The Wake

Let’s move to the local scene for this next post. For the first time since Gov. Tim Pawlenty has taken office in Minnesota, the state house and senate overrode one of his vetoes. Way to finally grow a pair state reps.

The bill that was vetoed and then overridden was a $6.6 billion transportation plan for the state which included the first gas tax increase in 20 years for Minnesota. All of the money will go to rebuilding and repairing roads and bridges in state. The gas tax will increase 5 1/2 cents by fall and go up to possibly 3 cents more. Those living in the seven-county Twins Cities area will also see a quarter-cent increase in their sales tax. Also, low-income families will receive a $25 …

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I’ve seem to have drifted off the news path on this so-called blog, and I’m sure the four of you who read this are pretty pretty pretty disappointed. So here’s some hardcore news from the past few days that will give some junkies a small fix.

Castros

First off, Fidel Castro resigned as president of Cuba last Tuesday 49 years after he obtained power in a revolution. This gives the UK and the US a chance to move Cuba toward democracy, though Washington said they will not lift the current trade embargo. That is exactly what the US should do. They should definitely invade another country that had an authoritarian government for years and try to enforce democracy there. That plan sounds like it will work for sure. After hearing the …

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Even though I did not watch any of the Oscars, nor did I see most of the best picture nominees, I feel like part of me won an Academy Award: Best state in the mother fucking union.

The Oscars winners were announced Sunday night and like usual ran way over time. The pomp and circumstance this year was hosted by Jon Stewart, who began the night, according to Reuters, by ripping on how depressing the plots of the best picture nominees were and how the writer’s strike almost caused the ceremony to be canceled, which would have made life much more tolerable this Sunday.

But the real story isn’t how Jon Stewart isn’t that funny without a writing staff, but that Minnesota kicked ass this year. Former City Pages blogger, Diablo Cody, won …

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You know that part in the beginning of The Matrix where that spermy-looking thing gets sucked out Neo’s body? Well, in about 20 years, that little guy could be inside all of us, according to a US inventor

I came across this scary story from the jolly old BBC that says “machines will achieve human-level artificial intelligence by 2029.” Leading US inventor Ray Kurzweil, the inventor of text-to-speech technology and the first keyboard synthesizer, told the BBC at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science in Boston, that humans will eventually have tiny robots in their brains to make them more intelligent. This made me wonder if the d-bags who constantly raise their hands in class, and show-off the fact they read the material, are actually robots …

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After two hardcore serious political blogs, I needed to decompress from pandering and caucuses. So here is a happy piece from La La land.

As I wind down from a long hard day of calling random people and making them take surveys they really don’t want any part of, I decide to watch re-runs of Family Guy on Adult Swim. Then I saw this Associated Press story about an end to the writer’s strike!!!! Oh my Flava Flav it’s finally over!

In the story, one of my favorite characters on my favorite show, Dwight from “The Office,” says that the cast will be back on the set on March 10 to shoot six more episodes!!! Hold on, I have to change my pants. In the meantime, enjoy this Dwight mixtape from season 2: …

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I realized something in my poly. sci. class today. I realized how close we were to a nuclear holocaust twice. In Nov. 1983, the Soviets were so trigger happy that after NATO performed a training exercise that simulated a nuclear attack called “Able Archer“, the reds believed the US was preparing to attack the USSR for reals, and the tension mirrored that of the Cuban Missile Crisis.

We also learned about “Mutual Assured Destruction,” where if either the US or the Soviets attacked one another, each had enough of a stockpile of nukes to retaliate and blow each other to smithereens. That might sound insane, but you know what? After attending the Republican Caucus on Tuesday, I wish this crazy scenario would have come to fruition.

The insanity of Super Tuesday …

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****DISCLAIMER*****: I am not calling Mitt Romney a homosexual. Nor do I have anything against homosexuals or fellatio in general. Romney just did terrible on Super Pooper Tuesday and I like shitty puns. Please do not send hate mail, or do.

It’s 1:00 a.m. and I feel like celebrating Romney dropping out of the race!!!!! WOOOOO!!!!!! Why am I awake writing this early?

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, whose real name is Willard by the way, “suspended” his bid for the White House Thursday after a terrible showing on Super Duper Tuesday’s caucuses and primaries. In a speech he said he’s suspending his campaign because of his love for America. Wow, this guy will say anything to kiss conservatives’ ass! Dropping out for the love of his party?? BAHHHH!!

I am …

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Welcome all to my blog, the Eye (Wake Symbol)-Witness. My name is Scott and I am the blog whisperer (HA! Alice, I knew I could fit this name somewhere on here). I will gently whisper sweet nothings about news from across the campus and the globe, so you will feel more informed and hopefully you’ll stop pissing and shitting on your master’s couch.

To quote the great Foreigner, “It feels like the first time.” But truly this is my second. Here’s a shameless plug for my old JOUR 3101 news blog. Go check it out B! So to make it easy for both you and I, I’ll be gentle this once. I’ll make sure it doesn’t hurt too bad, but down the road, you’ll grow to like it and you’ll …

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