After abstaining from coffee for a few weeks, yesterday’s caffeine craving was well overdue. So I got my sugary fix at Mapps over on West Bank and soon afterwards I knew it would be a good day. In addition to a wakeful buzz, though, I also experienced an enlightening moment. I was sitting down on plump leather couch cushions, reclined and relaxed, enjoying what was probably Putumayo Latin American Dance Party. There weren’t very many people at the coffee shop, so tuning into the background music was inevitable. Merry mandolins were trickling in synch with other acoustics against beating Conga and bongo drums. The vocalist sang away foreign verses that I couldn’t understand, but I hoped the serenade was chronicling some romantic fiasco.

In this midst, I contemplated more and more. Or could it be about dangerous coastal waters that sparkle in sunlight by day but claim lives by night? Maybe the man was surrounded by sand when he wrote the song – it had a beachy feel. Resonant patterns of the music guided me while intuition served my purpose with no words to help out.

It is easier to pay attention to lyrics instead of the multi-dimensional instrumental parts of music. Listening to and discerning between the different layers often takes more effort than we would be willing to dedicate. But when lyrics are incomprehensible, zooming out of a single tune is possible, and the piece can be heard more wholly. I used to listen to the Life Aquatic Soundtrack all the time – mainly to the tracks with the acoustic Portuguese David Bowie covers. That served a similar carefree purpose.

Seeing the complete picture in a song is important. Perception can be annoying – our brains don’t always pick out the most valuable senses to process. It’s pretty tough to take note of what is being sung and separate each instrumental voice at the same time, but with foreign lyrics, you realize how much more there is to vocalization than what the meanings imply. There is no need to sing along, only listen. Yes, just listen.

I am not qualified to review this album. This becomes clear almost immediately as I begin listening to it. It simply is not made for me. I know how to listen to death metal, I know how to listen to rock and roll, I know how to listen to hip-hop and I know how to listen to post-rock, but while I listen to Antony and the Johnsons it makes me tense how vocal-centric the whole thing is. I think, “Where is the drumbeat? When are the instrumentals going to do something interesting? Where is the rhythm?” Which if that kind of stuff makes you uncomfortable while listening to this record, clearly you don’t know how to listen to this kind of music. Because it’s all about Antony’s voice.

Which brings me to the next reason why I probably shouldn’t be reviewing this: I fucking hate Antony’s voice. I hate the tone and tenor of it, I hate its smoothness and how he always sounds a little too low, how his voice is always arcing down even when ascending a scale. And I really really fucking hate how he over-vibratoes everything. I’ve hated his voice since the first time I heard it on a Current 93 album (which to be honest, the only Current 93 song I like is the one by Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy).

And not only that, but I hate his lyrics, how everything is kissing everything else while inanimate objects cry.

To a certain extent, I buy into the idea that good art stems from an understanding of the listener’s expectations. What a good artist does is satisfy or defy those expectations, generally a bit of both, and to do either he must understand them. Being a good critic, then, requires understanding of those expectations as well, because otherwise you can’t tell if the artist has done a good job, you can’t even really tell what he’s doing at all. And that’s the position I’m in: the bitching above is not informed criticism of a sub-par work of art, it’s a manifestation of the uncomfortability and frustration brought on by my engagement with an object of art that is outside the realm of my knowledge.

But people who get this sort of music seem to be going pretty nuts about this album, so if you’re into mellow and somber melodic vocalizings, maybe give it a spin. Me, I’ll stick to music that’s about guitar and beats.

How to know exactly what this album sounds like without listening to any of it:

Band named after a Gorguts album.
Fancy-sounding science-word album title.
Song titles all about outer-space stuff.
Fretless bass.
Ex-members of Necrophagist.

Boom. Reviewed.

I got all excited about that last little bit of information, but really all it means is that there is flawless shredding on this record. The stuff that makes Necrophagist such a standout, their neo-classical melodicism and listenably technical songwriting, that’s all Muhammed Suiçmez.

Speaking of which, when is that band’s new album coming out? I bet it’ll be better than this one. Not that Obscura is bad, they’re undeniably solid. Just they’re about the least progressive “prog-death” band I’ve ever heard. Nothing will surprise you here if you’ve ever heard Gorguts or Death or Cynic.

So I guess if you’re nuts about prog-death, you should probably listen to this record. But I doubt that applies to many of you reading this.

