in a miniatures store and I got a piggy bank the size of my fingernail. I don’t know why.

Two French photographers, clearly amused by the American need to name cities after the Old World languages, has released a beautifully horrific collection of new Detroit photos. The Motor City may still be alive but amputation will be unavoidable.

View TIME magazine’s archive.

Forgive my lack of updates since my trip to Paris (I forgot my camera, but I’ll be back), but these past few weeks have been pretty uneventful. I have watched five seasons of Frasier in the past month and now that Brianna’s chef boyfriend is gone we have lost most of our motivation that we had to make fancy meals. Hamburgers, ramen, and tacos every day now.

This doesn’t bother me in the least.

I am going to Brussels this weekend and  as I’ve said before, it is always good to get out of Montpellier. I would probably be the worst study abroad advocate, ever.  I’m glad I’m here and I get to see a lot of cool places, but I would urge everyone to choose any other program, any other city, besides Montpellier.

I am excited to see Atomium,  Manneken Pis, eat a waffle, drink beer, and whatever else there is to do in Brussels. My train leaves at 6:23 AM, so I will get a good solid five hours of sleep before I get to grudgingly get out of bed, fix myself a makeshift egg dish, and have a cup of coffee so I will function. On the train, that is another story… strange concoctions to make me dream.

I’ve said enough. Brussels will have at least one story to tell.

Okay, so those who know me know that in almost every situation that I get myself into things go from stupid to stupider. As usual, my weekend in Paris was linked from one stupid situation to the next. Yes, it was lovely and almost everything I thought it would be, but it was also filled with confusion, doubt, loneliness, and it was completely unorganized. Brianna’s boyfriend, Josh, is visiting from Minneapolis and it is his first time in Europe, so we chose to take a weekend trip to Paris. He had friends of friends who we were told we could stay with. Due to lack of internet and direction when we were in the city, we missed the messages of where to go, how to contact these people and a cool show that we were supposed to hit up on Saturday night and ended up staying in hotels. Alas, as my life goes, again (see blog post about Italy) we ended up checking into a hotel at 4 AM after getting completely obliterated and looking at sex shops in Montmartre all night. We opted out of going into the erotic museum, because what could we see there that we couldn’t see at SEXODROME across the street. (Talking about sex shops: the sex shop that I passed every day on my walk to the tram stop in Montpellier moved and now my morning entertainment is gone.) Montmartre is the place to be in Paris. At night you can find a bunch of delicious restaurants (I would give the name of the place I went, I forgot to write it down) and if you are loaded you can have dinner and a show at Moulin Rouge – which I wanted to do, but remember, I’m poor.

If you go to France, do the touristy thing and go up to the top of the Eiffel Tower. I felt like throwing up on my way up because the elevator made unsettling noises, but once we got up there it was incredible. Do it.

Sainte-Chapelle is possibly more beautiful than the Sistine Chapel. There are the most beautiful stained glass windows. See it.

At Notre Dame they have candles with the Virgin Mary on them. They are under a sign that says something along the lines of “Candles to take, donate what you can.” So, obviously, I threw three euro in the donation box and took a candle home. I am pretty sure I was supposed to light the candle there like everyone else did, but it doesn’t count as stealing if I donated money – right?

Let me tell you about what I ate:

Saturday:

Breakfast – Crepes with ham, onions, tomatoes and cheese with an espresso

Dinner – A thick cut of rump steak with a salad, French fries, and  a green peppercorn dipping sauce with a glass of red wine, a small chocolate cake with a creamy frosting-esque glaze to share

Sunday:

Breakfast – A panini with ham, cheese and tomatoes and a cup of coffee from Starbucks (shut up, it’s been a long time since I’ve had it)

Dinner at Pavé (near Hôtel de Ville) -  A salad with pears and blood sausage, cow cheek with a carrot stew, and a cup of espresso to finish.

Every day I was in Paris:

A LOT OF WINE.

Also, I forgot my camera and we only had a disposable. I will post pictures when they are developed.

I am going back to Paris at the end of May. I’ll say more then.

After my trip to Italy, everything in Montpellier is even more uneventful than before. Yesterday, my study abroad group went on what they enticingly titled “FOOD DAY”. This, of course, makes one believe that they will be fed all day and have a great time. This, as it turned out, was false.

We started the day off with bad weather in the forecast and getting up at 8:30 in the morning on a Saturday. There is, in my opinion, no reason to wake up on a weekend before noon. Unless there is a medical emergency I will be in bed as long as I damn well please.

After heading out on our bus we arrived at an actual olive garden somewhere outside of Montpellier. The woman talked and talked about how much she loved the olive trees, what varieties of trees were at the olive garden, how to make olive oil, et cetera, et cetera. She talked and talked for approximately two and a half hours.  I don’t even like olives. I had nothing in common with this woman and I couldn’t wait to get outta there.

As soon as we left it started to rain.

Next, we went to a chèvrerie, which is where they make cheese. It was basically a goat farm. This guy and the woman from the olive garden would get along famously. He loved his goats. He did not stop talking about his goats. A girl that worked there loved the goats even more, she was rolling around with them. In all of the fecal matter. It is fine to love animals and love your job, but still, cleanliness is next to godliness.

Finally, the good part comes along.

We went to a winery where after the guided tour of where the wine is kept and how it is made, which was fairly short considering the other two, we drank and became merry. The best way to get some college kids to buy your product is to get them all drunk first.

And, don’t be too offended when almost everyone steals one of your wine glasses.

Basically, the day would have been more fun if it didn’t suck so much.