The Wake

Democrats are still feeling the burn from the razor-thin margin by which Al Gore won the popular vote in the 2000 presidential election, and republicans would like us to forget the tenuous circumstances that brought us under the leadership of George W. Bush. So, in order to squeeze the most votes out of the lump in the political bell curve, the two major parties have made the current race into a fight for the elusive swing voter. In a mad scramble toward the moderate, democrats and republicans are leaving their ideological stalwarts out in the cold.
The democrats had a chance to nominate a candidate who might really have changed things in Washington, D.C. They could have changed millions of lives for the better (indeed, saved millions of lives) by working for universal health …

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Students hold varying opinions on affirmative action, and their stances seem to be dictated by whether it has harmed or helped them. If some white students believe they unjustly lost out to students of color, they are obviously going to strongly disapprove of affirmative action. Such is the case with Mike, a white man and a junior at St. Thomas. Mike seems to clearly understand that the purpose of affirmative action is to “establish diversity in places where prejudice might otherwise prevent it,” but he questions if this is always the right route to take. He knows he didn’t receive certain jobs, scholarships and financial aid because they were awarded to minorities he believed were less qualified. Mike has a 4.0 GPA, was a member of the National Honor Society in high school, is currently …

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There’s a running joke that if you ask for two different Jews’ opinions, you’ll hear three. In other words, don’t come over for dinner unless you enjoy arguing. Especially about politics. It’s true in my family æ don’t come over to my parents’ house for a meal unless you would like to spend hours in a heated political debate. With the election coming up, it’s hard enough to escape such arguments on campus. But I promise, one evening in my family’s dining room and you’ll wish that you were having dinner with Michael Moore and Rush Limbaugh instead. As a Jew, I am constantly faced with questions such as “How do Jews typically vote?” And “Could you please summarize the Jewish political stance?” I laugh, remembering that …

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Fall is the time of year when nature takes a dramatic turn, shifting from life to death. Words like “leaves,” “football,” and “school” creep into our vocabulary; crisp, cool mornings chased by warm, sunny afternoons become the norm. Fall is the time of year when you change clothes multiple times a day: from pants to shorts, and back to pants again, all the while not sure what to do with the sweater you’re carrying around in case it gets cold. Maybe the largest burden (or gift, depending on your perspective) that fall brings is the start of school. It’s laughable how it all starts. The “fam” piles everything into the minivan and heads to the cities to drop you off at college — an event that seems to take as long …

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I arrive with scores of other people thick iron gates that seem more suited for a dairy farm than this family-friendly google-plex. Overhead, a small plane chartered by the Minnesota Republican Party circles low over the crowd towing a sign that announces this is not an ordinary Thursday; it’s in fact John Kerry flip-flop day. Leaving the habit trail walkway I took from the parking lot, I am immediately barraged with a variety of loud corporate logos emblazoned on the tops of tents and the sides of trucks. From McDonald’s to SPAM to a giant Pepto-Bismol-colored CoverGirl truck with a hugely long line of pubescent girls and their mothers. Further on – you guessed it – more people filling streets and sidewalks walking aimlessly with pronto pups in one hand and shopping …

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A light rail line aiming to relieve an overstressed metropolitan traffic region should have been met with open arms. After numerous setbacks and a long construction process, it is still unknown, however, whether the Twin Cities will have a viable form of public transportation.With things already running behind schedule, the Hiawatha Light Rail Line’s grand opening was pushed back three months from its target date of April 3, mainly because of issues surrounding a 46-day transit worker strike. Ridership exceeded expectations during the first two months, partially due to events along the line such as Twins games. The surrounding businesses also received a significant boost after its opening.The light rail also came with problems. Residents living near light rail stations have complained about rail users taking up all of the parking on …

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So it’s the end of my senior year, miraculously. A mere four years at the ‘U’ and I am prepared to head off into the “real world,” diploma in hand, resume ready. Unfortunately, as those of you who’ve attended job fairs know well, everyone wants to hire us for a sales position. Now sales doesn’t seem bad when you first say it. I made sales while working in retail, and I liked the interaction with a variety of people, the varying inventory and being knowledgeable about various products. But sales positions mean something else entirely. . .Sales will mean working ten- or fourteen-hour days, making cold calls and needling companies into purchasing your product. Sales means you’ll have no idea what kind of money you might bring home each month; which leaves car payments, rent …

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This is the crystal ball special, the rest of the year in news brought to you before the news hits, or even happens. Keep it handy and score along as the year progresses.Sept. 2004: Jesus returns as the rapture takes place over Madison Square Garden at the National Republican Party convention during the week of 9/11. Bush is delighted as Jesus tells America - on a FOX news exclusive - that they are indeed God’s chosen people, and they have the right to kill as many people as necessary for carrying the eternal quest toward the great American “good.” Jesus then eats a $10,000 plate lunch consisting of stale nachos, a burnt corndog, a glass of Kool-aid and a beating human heart. Jesus suddenly morphs into Satan and waves a twin-towered …

