Even though we live in a state that’s covered in snow for nearly 6 months out of the year, I know right now that a lot of you don’t like winter. Why not take your mind off the cold by playing some outdoor games to heat up your body? One thing that I know everyone loves to do in the winter is play sports, whether it’s playing football in the snow or just having a classic snowball fight. Yes, we all love classic winter games, but what can we do when we get bored of them?

I met a guy named Gregory “Jake” Starsiak, a wild but awesome dude, who can invent games in the blink of an eye and loves sharing them with others. Some of these games are just weird or crazy, but some of them are just down right awesome to play.  He invented and told me about two sports that can be played around campus or elsewhere during the winter season, which is quickly approaching. Trust me, these games really sounded fun when I heard it from Jake and I can’t wait to give them a try this winter with my friends. So here are the two sports Jake told me about:

 

Hillball
H-i-l-l-b-a-l-l, Hillball! This game can be played in two ways: either free for all if you have less than 10 people, or with two teams if you have more than 10 people. The game starts off with any kind of ball being placed on top of a hill while everyone stays at the bottom of the hill. The goal, if it’s free for all, is to be the first to get the ball from the top and then run/roll/whatever down to the bottom of the hill without being tackled. If you do get tackled (since you’re playing during the winter, the snow will make it less painful) or are unable to move then you must say “disperse” so that the people on you will get off of you and then you must throw the ball back up to the top of the hill and anyone, except you, will have the chance to try and get the ball down the hill. It’s alright to drop the ball, but you can’t throw the ball down the hill. Now, if you’re playing with teams, the same rules apply except you’ll have help and unlimited passing, unlike football where you can only pass once. One more thing, before everyone runs up the hill, everyone must count to three and shout “HILLBALL”, you know, just to make it all epic, and then run as fast as you can up the hill. And that is Hillball 101 for you.

 

Snumo
Don’t worry, were not going to shout “Snumo!” when we play this game. The game is pretty simple and played with three to four people. You start by making a circle in fresh powder snow and having all the players stand outside of it. Then at the count of three everyone jumps in the circle, feet first (not face first! you don’t want to do that, trust me).  After all the players are in the circle they must stand straight and then bow to each other with their hands together like what sumo wrestlers do before a match. The goal of this game is to be the last man in the circle, so basically it’s like the WWE Royal Rumble where you throw, toss or push a guy out of the ring to be eliminated. One important rule in this game is that you cannot punch, kick or do whatever ninja moves you got in you, you can only push your opponents outside the circle.

These two sports are some sports you can play on or off campus during the winter (or potentially all year). They may be out of the ordinary, but it’s fun to try something new, like Hillball or Snumo.  Just a reminder, play safe and have epic fun playing these sports. Not only should you try out these two epic sports, but you can come up with your own sports too. All it takes is some imagination. It doesn’t matter what season it is, coming up with new sports is fun all year ‘round. Go ahead, tell your friends about these two sports and pretty soon your new sport creation might be featured here. GO!

When people think of college sports it’s always football, basketball, baseball, and hockey that come to mind. Sure, college kids love to throw on a little maroon and gold face paint and cheer on the people who are getting scholarships to play a sport, but what about you? You want your daily dose of physical activity, but you need more excitement than a boring ol’ gym. You could go for the intramural leagues offered by the Rec Center, but how about taking the non-traditional route? I have picked out four of the best sports clubs on campus that you may or may not know exist. Not only will these clubs help you stay in shape, but they’ll give you talents all your friends will be jealous of. I know all of you want to break out and try something new, so pick one and go for it.

 

Fencing
I don’t know about you, but learning how to fight with swords sounds like an amazing use of my time (especially compared to checking facebook every hour and watching online TV). It’s about time you took that inspiration you got from watching The Princess Bride, Rob Roy, or Pirates of the Caribbean and did something with it. Here at the U, not only do we have a fencing club that teaches you the sport, but a competition team that travels to intercollegiate events.

Now, you should know that fencing is not the “grab whatever weapon you have and go for it” fight that you see in the movies, but it isn’t tame either. There are three different weapons that are used in the sport: Foil, Épée, and Sabre. Each of these weapons varies in weight, shape, and flexibility. Also, each type of weapon has specific parts of the body you can score on. For example, in épée you can score by hitting any part of your opponent’s body, but in sabre you can only score above the waist. There are other rules and particulars, but you will learn those when you go to your three free practices.