Check this out: I just brought up a band you’ve probably never heard of, just to let you know that it’s mediocre. What a delightful service I’ve done for you.

Vitesse. French for “speed”. Who remembers Vitesse? The Chicago duo comprised of Joshua Klein and Hewson Chen? After taking a music composition course together at the University of Chicago, Klein and Chen released four wondrous indie synth-pop albums and then seemingly disappeared. The collaboration between the two became difficult; Klein (an editor for satirical magazine, The Onion) would visit Chen (a law student at Vanderbilt University) over weekends to collaborate and record music together. The process, despite its successes, couldn’t sustain itself as the two found their musical aspirations and relative geography diverging. It has been several years since Vitesse’s last release so I sought to find what the two artists are working on today.

Chen started a project with his girlfriend and Vitesse-contributor Celeste Alexander called “Fiber Study”. The duo found it difficult to produce their sound live so with the help of friends around NYC, Chen and Alexander (now married) formed “The New Lines”. The sound is, not surprisingly, quite Vitesse-esque; it’s a full-band effort of Vitesse complimented with the complexity and disarray of NYC.

The New Lines play a limited number shows and semi-frequently update their Myspace with what sounds like basement compilations of a group playing at its own leisure. This exclusivity is explained by the world of day jobs; Hewson Chen is now an Associate at Powley & Gibson, P.C. law firm. Hewson’s attorney bio at Powley & Gibson’s website states that he has “handled trademark and copyright matters concerning the publishing and music industry” but mentions nothing of his previous success in the indie-synthpop band Vitesse. Regardless, The New Lines aspire to a release something outside of their 96kbps Myspace-streamed songs. Until then, I’m going to continuing collecting via file2hd.com.

As Hewson Chen is experimenting with unconventional time signatures and other ostentatious efforts in Brooklyn, Joshua Klein is remaining elusive. In a desperate Google search of the Facebook website I found a Josh Klein who claimed to have graduated from the University of Chicago. I created a Facebook account and sent a message. Two weeks later I received a reply validating my guess (I use the term validate loosely here — it’s the internet). I was told that he was not currently working on any musical projects but that he was open to the possibility of one in the future. Hope.

But what does this say about the free time of a New York Intellecutal Property Attorney and a Midwestern newspaper Editor? Or is it about efficient use of time? Individual drive? Too many variables.

myspace.com/thenewlines
myspace.com/fiberstudy

Unfortunately, my interview with Toki Wright yielded far more points of interest than my 500 word limit would allow. Not wanting to just lose all the great things we talked about, I decided to post the rest of the interview here. Enjoy!

Toki Wright on Obama:

“[The economic crisis] has always been there in the urban community, and now its an issue for the entire country to have to deal with. Food shortages, the prison system, violence… Unless these conversations happen, unless we work together as people, we can’t expect anything to change. The good thing about this past election is, whatever side of the issue you were on, people were speaking up. I’m a Barack Obama supporter. I wasn’t initially; I wasn’t an anybody supporter. I’m always a skeptic when it comes to any politician because to be a politician, you have to be crafty, you have to be a good liar. That’s where the question of ethics comes in. Do you appeal to whatever will get you elected, or do you stick to your guns and have your own opinion? I came around [to Obama] probably during the primaries, probably right before Iowa. I saw him as somebody that knew how to speak to different crowds of people and actually take their opinion into consideration.

The youth are interested in politics, people of color are interested in politics, women are interested in politics when they have representation. When you feel like you’re not going to be truly represented either way, that’s when people get apathetic. When Bush gets a second term and you go out there and work your ass off to try to prevent that, you see in the end somebody’s gonna cheat anyway. This time it proved, at least, that if you really believe in something, it can actually happen. The fact that he brought people together and the fact that he was open-ended to all these different opinions doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have a strong opinion. He has a cool head, especially being an African-American going through this race and hearing the things people were saying about him. It’s really cold-hearted. He has to be a level-headed person to take on all the crap he’s gonna get, just being from where he’s from, looking the way he does, and even having the education that he has. But that’s the positives of having Bush in office and having the real polar opposite is that real comments come out. Bush in office made people go ‘This is horrible, this is really not how I wanna live’. I like the fact that the economy did come up because it would have been really hard for him to win.”

