The Wake

St. Patrick’s Day is coming up quick
Celebrate until you are sick
Drink green beer on a dare,
Wear a clover in your hair,
Dance like you don’t give a frickThough I’m not Irish, for the past three years, I have celebrated St. Patrick’s Day religiously. And by religiously, I mean drinking beer and dancing around madly with my friends. Though St. Patrick’s Day was originally meant to honor the patron saint of Ireland – born in Wales in A.D. 385 with the given name Maewyn – it has become a holiday in which we all are encouraged to let loose and celebrate the stereotypes of Irish culture. Americans wear “Kiss me, I’m Irish” pins, T-shirts with clovers or leprechauns, and ride on buses loaded with people to crawl from one pub to the other …

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Dear Fees Committee,We have met before. Most likely you do not remember me, as I was a fawning journalist at the time (and a fawning journalist still). I was asked by my friend and co-worker Tom Ford to cover one of your spring meetings while he took a midterm. My job was to get the latest updates on the state of student groups’ fiscal allocations by your committee, a group whose initial votes creates an impact, but not a final say, on the prosperity of student organizations at the University of Minnesota. Tom went on to great success at the Minneapolis Star Tribune as a watchdog of the southwest metro area, while I remain here, finishing my college education, with disappointment for my future fellow journalists.When I attended your meeting, I was at the Minnesota …

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It’s shaping up to be an interesting year in American electoral politics. Underneath all the noise screaming out of the television, we seem to have a Democratic candidate who flaccidly stands on the issues “for the good of the average American” before retreating to his summer beach mansion financed by his fortune and that of his wife, the heir to the Heinz Ketchup fortune. However, he does look slightly like a shaven Lincoln-esque character, so that seems like a plus. Kerry rails against the “special interests” yet he is as much a product of lobbyists in the banking and financial sector as Bush is to the oil and energy monopolies. On the other hand, we could have another term of the Bush/Cheney regime, featuring such interesting acts of late as the VP and Supreme Court Justice …

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What is a definition? For example, how would the words, “sexual relations” be defined by the majority of people? Webster’s Dictionary defines “sexual” as “pertaining to sex,” and a “relation” as a “connection.” So a “sexual relation” be something like, “two people coming together to commit an act which is sexual.” I believe so, and I believe the majority of people in this country would come up with a similar definition to mine. But who, or what, is the final arbiter that gives unequivocal meaning to words, ideas or even institutions? What if suddenly our basis from which all our morals and culture come from could be changed arbitrarily when it is in the interests of a few? Sound like a radical far-fetched idea? Let no one forget how the honor, dignity and moral leadership …

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Dating in today’s culture provides a multitude of options, particularly for our generation. We can be traditional, meeting people through friends or co-workers, at parties or clubs. We can be risk-takers and venture to the bar with the hopes of at least finding a playful one-night stand. We can use our connections through school or clubs, churches or synagogues, athletics or hobbies. Or we can hop on the Web, go to a site and meet the man who could be of our dreams – or nightmares.Gophersingles.com is one of the latest websites to serve the college community. Based in Texas, gophersingles.com is part of 100 online dating sites, such as ASL-singles, single Latinos, tattoo-singles, and skier-singles.com. The company’s CEO Brad Armstrong told me the service has been doing well since its launch in summer 2003, …

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Post de facto of Saddam Hussein’s capture, I think it’s necessary to theorize his strategy during and after Operation Iraqi Freedom. And it is important to note how U.S. politics were and still are intertwined with that strategy, especially during the primaries. Hussein was certainly no match for the Coalition, so what was he thinking defying the United Nations, and what U.S. politicians indirectly helped him?Hussein allowed the Coalition to easily take over Iraqi infrastructure and this comes as no surprise to me. In a classic territorial war, Hussein could not keep the Coalition out by force. So in the time it took the Coalition to reach Baghdad, Hussein and his subordinates took refuge across Iraq and implemented their plan to create a Vietnam-like quagmire. They would orchestrate attacks on the Coalition intermittently, so the …

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It’s puzzling to try to picture what that guy was doing in a spider hole, issuing orders to kill Americans when he knew he could not win. But Saddam Hussein did not become a bloodthirsty dictator through rational strategy. Had he wanted to, he could have called Karl Rove.No, Hussein most likely got his military intelligence from ancient religious prophecy. Aside from Dubya, that’s hard for most Americans to imagine. But we have right-wing fundamentalists here too, mainly in the South. I’m not sure what’s worse: Saddam’s lack of intel or Bush’s indifference toward the best intelligence network in the world, the CIA.America needs a regime change of its own, after Mr. “C-Average” put Americans in harm’s way on a false pretense, changed the story and pissed off our friends and allies. Then he threatened …