That’s right! Unlike some other sports clubs where you have to make a monetary commitment right away, fencing allows everyone three free sessions to test the waters and see if it’s a good fit for them. Practices are on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday nights in Cooke Hall which can be accessed through the Rec Center, with a possibility for Wednesday night practices too.

For more information and practice times, go to: http://www.tc.umn.edu/~fencing/

 

Breakdancing
You know you want to. You’ve seen bboys and bgirls dancing on the streets and at campus events and you’ve been envious. You’ve always wanted to learn how to breakdance but never taken the initiative. Well, here’s your chance, just don’t go into it with the “I want to do head spins and flares right now” mentality.

The U of M Breakdancing Club is a perfect environment for those that just want to session, know the basics and want to learn more, or are completely new to the style. “Practices,” if you can call them that, are not so much structured lessons as they are open sessions. Music will be playing and people will be dancing, but everyone there is willing to teach you whatever you want to know. The club officers will break down the basics for you and get you to a level where you are comfortable dancing and mixing moves to the beat. From there, they can show you new moves and variations, or, if you see someone else do a move that you like, all you have to do is ask them to show it to you. That’s what hip hop and breakdancing are all about, being a community.

Don’t think of yourself as much of dancer? Try it anyways. While you may have been taught through bad TV or movie representations that breakdancing is all about power moves (windmills, flares, etc.), it’s more about originality and style—and everyone has their own style.

For more information and practice times, email breakdnc@umn.edu

 

Ballroom Dancing
When you started college, was “learn to ballroom dance” on your checklist of things to accomplish? I doubt it, but college is all about new experiences. Personally, I was walking around campus one day last fall and saw a poster for free dance lessons from the U of M Ballroom Dance Club. I had always wanted to learn these styles of dance and I thought it couldn’t be a bad way to meet girls. The next thing I knew I had 8 different styles of dance on lock and was going out to dance nights all around Minneapolis.

Have you ever been to a salsa or swing night and wished you could dance like the seasoned pros there? Well you can. The ballroom dance club teaches both of these styles as well as tango, waltz, foxtrot, hustle, rumba, cha cha, and others. You switch partners every couple minutes so don’t worry, you won’t get stuck with a weirdo and that girl or guy you’ve got your eye on will make it back to you during the lesson. If you’re hesitant, your first lesson is free so you can test it out without commitment. They have beginner lessons from 6:45 to 7:30 every Tuesday and Thursday in the Bierman Gym basketball court. Then there is general dancing from 7:30 to 8:30 so you can test out your brand new skills. Out of everything I’ve learned in college so far, I can confidently say that dance has helped me out the most.

Here’s a good idea, go learn some new ballroom moves that you can showcase at the Yule Ball! (See below.)

For more information, go to: http://www.tc.umn.edu/~bdc/

 

Quidditch
This is a dream come true for a lot of people, the chance to play the ultimate sport from their all-time-favorite books. While the U of M Quidditch team is immensely popular, this is a giant school and many of you probably didn’t even know we have a team, much less that there are teams on college campuses across that country.

This “muggle” quidditch (that’s non-wizarding folk, for you n00bs) has a few differences from the kind portrayed in the Harry Potter books. First, there is no flying, but players still hold brooms between their legs. Second, the bludgers have become dodgeballs. Third, according to president Luke Zak, “the snitch turned from a small flying ball into a full grown athlete, adorned in golden, tight, sparkly spandex.” Currently, the league has about 170 active participants, twice as many as their inaugural year. There is even a competition team that will play in the first ever Midwest Regionals (October 8th and 9th) and the prestigious Quidditch World Cup held in New York City (November 12th and 13th).

Whether your hands are shaking with excitement from all of this or you’ve never read the Harry Potter books and have no idea what I’m talking about, you can all experience it for yourselves. The teams play every Sunday, except October 9th, at 1 p.m. on the East River Flats. Also, the league is hosting a Yule Ball in early December as a fundraiser. Yes, you head me right, a YULE BALL. Everyone who loves Harry Potter can freak out now. It will be held at the DQ Club in TCF Bank Stadium and only 800 tickets will be sold, so you know it will sell out.