On how his experience comes into his music:

“I like to have a descriptive one on one conversation and connect with people on some level, even those who don’t know my experience or have dealt with it first hand they can understand where I’m coming from and try to relate to me on a human level. I was raised Buddhist so my whole outlook on life is different form a lot of my friends. I tended to stand out all throughout my life, so its like my attitude as far as eye for an eye or just violence in general, towards self-preservation, towards law, fortune, and faith, have been really open. That’s the way I was taught, to take somebody’s opinion, take it into consideration, and turn around and have your opinion. Sometimes it comes out contradicting itself, which is fine. What goes up must go down. ”

On mainstream rap radio:

“I’m battling this whole notion that, as a black hip-hop artist, there’s a box. You have to come from a certain set of circumstances to be acceptable. That’s one of the great things about Barack Obama. He wasn’t even considered black a year ago. Who cares where Al Green is from? Who cares where Guns ‘N Roses went to high school? Does the shit bang? As a hip-hop artist, you’re always faced with ‘am i hard enough’ even if you decide to be totally opposite that. Its a reaction to the fact that you have to be hard as a hip-hopper. That’s what trips me out about the radio; I call it ‘urban pop’. Its the information age. We’re inundated with information, sometimes you just want somethin’ simple. You see how hip-hop has progressed to really basic, short words… You see that in the dancehall and reggae scene, there’s a new song every day, nobody can really make any money! You can be hot this week and trash next week.

I understand all music, I grew up going to parties, school dances… Havin’ rugged hip hop music in the car. The problem is there’s not enough variety. I can’t even have an opinion on what I wanna hear on the radio. When somebody breaks through on a commercial level and says something of importance, with style, like Lil Wayne or Jay Z, Nas, Common, Talib Kweli, even E-40, just the fact that he can still be creative [after all these years]. …I like T-Pain. But I like T-Pain doin’ T-Pain, I don’t wanna hear nobody else doin’ T-Pain. …Some things people are gonna look back on and go.. Oh, maybe that wasn’t hot… What were we thinking? It’s good to have your timeless music. I go for trying to make music that’s gonna last more than a couple months.”

On the government:

“My opinion on government is that the government is a mechanism, its a bunch of written laws built to maintain this mechanism. You do something, here’s the reaction to it. You spend money, this is how the market reflects it. But inside of those machines, you have humans, you have heart. You can’t give a machine a heart, but you can get the people within it to try and redirect it. So, now its time for somebody who feels like they don’t have an opinion at all to affect the people who run the machines. Hopefully my music has some sort of effect on the heart of the people.”

On his dual roles as artist and community activist:

“I like to say what I feel. Being an activist, in a community role, you’re a little bit more restrained. There’s a time and place. When you’re performing, you’ve got a 30 to 45 minute box, where everybody’s looking at you, you can say whatever you feel. You can have an opinion one place, and say, here’s to refute that opinion. When you’re in the community and there’s the livelihood of others at stake, you have to be a lot more cautious. I’ve been trying more so now a days to keep things more separate. I try to be helpful in the community, but a big part of me just wants to be an artist. The artist has a role. In some communities, art is just a way of life. My work, if it has a positive affect on the community, is that not community work? What would the 60s be without radical music? What would a wedding be without wedding music? What would the holidays be without holiday music? Its important. That is community work. Community is about bringing people together and dealing with issues, and if you can do that in a song, be the best damn songwriter you can.

I think I spread myself thin sometimes, trying to be everything for every body. If I can just make great music first, that’s my truest passion. Doin’ work in my community is natural. That’s what I have to do. I have no choice but to do it. But if I start to think I need to be a community musician, if I look at it like that, its too big for your mind to wrap itself around. I’m just gonna make music, it doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop. Sometimes I get typecast just as this community person, which I am, but I’ve done a lot on the music and artist front that I need to shine light on all the things I’ve done musically.”

On touring with Brother Ali:

“Initially when you go out with an artist that’s more established and people don’t know you, every day is a talent show. People are already [shrugs shoulders] before you even say anything. I had a lot of training in that growing up, especially in the black community. You go to a show, people will let you know before you rap ‘you whack!’ Being on tour like that has taught me how to talk to different crowds of people. I started off hosting shows, I went from hosting to doing two fifteen minute segments, to having my own set. I learned there’s certain things you cant do in 15 minutes. People cant really get to know you in a couple songs. But you better damn well try your hardest. I’ve been performing for a long time, way before I even knew who Rhymesayers was. I remember The C.O.R.E. [Toki's group with rapper A.D.] did a show at a kindergarten class in Woodbury like 8 years ago, and I was like, where the hell am I? How did I get here? Little kids in the front jumping up and down, their parents in the back with their arms crossed, like ‘what the hell you teaching the kids?’ So there’s all these little training grounds. I’m gonna work my ass off. I don’t want nobody just giving me opportunity. I want you to see my work ethic. I’m not gonna give up. I want people to know that when you come see me, I’m sweatin’ my ass off, because I really believe in what I’m doin’. I want you to want it. The veins are poppin’ outta my neck cuz this is comin’ from my soul. I don’t mind touching people, I like to let you know I’m real; this is not a story, this is not imaginary, this is my experience and my experience is real. Often times we have different communities of people that only cross at certain points. If i have a chance to cross in front of a group of people that has no idea what my experience and what my life is, I want you to know I’m here, I’m alive, what I’m talking about is real, this is reality.”

On conscious rap and acting hard:

“What is consciousness? If you’re truly conscious of your surroundings, you’ll realize that people don’t like being preached to. I don’t want you telling me whats wrong about me all the time. In order for us to move forward, I need to feel like we have some sort of relationship. I don’t want some person that walks down off a pedestal and says ‘you guys gotta get your life together’. I feel like the traditional ‘conscious’ artists have a tough time dealing with themselves and their own personal issues of how they need to present themselves, how they can be accepted. I listen to some of everything, I do some of everything. I deal with my own demons and contradictions, all that stuff. It is what it is. I like a good story. I don’t wanna be a pimp, [but] I like a good Too $hort story about bein’ a pimp. If somebody wants to tell a story about violence, whats really goin’ on, yeah, tell me. I’m not really into glorifying it for no reason. Life gives you certain circumstances where you have to be hard; [but] the nature of people, as fans or as artists, we think you have to be all of one thing. Just tough, just hard, I’m hard when I’m eating my cereal, I’m hard when I’m takin’ a shower. Sometimes I’m just into people just sayin’ some fresh shit. At the same time, sometimes I don’t want you to know me. Sometimes all I want you to know is that I will whoop your ass. [laughs] In certain situations, I don’t want you to break that wall. I just want you to dance, I just want you to party. I’m doin’ my job up here so that you guys have fun and we’ll leave it at that.”

On doing shows around the world:

“I did a show in Birmingham, Alabama in this little hillbilly bar. You know, I’ve never heard a whole lot of polite things about being black in Alabama. I went in, did the show, people were gettin’ into it, small crowd maybe about 100 people, there was just love. It was about the music. I’m like, I like Birmingham! This is a good city! It goes back to being able to make a connection, just making good music. I was doin’ this show in Uganda once… African b-boys goin’ nuts, crowd is wildin’ out… Wall to wall packed around, performing with a cordless mic in a circle, I’m just strollin’ around, this kid from Minnesota, goin’ across the water and rappin’ in the motherland… This is kinda fresh right now! I can’t say that, cuz I’m a rapper and I gotta act tough. There’s a certain part of being an artist where you have to tell your story. I’ve done some dope things; if i don’t tell people, its like they don’t exist, to the rest of the world except myself. I’ve done a lot of stuff, I come home and just kind of melt back into my regular life. Play in front of 10,000 people one day, then come home and take out my trash. But in the rap world I want people to actually know. That goes to, who am i making music for? Am I making it for myself? Otherwise I’m just another dude. I’m never one of those people that thinks that just because I rap, people have to care. Why be interested in me when I got ten rappers on my block who think they’re the greatest too? My answer to that is, they’re not me. [laugh]”

Don’t forget to check out Mr. Wright at the Dinkytowner on Saturday, December 27!

Bruce Campbell made this movie one time called Evil Dead. Enough people watched it to warrant two more progressively ridiculous sequels, Evil Dead 2 and The Army of Darkness. The dude who directed them went on to direct the Spiderman film franchise. The dude named Bruce Campbell went on to play Bruce Campbell in the new film “My Name Is Bruce”.

Bruce’s character Ash from the Evil Dead series holds a special place in the hearts of nerds everywhere, special enough for Campbell to have continued to have some sort of a career in film. He has since appeared in movies like Bubba Ho-Tep, where he played Elvis, and the television program “Jack of All Trades”, where he played a 19th century American spy out to battle Napoleon. He’s also written books, including If Chins Could Kill and Make Love! The Bruce Campbell Way. All this being said, even if you’ve never seen a Bruce Campbell movie, you maybe have an idea of what he’s all about. The actor is a B-movie favorite for his roles in various cult classics, and his fame therein has culminated in a movie where he plays himself battling ancient Chinese warrior gods, premiering at the Lagoon this weekend.