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The idea that someone can potentially find his or her soul mate without ever having to leave the house is every lazy person’s dream come true. With the invention of the Internet, computer nerds across the country were finally able to scour personal ads in search of the person they would hopefully lose their virginity to. But is online dating right for the rest of us who aren’t scared to death of the opposite sex? The number of people who have posted their profile on the web indicate the answer is “yes.” Online dating websites offer users the opportunity to look for their “perfect” idea of a mate by answering a few simple questions regarding what you want your significant other to be like. Once people fill these surveys out, they get the chance to …

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Aahh…February again. Out come the pink hearts, red flowers, squishy teddy bears and enormous amounts of stress for both the single and the committed! What to do? Where to go? And how to say what you feel? Here are a few guidelines to help you out on the holiday:Single?DO: Smile flirtatiously at your crush. People are looking for love and/or booty this week more than any other, so he or she may be more apt to take the hint and say hello. Wear something you feel sexy in, whether it is a T-shirt and jeans, or a cute skirt or slacks. Others will notice your added confidence.DON’T: Stay at home and watch bad romance movies by yourself. And please don’t go out with a complete jackass just so you can say you had a date …

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While dining on my roast beast over the holiday break, I took time to read over the December issue of The Wake in its entirety. I came across a column that didn’t have kind words for the governor of our state, Tim Pawlenty. The author of the piece (“A Battle Cry Against Tuition Hikes: Reflections on the Student Protest Paradox”), Eric Magnuson, opinionated that the majority of blame for consistent tuition hikes the University of Minnesota implements should rest with our governor. Although Magnuson acknowledged the Board of Regents does make the ultimate decision on tuition increases, Pawlenty is the villainous, yuppie-loving, discriminatory politician who recommended that the University receive a $170 million cut for the 2004-05 biennium, right?Well, Pawlenty did recommend the cut, yes, but the critical thinking skills learned in our K-12 education …

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Gov. Tim Pawlenty is not the sole villain responsible for continued tuition hikes at the University of Minnesota, but he definitely set the trend of this downward spiral. The higher education system of our state is facing a $170 million cut in the 2003-2004 biennium thanks to Pawlenty’s tax policies. He refuses to raise taxes even while his massive spending cuts are still not enough to keep Minnesota in the black.Pawlenty attributes the state’s economic turmoil to a spending problem. Examining the statistics reveals that there may be another side to the story. While in recent years, Minnesota has only increased spending slightly over the national average, Pawlenty’s tax cuts have given Minnesota the title of the largest percentage of tax cuts in the union. It appears the governor’s infatuation with tax cuts may be …

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Valentine’s Day is designed to give guys an opportunity to show they have a romantic side. Some people actually plan this day months in advance because they want the night to be “perfect.” Even department stores will get into the spirit of the day by carrying romantic items such as flowers, candy and massage oil, or kinkier accessories like handcuffs, chocolate body syrup and flavored condoms. After all the gifts have been purchased and the reservations have been made, guys will go all out to make sure that their woman will have an evening that she will never forget. A typical date might consist of a guy presenting a woman with flowers and candy, dinner at a fancy restaurant, and (if all goes as planned) a trip to a hotel. But, for those guys that …

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I find that our relationships often parallel other aspects of our lives. Just as teenagers and early twenty-somethings change rapidly as people, their romantic needs are apt to change as well.A student myself on the cusp of graduation, I feel glad I had a largely single college experience. As I now reflect, snow falling and John Coltrane playing, I realize the single life kept me free to grow personally and socially during these four years. A single graduate is not tied down and will travel when offered that perfect job in some random part of the country.Some college students are still forming their adult personalities and fundamental ideas. Others have finished this process in the not-so-distant past. With the temptation to latch on to someone permanently comes the uncertainty of what changes the future …

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Quickly approaching a close to my college career, I know what typical Holiday tradition I’ll see evidence of in January: engagement rings. If you haven’t heard it already from the class a year ahead of us, proposals are the trendy holiday gift for your college girlfriend. And in the wake of the attacks on Sept. 11, 2001, and the war in Iraq, when people tend to become closer in crisis, engagements are to be expected. The conundrum is why these engagements continue to increase for younger people.For our mother’s and more specifically our grandmother’s generation, becoming engaged or getting married while still in college under the age of 25 was shocking. Ask around your family this Holiday season and you’ll find that many were just finishing or had recently completed college. But for the generations …

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When investment and consumer spending is not strong, the only way to create the essential growth needed for a healthy economy is through tax cuts. Reagan and Kennedy implemented this strategy and the effect was prosperity for all. With President Bush’s tax cuts, America will again be reaffirmed that trickle-down economics works. When people get to keep more of their own money, they spend it. This increases sales and profits for businesses. With increased sales and profits, businesses expand, create jobs, and create wealth for investors. This cycle ends with the people who become better off because their investments grow and a better opportunity for job choice exists. But the Democratic presidential hopefuls try to deceive the American public by blatantly using class warfare or scare tactics to discredit Bush’s economic policy. How many …

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