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Wii Dildo Attachment

Until recently, the Nintendo Wii video game system was the newest technological addition to the American nuclear family. Children, parents, and even grandparents would gather around the sleek system to watch their relatives flap like a bird in order to guide a computerized, chicken-suited avatar to a goal, swivel their hips to move virtual hula hoops, and jerk their bodies to steer cars. Now, thanks to Germany (of course), the Wii has graduated from the familial state of pre-adolescence and moved straight into adulthood. Scientists at Bauhaus-University Weimar in Germany have developed, according to their website, the “first body-massaging device, that can use motion for stimulation,” or a dildo attachment for the Wii.

Known as OIOO, the Wii dildo is a device with capabilities far beyond what can be seen by the naked eye. No more will society be subjected to movies lamenting the horrors of the long-distance relationship (I’m looking at you, Justin Long). No more will lonely nerds have only their right (or left) hand to keep them company. No longer will tech-savvy lovers be at a loss when cyber sex loses its appeal. The OIOO has broken the last barrier to a truly global society; using Skype, the OIOO can recognize the motions one user is making with their dildo-equipped device and replicate the vibrations on a different user’s wiimote on the other side of the world.

OIOO is not the only wiibrator on the market; a company called Mojowijo has a similar device that is currently in the beta-testing phase. Mojowijo promises on its website that the wiibrator will be ready by the 2010 holiday season. Both devices have similar designs: a long, cylindrical attachment for one remote, and a similar attachment for the other remote with a conveniently placed hole in the end, designed for the male participant. The Mojowijo is gaining a surprising mass-market popularity and was featured in widely circulating magazines such as Wired, San Francisco Weekly, and French Elle.

The possibilities arising from the development of such a product are endless. Repurposing wiimotes for sex is only the beginning; cell phones, laptops, even normal vibrators could all be repurposed or redesigned for erotic stimulation. Programs like iTunes could be integrated so as to change songs as the tempo of the vibrations increase or decrease; pay-shows via web camera could use the remotes to add a physical aspect.

The use of a wiimote for sexual stimulation is really not so surprising. As technology has developed, so has pornography. What do you think the first camera with a focusable lens was used for? Film cameras? How about the vibrate setting on your Blackberry, in a pinch? Even in ancient times, after paper was invented it was quickly used for the dissemination of pornography. If one thing is true about the human race, it is that any new technology can be sexualized.