I am not a proactive member of the elite press and have thus not seen this picture. However, I believe I know pretty much what the movie is about. You’ll probably like it best if you already like Campbell; in fact, I’ll bet that’ll be a prerequisite for even sitting through the whole thing. It doesn’t look terrible, and who knows? It could go any number of directions. I am a tenuous fan of these sorts of self-aware low-budget slapstick horror films, and I certainly have enjoyed much of Campbell’s work. Still, projects such as these sit as rather iffy with me as they tend to rely quite a bit on the actor’s recognition and invented persona than they do on quality scriptwriting or clever moviemaking. It appears to be a movie which will be slightly amusing and not really much more than that.

I have been wrong before, so keep in mind I haven’t actually seen this yet. Besides, you’ll probably want to go see this this weekend anyway, as Bruce Campbell himself will appear at all screenings of his new film to introduce the picture and answer questions afterwards. The man is a very funny and charming personality and his appearance at these screenings proves his devotion to fans. This is, after all, a movie strictly for the fans, and it is certainly gratifying to see the man giving something to his devoted following.

Join Campbell at the Lagoon Theater at any one of their screenings this weekend for a chance to meet the cleft man himself and take in his latest offering to the world of schlock cinema!

My Name Is Bruce premiere with introduction and Q&A from star Bruce Campbell
Lagoon Theater, 1320 Lagoon Ave
Showings at 7, 9 and midnight, Friday, Saturday and Sunday; Campbell will be at all screenings

Hello all. Hope you had a good break. Mine was decent enough, filled much more with mashed potatoes than with any sort of cultural writings. But now it’s back to work, so here’s a bunch of things that are going on soon:

There was quite an influx of bad business going on when the Republic National Convention stormed our humble little city, not the least of which include the 18 felony cases stemming from the protests and the persecution of the RNC 8 under the Patriot Act. The lead prosecutor in the felony cases is Susan Gaertner, who is holding a fundraiser for her 2010 DFL nomination at the Minneapolis Club. Friends of the RNC 8 and CRASS decided to put together an event to confront Gaernter and demand she drop the charges against protesters. So, in short, come on down to 2nd Ave and 8th St for a dance party and rally in support of the RNC 8 and those charged with crimes for protesting! There’s nothing like a confrontational dance party with political convictions. CRASS (Community RNC Arrestee Support Structure) says invites “you & your loudest and dancing-est friends!”, and says to “bring signs & noisemakers, dress warmly, and be ready to get down!” Go get your groove on and feel active at the same time. As the saying goes, No Justice No Peace, so go give Gaertner a good old fashioned lack of peace this Tuesday.

No Peace For Susan Gaertner – Rally and Dance Party
Tuesday, December 2
Outside the Minneapolis Club on the corner of 2nd Ave S and 8th St
4:30 PM

This Thursday, Stella are bringing their brand of oddball comedy to First Avenue. Stella consists of Michael Ian Black, David Wain and Michael Showalter, who are a much more insane whole than the sum of their parts. Individually, each member of Stella has been involved in some of the more inspired bouts of recent comedy, from comedy albums like Black’s I Am A Wonderful Man, Showalter’s online show The Michael Showalter Showalter, and David Wain’s writing for films like Role Models and The Ten. As a troupe, their collective energy is simply startling. Described as “dumb comedy dressed up in a suit”, the trio had a short lived series on Comedy Central (see below) in which a series of absurd events happened in such a way that audiences felt compelled to laugh. There’s really no other way to explain it other than that it is unrelentingly bizarre and takes pride in its own ridiculousness. How in god damn these boys manage to keep a straight face through all this wackiness is beyond me. Check them out live on stage and enjoy the madness.

