There comes a time in every person’s life when they must appeal to a power greater than themselves.
In this particular case it was Susan Tillman.
The woman was on fire, she was pissed and it wouldn’t be a stretch to say she was this close to gouging Marnie’s eye out with a cuticle clipper. In all her melodramatic glory, Susie did not take disappointment well. Her short attention span, among that of her short temper, and her lack of patience with anything she didn’t gaze down on with a smile…all attributed to a diatribe which would make the most seasoned queen at the 90’s cringe.
“You crusty, puckered little cunt.”
“My cunt is not puckered,” Marnie said as she slipped past Susie and into the apartment. Then she frowned, wondering just what constituted a puckered cunt. “That’s a new one.”
“Yeah, it’s that natural reflex down there when you feel the threat of a forceful entry, which you are about to receive right now.”
“Are you going to rape me?”
“Close enough. You left me to have coffee, and cakes, and tea, and a full blown fucktard frat lunch with that weeaboo!”
“I had to –”
“You had to hypnotize yourself? Why would you want to do that? You promised, you made me get in contact with the weeaboo and then you left me there!”
Marnie sat down at the kitchen counter and swiveled in the chair. Reaching for a loose banana, she squinted her eyes at Susie. Yes, she had persuaded her to arrange a meeting; she had the intention of going to see that spectacle and fully enjoying the sight of such a creature.
Then came Julia and then came the podcast, which had wasted a good chunk of her day. The hypnotism didn’t work, that much was clear. Her inner voice hadn’t been brought out…anymore than it already was……and she didn’t feel like she needed to do anything at the moment. She wanted to rage on about it, but the energy just wasn’t there. She had no initial spark to pitch her into one of her usual bitchy tirades. As of now, she could care less about what she had forgotten to do. Susie, she wanted to say, I’m not sorry.
“I’m not sorry,” she said.
“Of course you’re not,” Susie said as her nostrils flared. “But you’re going to repent anyways.”
“Repent? Is this religious?”
“Shut up. You’re going to go see the Twilight movie with me and the weeaboo.”
“Twilight? Is that the one about emo vampires and Mary Sues, isn’t it?” Marnie asked, wondering where her usual sense of revulsion had gone.
“I asked the waptard to go see it with us.”
“She’s going?”
“Yes, she’s going. So you’re going to get it from both sides.”
“Am I going to be mouth-raped as well?”
“Don’t worry, I’m sure I can swing that,” Susie said.
Several hours later and a trip to the corner store, the two of them had in their hands: student IDs, cash, 7up bottles filled with a cocktail of soda, lime juice, and an insensible amount of gin. It was Susie’s idea. Judging from her reaction to her last meeting with the waptard (scratching her skin red around her shoulders and an unnatural revulsion to anything animated), she wanted the best ward from what she thought was sure to be a hellish evening.
“What does she look like?” Marnie asked as she surveyed the crowds. The walk to the student union was like any other. The sun and dipped down behind the glass buildings downtown, casting a spectered sorbet hue over the campus. She found herself smiling at it.
Contrary to what she believed of herself, she was rather excited to meet this weeaboo. She stood on the tips of her toes and craned her neck above heads to get a glimpse of something she wouldn’t recognize.
“Oh,” Susie sighed, “There she is.”
Marnie snapped her head in the direction Susie was pointing. Again, she expected the usual curl of her lip at the sight, but instead, she felt her body go light.
The weeaboo was nothing like she had seen before. She floated along the mint grass in her platform Mary Janes. And her thin legs cased in tights looked like a peppermint candy stick. She was all alight, channeling colors of the sorbet. Her hair was twindling strawberry blonde curls and her face looked like she had walked through a candy store. Shit, she looked like she had walked through a candy store with a frilly lolita fetish.
“I want to eat her,” Marnie said.
“What?” Susie said as she gripped Marnie’s arm.
“Just look at her, she’s so…cheerful.”
“Marnie, are you okay?” Susie said, shaking Marnie just the slightest.
She pranced up and hopped to a stop in front of them.
“Heya! I’m Sara, but please call me Sa-chan!” she said with bubbly popping enthusiasm.
“Sa-chan?” Marnie said.
“Hai! It’s a kind of nickname in Japanese!”
“Japanese?”
“Un!” she nodded with a sweet, cholesterol charged smile on her face. “What’s your name? I know Susie, but you’re new!”
“No shit,” Susie spat. Her eyelids were hanging low and digging into Sara, eh, Sa-chan…whatever.
Oblivious to any malicious intent, Sara kept on smiling.
“It’s Marnie.”
“Marnie! Susie and Marnie! Ou, your names are so kawaii! Hold my te, please. This is some serious unme!”
“What?” Marnie said, but honestly, she wasn’t really listening.
Sara linked arms with Marnie and Susie, flanking herself with them on either side. Marnie noticed a band of fabric on her head spilling ribbons and lace like freshly sliced guts. She wanted to crawl inside Sara’s hair and camp there for the winter. It looked so sweet and sugary warm with honey and all sorts of cutesy goodness.
“Don’t forget the fucking gin,” Susie hissed behind Sara’s back.
Marnie nodded, but she was much too taken in by the colors emanating from Sara.
“Let’s go, shall we?” Sara said.
“Yeah, Sa-chan,” Marnie said with a syrupy quality to her voice. Susie choked on an extra large swig of the soda-gin concoction.
Once inside the student union theater, they were seated much the same as they had walked in. It was truly a sight to behold. It was safe to say that 90% of the audience was freshman girls, the other 9% fat, middle aged women. The last 1% was Marnie, Susie, and Sara, which was…pretty self-explanatory. Susie was liberal with her drink; she was half done before the movie even started.
Alongside the many voices exclaiming EDWARD CULLEN 4EVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and REAL VAMPIRES SPARKLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a fairy vending out snacks noticed the gradual tone the audience was taking. He saw the need to intervene, and so he did.
He climbed on the stage and announced his dance major and began to prance about with his snack tray hanging from his shoulders. Apparently he needed no music. Susie began to gag, Marnie handed her the last bottle of drink. Susie shouted jeers at the stage and managed to squeeze in a few comments liking Twilight to the kind of stuffs she’d wipe her ass with. More than a few tweens and their middle-aged counterparts turned around and threw something. Susie threw stuff back.
Marnie took it all in with a smile.
“Do you like Twilight?” she asked Sara.
“Oh, tabun, not much. But Susie-chan asked me to come, so of course I agreed. I never miss a chansu to be with by tomodachis! Dai chansu!” she exclaimed as she nodded and clutched her fists together.
“Ah…sure,” Marnie said as the house lights came down. Turning her head towards the screen, she saw the fairy slink off stage and the movie came on.
It was nothing like Susie had described. Of course, it was complete shit, but Marnie was unconcerned with that. She felt Sara gently wrap her lace covered fingers around Marnie’s hand and squeeze.
She heard Susie sigh across the way.