As for the future of quidditch, Zak had this to say: “Not only is it here to stay, but it is continuing to grow exponentially on campus and around the world.”

For more information about quidditch and the Yule Ball, go to: http://www.facebook.com/umnquidditch

Admit it, you’re starting to miss construction delays. It seems like forever ago since our fair bridge collapsed into the Mississippi. It was getting too easy. Enter the expansion of the Light Rail.

Change is never easy, particularly when it involves factoring a massive construction effort into your daily commute for the next three years. Such are growing pains, and the Twin Cities are certainly growing—by a half million residents in the metro area over the past fifteen years, actually.

Let’s be sure to properly categorize Light Rail detractors into their two camps: on the right are those who categorically reject public transit on principle—people like the head of the MN House committee on transportation, Representative Mike Beard–who get elected with cute one-liners like stopping the Southwest Corridor Light Rail project “dead in its tracks;” on the left are those who support alternative transit, probably even the Central Corridor (CCLRT) itself, whose concerns directly or indirectly come down to NIMBY, or not-in-my-back-yard.

Minneapolis and St. Paul used to be connected by a series of rail cars until they were paved over in 1953—a victim, like in many other American cities, of automobile based urban renewal efforts. Like many of its spatially endowed Midwest counterparts, the Twin Cities was built for sprawl, evolving into an economy comprised of a miniature central business sector reliant upon the suburban nodes dotted along its over-sized highway system.

Metro Transit now ranks seventh among eleven peer cities in transit investment per capita, with most of that money going to airports or roadway infrastructure (hard to believe given the condition of city roads). The Minnesota Department of Transportation just came out with figures placing our freeway’s congestion rate at the same rate it was when 35W was closed, while a recent study by the Texas Transportation Institute ranked our traffic congestion as some of the highest in the nation. According to their study, the average driver here spends 43 hours and burns 37 gallons of fuel in traffic jams annually. At $3.50 a gallon, that’s serious money evaporating in the waiting line.

In a future of declining liquid fuels—a fact now supported by a long overdue admission from the US Department of Energy—simply expanding our roadway infrastructure isn’t just short-sighted planning, it’s economic suicide. Not even the best public fleet of gas guzzling buses can change the fate of roadway transportation. There is already an imperative for investment in an electrically powered transportation infrastructure, to mention nothing of that whole climate change/carbon emission problem.

In light of a sizable influx of federal money to support the movement towards electrically powered transportation, some pretty undisputed numbers regarding overall economic benefit to the state, plus the fact that the CCLRT is barely shy of complete funding and approval, protests from the NIMBY crowd tend to ring hallow; the halfhearted lawsuits from the University of Minnesota and MPR merely sought to establish leverage with which to bargain for future compensation. The same could said of the lawsuit brought forth by the St. Paul NAACP’s coalition of concerned neighbors, the difference being that they will receive special attention through grants and government commissions dedicated specifically to help mitigate housing displacement or lost business revenues.

Aspects of gentrification associated with the CCLRT are unavoidable—that’s why the same people suing the project are simultaneously begging for a stop near their restaurant. Would business have been disrupted by some other, less socially beneficially construction effort? Yes, such are the hazards of building along a major road. Would losing 85 percent of parking spaces in one of the most parking-lot dense sectors of the metro be an overwhelmingly better use of space? Yes.

For students, the light at the end of the tunnel is a car-free Washington Ave, the way the Board of Regents recommended it be a century ago; that’s three stops on campus, plus a B-line to St. Paul. Nationwide, ridership on electric rails, including our own Hiawatha Light Rail, have exceeded expectations. Minnesota faces a long game of catch up and there’s not a moment to lose. CCLRT is a key victory for advocates of the 21st century infrastructure, currently under fire by politicians like Wisconsin’s Gov. Scott Walker; completion of the CCLRT will be crucial to the funding of its suburban extensions and this context must not be overlooked.

Minnesota has a prided history of effective citizen participation and this sort of discourse and dissent should generally be encouraged; there is a point, however, when frivolous lawsuits, obstructionism and party fictionalization undercut the long-term well-being of our state.