Stella Live – Michael Ian Black, David Wain, Michael Showalter
First Avenue Mainroom, 701 1st Ave N
Thursday, December 4
$20/$22, 18+, 7PM

If you don’t know about Doomtree yet, you’ve not been paying much attention, as this group of marauding young hip-hop innovators have been killing things in this town for quite some time now. This Saturday is the 4th annual Doomtree Blowout, the collective’s giant showcase of their crew and how incredibly awesome they all are. MCs Sims, P.O.S., Dessa, Mike Mictlan and Cecil Otter join DJs/producers Paper Tiger, MK Larada, Turbo Nemesis and Lazerbeak to create the powerful rap unit known as Doomtree, and these Blowouts have stood as one of the better music events of the year for the past three years running. Each one has been progressively more impressive, and the crew always manages to pull out all the stops and bring an onslaught of surprises and powerful performances. Expect amazing music and lively stage presences, but other than that, anything can happen. Doomtree is celebrating with the release of their brand new DVD, with live footage, promo videos, a documentary, and a new full-length False Hopes albums with songs from every member. Also, Dessa Darling will be selling copies of her new book of writings, Spiral Bound, for those who dig on words in a less vocalized format. The Blowout is not to be missed, so don’t sleep! Tickets have been known to sell out, so grab yours soon.

Doomtree Blowout IV
First Avenue Mainroom, 701 1st Ave N
Saturday, December 6
$10/$12, 18+, 6PM

Go have some fun, now.

Last night, I caught the band Dub Trio at the Varsity Theater. I don’t wish to wreck any reps here, but Dub Trio have a profound fondness for Celine Dion and listen to her Canadian warbles backstage to prepare for shows. Take that however you will, but that is the case.

Their sound is far from that of the pop diva, but I was not actually terribly surprised by the band’s fondness. Dub Trio is indeed a trio who perform dub music, of sorts, but the amount of sounds stuffed into the band’s repertoire is such that there could be some Titanic soundtrack stuck way in there. A quick description of the group would be “dub meets metal”, and that’s accurate enough to prepare listeners for what they’re getting into. The three white Brooklynites have a deft command of dub style and do their name justice. But this grasp of Jamaican roots music is filtered through a plethora of other styles, from stoner metal to hardcore punk to Explosions In The Sky-styled post-rock to Slayer thrash to… well, you probably get the idea.

Actually, the only way to truly get the idea is to hear the group. It’s one thing to say that they fuse a great number of styles, but their method is one that defies easy categorization. Songs like “Casting Out The Nines” are pretty heavily dub-influenced, downplaying heavy guitar in favor of deep bass and echo effects, but upon hearing the distorted rock megablast “Not For Nothing”, you’ll start to see the range the group has. Dub Trio’s strength is in how fluid they are with the multiple styles they incorporate. A lesser band attempting to create a dub/metal hybrid would simply play open chords on the offbeat and leave it at that. The Trio have a real handle on the core ideas of dub and are able to embed them into their heavy guitar-driven sound rather seamlessly.

This particular set was quite heavy, not to mention loud. Each song was a Molotov cocktail of musical ideas which exploded into the audience with massive riffs and crunchy distortion. Those not paying close attention might have missed all that was going on underneath the onslaught of metal coming from the stage. Often times the Trio would hit you with a heavy bout of guitar only to abruptly remove it and shift the focus to the bass and drums as echos faded the heavy portion away. Each song kept me on my toes, not sure what to expect but ready for anything. I wonder what King Tubby (the band’s top friend on MySpace) would’ve thought of these guys: They seem too loud and rock-infused for dubheads, seemingly aimed to bring dub to metalheads rather than the other way around. All the songs were instrumentals; the band’s only vocal tracks are on album with fellow Ipecac artist Mike Patton, who usurped the band for his 2006 Peeping Tom project. If that doesn’t clue you in to the band’s grasp of varying styles, note that all three are seasoned studio musicians who’ve worked with a wide variety of artists: Guitarist DP Holmes has appeared on Mos Def and Common albums, bassist Stu Brooks has recorded with 50 Cent, 2Pac, Slick Rick and Tony Yayo, and Joe Tomino was the touring drummer with The Fugees. And they all like to play stoner metal too. It makes sense that these guys would create a project with so many influences that manages to remain justifiably headbang quality. Few groups I’ve ever seen so skillfully string together genres like this, and their solid performance at the Varsity proved their powerful command of musical languages.

Openers Hardcore Crayons are a local ska group, which reminded me of high school a little more than I was comfortable with. There are some hardcore and metal influences in there, which are for more interesting to me than the ska elements. Their set was heavier than their MySpace initially led me to believe, with distortion far heavier than that of your average ska band. They reminded me somewhat of bands like The Plastic Constellations, ie a high school band that stayed together and continued on in the same vein, progressing as they went but still sounding very high school. As far as ska groups go, there was a lot more innovation in this than many other groups I’ve seen. Skimmed down to just guitar, bass and drums, there was no obnoxious horn solo to sit through, just lyrics about cats and tacos.

