00:01 Oh good. It’s basically the same theme song.
00:14 Is that baby video of Michelle all we’ll see of her?
00:38 29 years later. Man, I feel old.
00:47 Of course there’s a baby named Tommy.
01:15 John Stamos never changes. Neither do his jokes.
02:41 How many times can we say, “Morning”? Is that a joke?
03:27 Shameless “General Hospital” plug.
04:09 Hardcore guilting the Olsen twins.
04:40 Aw, what a good dad to introduce his own children when they walk in the room.
06:01 Kimmy Gibbler as a party planner is the most realistic thing.
06:57 Donald Trump jokes! Pretty sure this started as an SNL skit that just wouldn’t end.
07:50 We didn’t even make it through 10 minutes without a “how rude” joke.
08:22 Channeling Britney Spears for the version of this theme song doesn’t seem like a great idea.
09:48 Do people have to pay Disney when they mention Simba?
10:14 Ohhhhhhhhhh, so DJ is the new Danny. She is the new single parent raising three kids “on her own.”
11:50 That’s nice, the two of them were having a touching moment until Danny & Co. came in and forced them into another touching moment.
14:00 If it wasn’t a bad soap opera before, Kimmy’s ex-husband just made it into one.
16:00 Wow, is this a Bollywood show now? I can’t remember the last time I saw a spontaneous-yet-coordinated dance party on TV.
16:21 Points to Steve for the Katsopoli joke.
18:04 I can’t decide if I love Nicky and Alex or hate them.
18:45 “There are a lots of single moms. I can do this” DJ said. “But having a sitcom sure would make it easier… Don’t you think so Dad?”
19:05 It’s like they are cramming all the music in eight seasons into this first episode.
21:15 Am I watching Disney Channel? Where’s Miley?
23:00 Enter single Steve, telling the world how single he is.
25:09 Kimmy hugs Danny. Audience claps. ~Closure.
27:00 Comet Jr. Jr. will have babies? This show just got so much better because puppies are involved.
28:32 Survived almost the whole episode without the “cut it out” joke, and then it happened.
29:00 Fuller House: Watch DJ have a mental breakdown because everyone’s too busy making dumb jokes instead of helping her.
31:00 Number of intense decisions made in three minutes? Too many.
31:59 Points to Jesse for making a joke about the cost of living in San Francisco.
33:00 We definitely needed that split screen reminder of the Flintstones.
34:30 Well that was nice… Wait, there are 12 more episodes? ABOUT WHAT?