The Wake

Minn. — If you’re from the Midwest and it doesn’t matter where, say shh. Say shh. If you can drink tap water and breath the air, say shh. Say shh …Roam if you must, but come home when you’ve seen enough. Holla Minnesnowtans. That salutation took a while; please forgive me. Oh, and you probably wanna go on a month-long walk with me to D.C. With this whole war going on, it’s surely a month that will go down in history. Why not write the history – live the history. If you wanna come, meet me at Northrop Mall on June 4th. After a handshake from a few friends of mine and yours’, we’ll walk down Uni to the Capitol to meet yet more friends, and then we’ll head south to Red Wing for the evening, ya know, yada, yada yada. A Madtown stop is certainly in order, as well as a visit to that toddling town of Chicago. A stop in Lima, perhaps? Ohio, not Peru, ya friggin’ idiot. And what venture from the land where we walk on water would be complete without the breathtaking Gateway to the Piedmont: the Cumberland Gap. Pull up your bootstraps, Johnny Appleseed, we’re on an expedition. No cutting down cherry trees, though. If we get there early – before the Fourth of Ju-lye – I guess we’ll hang out across the Potomac on Alexandria or Arlington – or even Pentagon City, gasp – for a bit. Maybe sleep in Arlington National Cemetery. Or dig up George Washington’s skeleton a short jaunt south at Mount Vernon. Who knows what may, but we’ll probably shut down the Interstates heading into our fare Capital, considering how popular this idea has/will have become come this here Ju-lye, as Sinatra might have said. We will carry on, as a herd of buffalo soldiers here in the heartland of America heading to the densely packed, scary East; land of the crooked politician and fast-paced, fascist greed. Just a bunch of bitches and a big fucking Dick – several. This is sadly, not a joke. Yes. I am crazy. But it’s the Summer of 07 goddamnit and it’s time to believe in something. And it’s long past time to bring the troops home, before Vietnam II kills ANY MORE and makes those henchmen any richer.