More information on the Light Rail construction at www.stpaul.gov or ww.hamlinemidwaycoalition.org

As the snow melts, the orange road signs begin to bloom again. This year they don’t just warn of soon-to-be-fixed potholes, but also mark the beginning of a half decade-long project deemed the Central Corridor Light Rail Transit (CCLRT). I know, I know, more convenient public transit, easier access to sports stadiums (woo fucking hoo), and another way to get to fun-filled downtown St. Paul! However, it also means closed businesses, more unnecessary condo developments, and even more impediments to getting to class on time.

No one could argue that the Light Rail will not eventually be useful, but eventually is the key word. It’s too late to beg for an underground transit system, and there is no way to derail the current plans for the new Light Rail. But why are we blocking one of the only main roads between Minneapolis and St. Paul for god knows how many years just so the people of St. Paul have easier access to Twins games? The current route of the CCLRT follows University Avenue all the way to downtown St. Paul; this forces anyone who doesn’t want to be stuck going 20 miles an hour on a one-lane road (yes University Ave will be trimmed down to one lane) to try and brave the traffic of highway 94 or take a ridiculous detour through the bro-mansions of Como Avenue. The city has already put up signs on Snelling Avenue reminding drivers to “Support University Avenue Businesses,” and the construction hasn’t even gotten that far yet.

Instead of hurting local businesses in the name of public infrastructure, why not choose a route that goes through neighborhoods that are in need of this kind of accessibility? The Midtown Greenway offers an already flattened area of land that stretches from Uptown to the river, and a light rail following the bike trail would prevent many of the muggings that take place each year on the Greenway bike path. The 35W bridge was built with enough room to accommodate light rail transit, so why not run the train over the bridge and through the below ground train tracks (again, already flattened and ready for use) through Dinkytown? A route like this would also open up space for a future route directed towards Northeast, another Minneapolis area in need of public transit.

No one is arguing against more public transit here. The Hiawatha Light Rail’s initial revenue was three times more than what was expected, and has probably helped Metro Transit from hiking rates even more. But the Hiawatha Light Rail had a lot more going for it—the epic Mall of America and the Airport on one end and the Twins stadium and downtown Minneapolis on the other. What do we have for the Central Corridor? The same Twins stadium at the starting point, and the Science Museum at the end. Will the Central Corridor help skyrocket Omnitheater sales? Only time will tell.

The Central Corridor Light Rail is an 11-mile transit line that will connect downtown Minneapolis to downtown Saint Paul, providing access to the University of Minnesota, the Midway District and the Capital Neighborhood. Running along University Avenue and Washington Avenue, the project includes 18 new stations and 31 new trains, and will connect to the Hiawatha Light Rail and the new North Star Line. The projected cost is $957 million. Construction is slated to continue through 2013 with the Light Rail open in 2014. More information at www.centralcorridor.org.

Best Holdout From 2009: The Dumphone

Owners of all clam-shell phones, bricks, slide-keyboards and pay-as-you-go burners, lend me your ear! 2010 was not a good year for we, the disconnected masses. It seemed like every week a new touch-screen enabled, 4g wonder-machine landed on shelves and tried to muscle us into irrelevancy. But we stood strong! For we are the dumbphone users, and like cockroaches, we shall be the last creatures texting on this earth. The humble dumbphone (a term applicable to any device that missed the wireless internet bandwagon) has remained popular largely due to the skyrocketing subscription costs for smartphone plans from the major service providers. A $200 price tag on the new Droid X (and that’s after the $100 mail-in rebate) quickly stacks up when you add in the $300 some dollars for a 2-year service plan and an extra $75 a month for the compulsory data packages. What it amounts to is a whole heap of money to have a phone that fulfills some of the functions that old laptop of yours has been providing for years now. While the Aughts were certainly the decade of the multifunctional super-gadget, Lady Liberty’s fallen on hard times lately, and we dumphoners would rather save the money by letting our phones remain just that: phones.

