The Wake

There’s something about actors wanting to be rock stars and musicians wanting to be actors. As many of you may know, Outkast will be featured in a film, Idlewild, tentatively coming out this summer. And this isn’t the first. Before Eminem starred in 8 Mile, there was…Prince in Purple Rain! If Prince just worked at a car part factory by day, I’d swear they were the same damn movie. Yes, fair readers the connections between the two are all there: The much sought-after babe, the family strife, and the final nightclub showdown. Well, maybe not.

At the start of Purple Rain it almost seems like just a tripped-out concert video. We’re treated to static shots of Prince’s band in some of the weirdest ‘80s makeup and outfits. And then there’s the man himself, doing his hyper-sexual zany stage thing. We’re obviously meant to get the impression that Prince is the funkiest, freakiest dude in the world (which, in fact, he is). During the show, a girl named Apollonia sneaks in the club to audition as a singer/dancer. Apparently she’s like Helen of Troy, because every guy in the place can’t stop staring at her. This includes Prince…and the dreaded Morris Day! Yes, of Morris Day and the Time—the guys who did “Jungle Love” (oh-we-oh-we-oh). No lie—Morris and his sidekick Jerome are a couple of the most outrageously bumbling bad guys I’ve seen on screen.

The rest of the movie is basically random performances broken up with scenes of Prince fighting Morris for the affections of Apollonia, and each subsequently treating her like crap. Damn, if this movie doesn’t objectify women! Of course it also teaches us that beating women is wrong, showing us scenes of the domestic abuse that typify Prince’s home life.

Unlike 8 Mile, Purple Rain has only two professional actors, playing Prince’s parents. Everyone else is either in the music biz or newly discovered. It shows. I’d like to say the acting is bad on its own but I’m pretty sure the dialogue is partly to blame. Prince tells Apollonia that before he’ll help her career, “you must first purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.” Is that not priceless? And dig the Minnesota reference.

In fact, that was one of the coolest parts of the film, from a Minnesotan’s perspective. Even better, the club First Avenue is really prominently featured. It serves as the battleground between Prince and Morris as well as being mythologized as the place where local artist’s dreams come true. It’s nice to see that kind of appreciation for a legendary local venue.

In all honesty, unless you’re really into movies so bad they’re nearly good, you might not enjoy Purple Rain as much as I did. But if you like to hear lines like, “your lips would make a lollipop too happy” said with complete sincerity (oh, Morris Day), this just might be your thing. The music is classic and if you’re a fan of the Purple-clad Funky One, then it’s a cool way to see a fictionalized look at the evolution of his music and his look. Hopefully it will tide over anyone desperately waiting for Idlewild. Outkast’s Big Boi and Andre are the rightful heirs to the George Clinton throne of mothership funkiness that Prince had previously held. Let’s just hope in following his footsteps they have some better dialogue. And maybe bring back Morris Day as a bad guy.