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However long you gentlemen out there have had the image of girls’ night as women in their underwear getting into pillow fights or tickle wars with each other, hopefully now you have come to grips with this fabrication and realize it is only a fantasy. Mostly, we sit around and drink wine or cocktails, talk about school, work, lovers, fading friendships and new encounters. As men use the “activity” to bond; over sports, barhopping, car shows, etc.; women can get by with a good conversation any day. Until the drama begins to die down and little changes day-to-day. I have seen it in my graduated friends – they work most of the time, see a movie or two occasionally, visit their folks and work some more, maybe stopping to hit up happy hour or the …

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Let me get a few things off my chest. I’m not a woman. I love babies. And I’m glad as a Gregorian monk to be setting the conservatives - those right-winged, “religiously-righteous,” Rolls-Royce revving revenue-riders - straight in their horribly misguided quest to assert moral dominance over the whole of America. Their latest perversion? Making abortion completely illegal. Get this part straight; don’t let them bullshit you with “only partial-birth bans” propaganda. No. To quote Quint, my favorite Spielbergian New England shark-hunter: they’re going for the head, the tail - the whole damn thing. Which is interesting, considering that in this body of political water, the only carnivorous creatures cut-throat enough to maintain aquatic-control are the Republicans themselves. Virtual fallacy-fishes, these self-supposed “morally right” crusaders and their conservatarianistocratic approach to the abortion debate, thrive on churning …

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There is only one issue worth talking about when debating abortion, and that is whether or not when an abortion is killing a human being. That’s it. There are only two answers, either yes or no. If yes, then abortions should be made illegal. If no, then abort away. Sure, there are plenty of other strong arguments against abortion. Abortion clinics are strategically located near poor Black areas and have been used to control the Black population. In fact, there are about 30 million Blacks in America right now; there have been 40 million abortions since Roe v. Wade, of those 10 million [25%] have been Black abortions. One in four abortions have been African Americans, yet they make up only 10% of the population.As disgusting as those …

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To declare that marriage is simply, by definition, between a man and a woman is to shroud prejudice. To say that marriage is deeply rooted in heterosexual tradition gains no moral ground either – after all, slavery was rooted in just as much tradition.I certainly don’t believe everybody opposing gay marriage is a bigot or homophobe. I do, however, think if they could step back and imagine what their lives would be like if they were denied this basic right, they might start to reconsider their stance.The very nature of the way we see love and affection is altered by the possibility of marriage. To go on a first date or to fall in love for the first time – those are all entirely different experiences when the possibility of marriage lies before you. The …

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St. Patrick’s Day is coming up quick
Celebrate until you are sick
Drink green beer on a dare,
Wear a clover in your hair,
Dance like you don’t give a frickThough I’m not Irish, for the past three years, I have celebrated St. Patrick’s Day religiously. And by religiously, I mean drinking beer and dancing around madly with my friends. Though St. Patrick’s Day was originally meant to honor the patron saint of Ireland – born in Wales in A.D. 385 with the given name Maewyn – it has become a holiday in which we all are encouraged to let loose and celebrate the stereotypes of Irish culture. Americans wear “Kiss me, I’m Irish” pins, T-shirts with clovers or leprechauns, and ride on buses loaded with people to crawl from one pub to the other …

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Dear Fees Committee,We have met before. Most likely you do not remember me, as I was a fawning journalist at the time (and a fawning journalist still). I was asked by my friend and co-worker Tom Ford to cover one of your spring meetings while he took a midterm. My job was to get the latest updates on the state of student groups’ fiscal allocations by your committee, a group whose initial votes creates an impact, but not a final say, on the prosperity of student organizations at the University of Minnesota. Tom went on to great success at the Minneapolis Star Tribune as a watchdog of the southwest metro area, while I remain here, finishing my college education, with disappointment for my future fellow journalists.When I attended your meeting, I was at the Minnesota …

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It’s shaping up to be an interesting year in American electoral politics. Underneath all the noise screaming out of the television, we seem to have a Democratic candidate who flaccidly stands on the issues “for the good of the average American” before retreating to his summer beach mansion financed by his fortune and that of his wife, the heir to the Heinz Ketchup fortune. However, he does look slightly like a shaven Lincoln-esque character, so that seems like a plus. Kerry rails against the “special interests” yet he is as much a product of lobbyists in the banking and financial sector as Bush is to the oil and energy monopolies. On the other hand, we could have another term of the Bush/Cheney regime, featuring such interesting acts of late as the VP and Supreme Court Justice …

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