Worst Munchie-Bummer of 2010: The Great Chipotle Purge

Noticed a severe drop in the burrito-quality index at your local Chipotle over the last month? No, you’re not crazy, you’re merely witnessing part of the fallout of the company’s recent purge of nearly 80 workers statewide after the Immigration and Customs service conducted an I-9 audit, white-collar crackdown on Chipotle’s restaurants in Minnesota. Coming right before the Christmas bonuses went out in early December, the hatchet job mostly affected the company’s Latino staff, including some who had been employed with Chipotle for over five years. While it’s certainly unfortunate that the local working class had to take a hit because of the Nation’s mounting border insecurity, the real tragedy here is the useless honkies the company hired to replace them. We Chipotle fanatics have high standards for our massive calorie bombs; cold spots, botched orders and dripping burritos will not be tolerated. So when college-boy breaks his third tortilla in a row on your next burrito run, save your rage for La Migra and learn how to use a fork.

Best New Place to get your Hipster Cred Up: Angry Catfish Bike and Coffee Bar

Looking to garner a few scene points around the Twin Cities? Steer clear of Northeast, that’s so 2009, and you can forget about Uptown while you’re at it, the yuppies are buying up those new condos faster than their organic tomatoes at The Wedge. For the truly hip and cutting edge, the new “it” neighborhood in Minneapolis will be the formerly bucolic Standish by Lake Hiawatha, at least if the effortlessly cool staff at the Angry Catfish have anything to say about it. You can gaze longingly at the boutique track bikes gilding the shop’s walls whilst sipping a shot of Intelligentsia Espresso lovingly hand-drawn by a fetchingly mustachioed young Barista. The café has all the snazzy Java gadgets one could desire, from Chemex to French Press, and even Vaccum-Pot. Feel free to bring your old beater road bike along too, as the Angry Catfish keeps a full-time mechanic on staff to service repairs. While you wait, enjoy a delicious pastry from the neighborhood’s other, decidedly less hip institution: A Baker’s Wife.

Lamest 2010 Moment for Minors: Eclipse Records Closes

It gets harder every year to make a living selling music, especially if your band isn’t even old enough to buy a lottery ticket, and that’s why all-ages venues seem to be dropping like flies these days. Eclipse Records was forced to shutter its doors in September, another casualty of a recession that has shown little mercy to record stores and venues alike in 2010. It’s a real shame, too, because Eclipse was a great store with a strong stock of records and a knowledgeable staff. The shop opened its location on St. Paul’s University Avenue in 2006 and finished the work on it’s small venue space in the back in 2008, which quickly became a haven for the local all-ages Punk scene. Despite a barebones sound setup, shows at the Eclipse were always intimate and rarely much of a strain on the wallet. The venue even managed to attract some bigger name local acts, such as The Soviettes, much to the all-ages scene’s delight. The record store portion’s used bins always seemed to contain a few cheap gems to reward diligent diggers, in addition to the latest releases. Eclipse even housed an awesome collection of vintage Pinball machines and arcade games for the kids to waste away the hours on; their Galaga machine will be sorely missed. 2010 might have been an awesome year for the Twin Cities music scene, but it certainly had its casualties.

Biggest Minnesota Pride Moment of 2010: Doomtree Snowout

The Doomtree Crew seems to step their game up on their annual First Ave showcase every year, and 2010’s Blowout was certainly no exception, despite this town’s crazy weather. Blowout VI took place at the Main Room on December 11, which, as you may remember, was the day when the sky opened up and unleashed an unholy blizzard upon the unsuspecting city. Something in the vicinity of 19 inches dumped out of the heavens in less than 24 hours leaving cars buried, plows stuck, and general chaos in its wake. But First Avenue was far from empty that night, as the diehard local hip-hop fans dug out their cars, biked, walked and even skied through the whipping winds to pay tribute to their favorite local rap group. The night opened up with sets from the crew’s DJs Lazerbeak and Paper Tiger before POS, Cecil Otter, Dessa, Sims and Mictlan all joined them onstage to help rock the half-capacity crowd. Keeping the crowd warm with awesome Crew tracks like “Drumsticks,” Doomtree also took some time to let each of its members shine. Sims got a chance to promote his new record and Dessa performed some songs off her excellent solo album A Badly Broken Code with backing by Twinkie Jiggles of Heiruspecs fame and Abby Wolf. By the time a beaming Sims sat in front of the audience, as his new video for “Burn it Down” debuted for the crowd, there was a palpable sense of hometown pride in the room. For we are Minnesotans, and neither rain nor snow will keep us from reppin’ those Wings and Teeth!