Marvelle, the first opening act, seemed very well suited to the ambiance of the Varsity Theater. The baroque-rock style fit beautifully among the plush chairs and dim lights. The band consists of violin, bass, drums and live art, and brought as heavy a sound as anything else that night. I remain quite impressed with the painter, beset with the task of completing a painting by the time the set is over. Her colorful landscape painting was thrown onto canvas as the haunting sounds of violin and heavy bass riffs churned underneath. You can read my full review of the band here, because I don’t feel like writing much else.

As December approaches, it’s getting to Christmas special season. Last night I went to Bryant Lake Bowl to attend one of the most infamous Christmas specials of all time, the Star Wars Holiday Special. Technically, this is not a Christmas special, as it takes place a long time ago in a galaxy without a Jesus or a Santa Claus. This is a “Life Day” special, centering on the sacred Wookie Christmas equivalent which, from what I could tell, involves nothing other than being in a house and turning on devices. Oh, and dressing in robes and walking into the sun while singing. Uh, yeah. But this holiday is revered in Wookie culture, and the plot revolves around the intrepid quest to get Chewie back to his home planet in time for Life Day.

If you have never seen or heard of this film before, it is because no one wanted it to surface. This is, and I say this with little hesitation, the worst thing I have ever seen in my life. The special originally aired 30 years ago and has never seen release or been re-aired since. Rumor has it George Lucas did everything in his power to prevent the special from ever being seen again, and it’s understandable why. Having a certain propensity and even enjoyment of bad movies, I went to the screening last night expecting a low-budget travesty which would be so bad it’s funny. I’ve seen a good number of classic bad movies, from Manos: Hands of Fate to Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, and felt prepared for some unintentionally hilarious footage from this much-hyped cult classic. I was wrong. I did not respect just how terrible this movie was.

The opening sequence depicts Chewbacca’s family back on his home planet, awaiting his arrival for Life Day. The family are all creepy grunting squats who do not deserve as many close-ups as they receive. Chewbacca’s son Lumpy (yes, yes, I know) is an especially frightening hirsute imp who flits about making nightmarish grunts. After being in shock for a good ten minutes about what I was seeing, I began to realize that for these past ten minutes there had been no dialogue other than grunts and flailing pantomime. What in the hell is this?

And it only proceeded to get worse. All the original characters were there, with Harrison Ford putting in little to no effort, Carrie Fisher singing the theme song, and Mark Hammil looking like a coked-out Ken doll. The special was basically a bunch of different scenes which revolved, all painfully tangentially, around the central plot of Chewie’s return home. A rasher of guest stars made appearances, everyone from Jefferson Starship to Bea Arthur. Harvey Korman’s odd turn as a TV chef in blackface-Aunt-Jemimia-alien drag was… interesting… Diahann Carroll as the Wookie fantasy pleasure-machine clued me into something odd about the whole piece: How insanely sexual it all was. I was expecting this to be bad and have plenty of moment’s of unintentional hilarity, but with a scene of Diahann Carroll as the “holographic Wow” (“I am found in your eyes only eyes only – I am in your mind as you create me. Ohhh yes… I can feel my creation… Oh… oh… we are excited, aren’t we?”) singing in space as Chewie’s grandpa jerks wildly and grunts orgasmically, I stopped believing this could be unintentional. Um… Wookie masturbation? That didn’t get caught in the rewrite process? Jefferson Starship’s lead singer uses a light saber instead of a microphone when they perform, and let me tell you, that was not my first guess as to what it was. Yikes.

There was a strange little animated sequence in the middle which, for those of you trivia buffs out there, featured the first ever appearance of Bobo Fett. In it, Luke’s pupils dominate his whole face, Han looks like John Travolta if he had died in the 70′s, the planet they land is made of jello and R2-D2 wobbles like a dildo fresh off the conveyor belt. I don’t remember the plot. One of the biggest laughs came from the bumper in between commercials citing GM as a sponsor. Connecting themselves to this monstrosity appears to have been a bad omen.

I could go on, as the movie seemed to endlessly do, but in a nutshell, this was such a terrible movie that it exists on a separate plane from all other terrible movies. This is all-out ridiculous awful that probably counts as a torture device. Every two minutes I grabbed my hair and asked myself “Did that actually just happen? Am I really watching this right now? Somewhere along the line, someone somewhere felt that this needed to be captured on film?” I was simply in awe how god-awful this thing was. Eat your heart out, Jar-Jar: this is the fucking Citizen Kane of shit movies.

