An extreme study conducted by the University of Missouri last April, “21st Birthday Drinking: Extremely Extreme,” (this is the real name, google it) showed of 2,518 respondents, 83 percent drank alcohol on their birthday. That’s Xtreme!!

It comes as no surprise, then, that authorities have decided to respond. Signed by 130 university chancellors and presidents, the Amethyst Initiative, created last July, states that the 21-year-old drinking age is not working and must be dealt with. But even with Mothers Against Drunk Driving’s panties in a bunch, and the recent deaths of students celebrating their 21st – including one in Mankato – still highly visible, will changing this law really curb binge drinking?

In junior year of high school, I wrote a position paper about lowering the drinking age. We presented our papers, and I was inappropriately assigned to espouse a zero tolerance drinking and driving policy. My paper and the Amethyst Initiative both use the classic argument that adults under 21 can vote
and fight in combat, so why not knock a couple back before studying bio?

The initiative also says the drinking age creates a secretive and dangerous binge drinking culture. Having to wait so long for this “right,” in my opinion, gives drinking a mischievous allure; the idea that drinking is debauched, so drinking to excess is rebellious.

Five years later, I’m sticking with the 11th grade me. To celebrate my dad not wearing a rubber, I decided to try the “21 at 21” ritual to see if I can handle my liquor and possibly change my stance on the drinking age.

This is my 22nd b-day, so that means 22 shots/drinks. Last year, I was smart and didn’t do this, but I did manage to sneak into a local bar at midnight. Also, the University of Missouri study asked respondents how many drinks they had a NIGHT, (on average, men drank 15 and women downed 11) so no “power hour.”

Oct. 9

9:18 p.m.: shot number one of Southern Comfort while watching “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia;” stung a little

9:25: dos

9:31: shot three; too many poop jokes on “It’s Always Sunny”

9:38: shot four; trying to make shit funnier; beat in shot contest

9:50: shot five; trying to take the skirt off and go faster

10:35: pretty drunk; shot 10, oi’m fucking high dude

10:41: shot 11; my stomach burns a little; but I’ll pop snitches in the dome motha fuckas

10:56: shot thirteen; I’m ready to hear to the bar peaece (From here on, I was at The Library, possibly was kicked out, and blacked out. A roommate’s quote, “I’ve never seen anyone like that before.” Yes!!!)

10:37 a.m: woke up, still drunk, hearing stories about passing out in my closet and staring at a pile of vomit by my bed after 16-18 shots

I learned something today. This “21 on 21” thing would never be popular if, you know, we were educated after fifth grade DARE class on the downfalls of alcohol and we were eased into the world of drinking instead of, BAM, 21, here’s 21 shots to start off your life. Maybe the Amethyst Initiative isn’t such a bad document after all.