After David Foster Wallace’s suicide in 2008, he left behind over 1,000 scattered and disjointed pages of an unfinished novel called “The Pale King” that he had been working on with varying degrees of success since 2000. The book is structured as a mock memoir narrated by a fictional David Foster Wallace and the plot, as far as there can be in an unfinished work, follows IRS agents struggling to cope with the boredom of their jobs. Of course, now that “The Pale King” is out of the real Wallace’s hands, marketing is inevitable: its release day is April 15, or tax day.

While the book will inevitably seem discontinuous and unsatisfying plot-wise, the pleasure of reading Wallace is not about juicy plot twists or conventionally satisfying, cathartic conclusions. Instead, it is about the character of his work: the fundamental honesty and consciousness (but not necessarily self-consciousness) that runs through his work, from giant novels about addiction to nonfiction travel pieces about overly decadent cruises in the Caribbean. His occasional use of technical language and complex sentences complete with asides relegated to footnotes may intimidate some readers, but they shouldn’t: he treats the reader as his equal and his companion if that reader is willing to be active, not passive. While I wish there were still more work to come from the best writer of his generation, Wallace’s unfinished work will have to satisfy his readers, or, more appropriately, leave them unsatisfied.

Everyone has that one band they wish they could have seen live, but which has now disbanded because of old age, new projects, or death. While the Beatles, Nirvana, and The Doors are some of the more popular choices, that band for me has always been Atari Teenage Riot. A German electro-punk band known for their political extremism, they captured my attention when I was an impressionable, angst-ridden kid. To sum them up, in 1999 they put their act on wheels and performed through the streets of Berlin during an anti-NATO rally which ended in rioting and extremely violent police retaliation (don’t worry, the whole thing is on Youtube). Unfortunately, by the time I was old enough to go to one of their concerts, the group had deteriorated and one member had overdosed—a fate not uncommon of many great musicians. Then came 2010 and the announcement that ATR would be reuniting for real, not just a reunion tour, but the second phase of their musical revolution. This past year they toured throughout the world, making their new presence known, but to my disappointment the closest they came to Minnesota was some hole-in-the-wall club in Chicago. Fortunately, however, ATR has signed with Dim Mak records, founded by electro house artist Steve Aoki, and is releasing a brand new album in 2011. I’m expecting an even more intense, expansive, and out-of-control world tour following the release.

Epic Meal Time is not for the faint of stomach. The show makes even the most decadent and ridiculous fast food options look like a fad diet’s healthy alternatives. This Christmas, they created a gingerbread-house-mocking “Slaughterhouse” out of dead animals. Made with a ground pork floor, walls of steak bricks held in place with “meat glue,” ham for windows and doors, roofed with pastry and candied bacon, fenced by Jack-and-Coke ribs, and filled partially with Cheez Whiz (and eggnog infused with Jack Daniels and bacon grease to drink), the “Slaughterhouse” clocks in at a mind-shattering 86,997 calories and 5,581 grams of fat. Epic Meal Time would perfectly capture the excesses of American culture, except that the people who put the show together are Canadian.

It’s tough to tell exactly how serious the Epic Meal Time people are about these meals. Certainly there is an element of satire and absurdity, but there is also a meaty element of sincerity—after all, the people who cook the obnoxious meals do eat them (though thankfully they are split among a medium-sized group). One wonders how much of the series of videos is an outgrowth of our culture—that we must create a spectacle to draw the attention of others—how much of it is a satire of such spectacles, and how much of it is legitimate boundary-pushing and experimentation. The answer is probably all three in equal parts, just as Epic Meal Time’s epic meals look equally creative, disgusting, and oddly delicious.

Preface from Maggie Foucault, Sophie Frank, Joe Kleinschmidt

It seems like everyone these days is a “poor student” or a “starving artist” (or at least everyone from CLA), but that shouldn’t mean we have to stick to the standard trifecta of cheap Friday nights—studying, partying, and hanging out on the internet. There are tons of cheap things around town, from $3.50 Vietnamese sandwiches on Eat Street to student rush tickets at the Guthrie or Orchestra Hall, from Riverview Theatre ($2 movies on Tuesday nights) to Blue Door’s $2 taps.