The event was hosted by The Minnesota Film and TV Board. This is their second year subjecting the masses to that which should not be seen, and this time they helped support Toys For Tots. It was free, and seeing the film in a bar with a crowd full of ironic appreciators turned what could have been an excruciating internet video into an enjoyable time despite itself. If you’re feeling brave, stupid, or suicidal, here is the Star Wars Holiday Special on Google Video, the whole two hours of non-stop decrepit garbage. Otherwise, you can join the Board next year as they show it again. Or, better yet, you can forget any of this ever existed and still pretend like the Star Wars franchise has some shred of dignity.

When I ran into Military Special for this interview, they were in the midst of an argument over aesthetic. Short songs versus false endings? Are the beats to be hard and heavy or do they just come off as sad bastard music? How much minor key is too much? “I wanted this song like a drunken anthem,” said guitarist Peter Blomgren, “but [keyboardist] Danell wants it to be a serious happy song with a melody,”. The band bandied back and forth their ideas over cigarettes and PBR at their practice space in downtown St. Paul. The space, adorned with posters that “nobody wanted to put up in their own house”, was well-stocked with beer and a range of instruments. The six-piece dance-rock band uses keyboards, vocoder effects and programmed drums intertwined with guitar, bass and live drums to bring the sensibilities of live rock and roll to electronic dance music. The result is a sound which captures both the infectious energy of dance and the hard drive of rock without either side being buried in the other.

Guitarists Joe Schweigert and Peter Blomgren originally played with current MS drummer Matt Robshaw in the band Look Down, and were looking to start another rock-oriented project. Joe and Peter were working on an album that was intended to as rock and roll, but Joe had also come into possession of a Juno keyboard. As the other band members (keyboardists Charles Smith and Danell Norby and bassist James Shaff) began to slowly flock into the fledgling group, the original concept of a rock album became an electro-rock album. The addition of electronic instrumentation to the band’s jam sessions led them to their current format for song-writing, and served well in getting the audience to dance. They let me play around with the vocal distortion they use to create the spacy robot voices incorporated into songs such as “1971″, and I saw why they felt they needed this in the band. I was also shocked they didn’t get caught up in the fun of messing around with these electronic goodie bags. I know I probably would waste a lot of time saying inane things into a distorted mic, but they manage to use the effects sparingly and when appropriate.

Military Special manage to come off as more than just electronic beats with guitar or rock and roll with synth, instead encompassing that center rung in the Venn Diagram of indie rock and dance music. It’s clear that the discussion I walked in on at the beginning is a necessary component to finding this stylistic middle ground. Each song is poured over, reconfigured, and removed of unnecessary or cluttering elements, until it becomes a final product. “Everybody comes up with their different parts, and after we figure out what parts we like, we start to scale back what isn’t necessary,” says Joe. The electronic beats are usually programmed first by Joe and Charles and brought into practices to begin writing live sections.

When asked if the band would ever delve more into the programmed side of their music, Joe responded that the band has more fun with the live element. “Our first album was lot more produced, and we’re trying to incorporate more of the live sound into our next album,” said Joe. “It seems like here in Minneapolis people are more about that then a couple of dudes with a bunch of computers,” The producer for their first album conceived of a band consisting solely of Joe and Peter and having the rest of the sound pre-programmed, but the group element and the performance element seems to be too important to the band’s sound to forgo the full lineup. Live, Military Special play off of the energy from bandmates and the crowd to bring the house to a frenzy. As a paired down, more electronically influenced band, I doubt they would have the same atmosphere of raucous abandon they have now. Without the rock element, the dance portion would not be as strong, and vice versa.

Military Special is currently working on a new album which is set for release early next year. Their current six-song EP can be purchased from their web site. If you require your legs to move and your head to nod, do yourself a favor and check out this band. Fans of dance music and indie rock will enjoy the bands melding of sounds, and everyone else will be too busy dancing to care. Check them out this Friday as they join Sleeping in the Aviary, Ouija Radio and Gospel Gossip at the Hex.

Military Special on MySpace
Official Page

Military Special with Sleeping in the Aviary, Ouija Radio and Gospel Gossip
Friday, November 21st
Hexagon Bar, 2600 27th Ave S
21+, FREE, 9PM