But what about living for free? We challenged Alex, our spanking new Cities Editor, to spend a weekend on the town without spending a dime. The rules: no out of pocket expenses (even if daddy’s picking up the tab), no lounging around at home, food at the back of the cupboards is fair game, but there’s no eating out (if it comes with a check) or trips to the grocery store, so pack a lunch.

Free weekends can be done all over the city, not just on the free-food-filled frat row or on campus with help from generous student groups. Art museums all over the city offer free exhibits, regular exhibits at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts and the Weisman are always free, and the Walker offers many special exhibits and events for free as well. Smaller galleries may not have as many exhibits as the big dogs, but they tend to be on the free side, like Burlesque of North America (1101 Stinson Blvd).

During the holidays, many restaurants and venues offer free things in exchange for a non-perishable food item, something all of us college students have tucked away in our kitchen (refried beans, anyone?). Bryant Lake Bowl offers a free game of bowling for an edible donation to the Joyce Uptown Food Shelf, and Punch Pizza recently offered a free meal in exchange for a donation to Second Harvest. Many of these offers are one day only, so it is important to always be on the look out.

Don’t let penny-pinching get in the way of a wonderful weekend. Be spontaneous, live in the moment, and always remember, in the words of R Kelly, “It’s the freakin’ weekend baby, I’m bouts to have me some FUN!”

No Problems Alright

There are two things I find troubling about college students. Well, two things in particular. The first is that they complain about being broke but spend all of their hard-earned money (or their parental allowance in a lot of cases) on booze. The second is that they claim there is never anything to do but party, especially on campus. When I tell people that I don’t drink but always have the best weekends ever they either think that I’m rich or that I’m some weirdo. No, I don’t spend my weekends flying to exotic countries. I don’t spend them drinking Mountain Dew and playing World of Warcraft either. To show everyone that there are tons of amazing things to do, none of which include purchasing or consuming alcohol, I decided to document my adventures on the weekend of Nov. 12th. I also vowed not to spend a cent.

Due to my sole class on Friday, I started my no-money, no-problems weekend Thursday night. Earlier in the week I heard that Scott West, one of the live painters from the band Cloud Cult, was exhibiting his work at the local art gallery Tarnish & Gold, and I decided to check it out. After a little research I found that the gallery was less than four miles from campus, and that on Thursday night it was holding a free screening of the new Cloud Cult documentary No One Said It Would Be Easy. After deciding that paying for gas or a bus fare would violate the main rule of the weekend, my bike became my method of transportation. After a rather picturesque night ride, the glowing Minneapolis skyline to my left almost the entire way, I pulled up into the driveway of what looked like a modern two-story garage built in the ’50s. I locked my bike and proceeded to open a door on the first floor, not entirely sure it was the right entrance.

I walked into a warm, welcoming atmosphere where eccentric people were conversing in chairs, waiting for the film to begin, while others gazed at West’s engrossing abstract nature paintings. The funny thing was the people were just as interesting as the art. A moody girl with unkempt dreadlocks poking out of her black beanie had tucked herself into a couch as close to the screen as possible. A skinny, stolid young man with at least 10 facial piercings, three of them in his nose, was glaring at a chatty girl seated in front of him, boring holes in the back of her head. Another lone man sitting near the back, probably the oldest person there, was either homeless or had come from the film Machete 2 where he played Machete’s twin brother. The documentary was exponentially more polished and moving than I expected, definitely worth more than a lot of movies I have paid to see (Enter the Void, anyone?). The gallery owners were even nice enough to make popcorn for everyone who came, topping off the first of three free days.

Sanctuaries of Free Stuff

Friday night I heard about a Tau Kappa Epsilon grill-out from one of my friends. While an evening at a frat house may not appeal to everyone, the basic point was free food. There are so many events on campus that offer free food as an incentive to come—CLA feedback panels, club meetings, religious gatherings—it’s almost a sin not to take advantage of them. So for dinner I had two free hot dogs. I don’t think I had ever truly appreciated hot-off-the-grill food until I ate it in 30-degree weather.

Then it was off to Hennepin Avenue United Methodist Church. Yes, I went to church on a Friday night, but it’s not what you think. Local bands Retribution Gospel Choir, Zoo Animal, and The Starfolk performed, turning the ornate sanctuary into an all-out loud, out-of-control rock venue.

There were no prayers or plugs for people to join the congregation, and people from all walks of life were welcome to partake. It was even better than seeing a show at The Varsity or First Avenue, as most of the musicians were hanging around before and after their performance, talking with people as though they were just there for the show too.

I even got the chance to speak with Holly Newsom, lead singer and guitarist of Zoo Animal. To be completely honest, I was a little apprehensive about seeking her out after she sent her last shrill notes reverberating throughout the hall, threw down her guitar, and strode offstage. Fortunately my apprehension was unfounded and she was incredibly nice.

Saturday could have been a movie-marathon day, with the picturesque snow drifting past the window. I did start the day by watching Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince on TV, for obvious reasons, but I yearned for more. Apart from Harry Potter fever, the snow created an urge within me to bake homemade cookies, but I had to come up with a way to accomplish this without making a trip to the grocery store (and thus, spending money).

First, I raided my kitchen. Second, I substituted random ingredients for ones listed in the recipe that I didn’t have, such as quick oats for flour, peanut butter for butter, and random candies for chocolate chips. These mutant cookies ended up being incredibly delicious, and were quickly devoured. That night I went to a 10-minute play festival put on by the U’s Xperimental Theatre in Rarig. The performances ranged from completely ridiculous, with encouraged audience participation, to grim, with the audience holding its breath. It showcased so much student talent that most outside of the theatre department never get to see.

Unfortunately, Sunday had to be a study day (inherently cost-effective), but I wasn’t sour, as the weekend started early, and I went to some of the most diverse and inspirational events yet this semester without even opening my wallet.

Ah, outer space. The final frontier, orbits, gravity, and other science words. Since the dawn of time, man has been awed by the infinite galaxy-filled blackness that lies above us and has attempted numerous times to master it. Orbiting the Earth every 24 hours, visible from every country in the world, the moon is the perfect strategic point in space. With the recent discovery of usable water and other materials on our shiny white friend, the strategic importance of the moon has been magnified.

None of this seems to matter to the Obama administration, however. Earlier this year, Congress voted to cut the Constellation program, a NASA project that would have returned United States astronauts to the moon for the first time since 1972. Though seen as a mostly symbolic gesture to past exploration at the time, new discoveries of usable materials on the moon, specifically usable water that could support lunar settlements, have made this project all the more necessary.

Professor Roberta Humphreys, a professor at the University of Minnesota for nearly 30 years, says she is frustrated and deeply disappointed with the Obama administration’s take on space missions. The administration has also abandoned the most recent shuttle program, forcing U.S. astronauts to buy seats on other countries’ shuttles, a practice Humphreys calls “disgusting.”

“In most peoples views, NASA “wastes” too much money on manned space flight,” says Humphreys. Robots have become increasingly popular, sent to Mars on numerous missions to gather information about the planet. There are times when humans are still required, however, particularly in situations where a “human decision” is necessary. When robots encounter problems, the controllers on Earth are forced to quickly reprogram the robot and hope that the next time around goes better, a tedious and sometimes ineffective process. Humphreys own service to the Space Telescope Institute Council has added to her opinion on robotic space missions, “Could we have done the servicing mission on the Hubble (Space Telescope) with robots? I don’t think so.”

According to Humphreys, manned space flight is still a worthwhile investment, “Ninety percent of the time a project doesn’t need humans, but when it does, you’re glad they are there.” Another solution to the funding problem is allowing private companies to develop new technology for use by NASA. But this too poses a problem. As Humphreys points out, “The advantage of NASA is that it is a government entity and not for profit. The primary mission is to work safely.” Humphreys worries that private companies allowed to work without the oversight of NASA will be more interested in profit than in the safety of the astronauts using their creations. Implementing NASA oversight would cost a similar of money as maintaining the program proper, however, which makes it an unlikely solution.

With Canada, the European Union, and even China developing new space technology and continuing to fund manned space flight, the United States needs to follow suit or be left in the moon dust.