The Wake

I’m in an auditorium and 25% of the students are sleeping, 25% are sudokuing The Minnesota Daily and roughly half the room appears to be either paying attention or staring blankly into space. 10% of students look like they’re taking notes. Personally, I’m on my laptop, writing this introductory paragraph and wishing I were somewhere far, far away. What happened to that college education I was promised in high school?

This particular class is Intro to Psychology – and it is the cause of an overwhelming urge to take what little money and self-respect I have and leave the college forever. This and the majority of the other intro classes available at the University of Minnesota are the product of a new trend in education and society: a collective acceptance of laziness and a uniformed slackening of standards. This trend is molding a new generation of American college graduates that is accepting of lethargy, selfishness, and stupidity.

Like the average misguided high school graduate, I came to college with a couple of dreams and a wide range of interests. I joined the College of Liberal Arts and took a multitude of different introductory classes. I admit, as a first semester freshman, I thought they were fantastic. They were relatively interesting and they required almost no work at all. I spent nearly every night of fall semester at a bar in St. Paul abusing substances of all sorts and almost never studying.

College Reality Check #1: Like the majority of freshman, I was paying thousands of dollars to live on campus and get fucked up. Only the most prominent rock stars are usually awarded such lifestyles. I was hardly ever on time for class, I rarely read any assigned text, and I still had a high GPA. As much as I’d like to think I’m a genius, the fact is that this is the lifestyle of many freshmen across campus.

There’s something wrong here. When did higher education become a product packaged neatly for the average consumer? Why is it that students can skip every day of class, study for an hour before the midterm, and receive high enough marks to be on the Dean’s List? Step back for a moment and analyze the reality of the situation. The instructors of these courses do little but prepare a slideshow of information and push a button, reading the screen and watching the pretty transitions. The same slideshow is available online in a printable format - every student has a version in front of them. Basically, everyone in the room is doing the exact same thing: reading the slideshow. This isn’t education, it’s regurgitation.

During one of my Psychology lectures, the professor couldn’t read the small font on the slide in front of him. “We’ll just skip that one,” he said with a laugh, and was met with no opposition.

As far as my experience goes with introductory classes, this is usually the case. Why am I wasting my time and money on downloadable PowerPoints? This is not an exaggeration by any means. I received a 95 on my last midterm by studying the downloadable slideshows for three hours on the day of the test. My teacher was kind enough to include a study guide that specified everything I needed to know.

If I’m paying thousands to attend a university, I’d better be in classes that are strenuous enough to require motivated attendance. This does not include the “Sign your name on a piece of paper at the end of class for attendance points” bullshit that was pulled in my Mass Comm 1001 course. We need teachers who are interested in the subject matter; teachers that fill lectures with enough information to ensure that students attend simply because they know they’ll miss something interesting.

College Reality Check #2: Classes like this do exist. I’ve taken enough introductory classes to consider myself a fucking connoisseur and I can tell you that iyou won’t find out if an area of study appeals to your interests by sliding through the shit filled intestine that is an introductory class. This amazing revelation came to me during my second semester of freshman year when I found myself in a writing intensive, upper division course meant for seniors who were about to graduate with History majors. I don’t have any particular passion for history, but the vast majority of students and professors in the course were interested in what they were studying. It was amazing: not a single person slept during lecture. If someone didn’t make it to discussion, the students and T.A. were generally concerned. It didn’t inspire me to become a history major, but it motivated me to work hard and pay attention. It also showed me what a college course should be like.

Unfortunately, in some sort of misguided attempt to “ease” students into a field of study, most undergraduate programs require enrollment in an introductory course. While it’s valid to assume that no student wants to be thrown in at the deep end, it should not be the job of university faculty to pander to the likes and dislikes of the students. Making a class simple to serve as an introduction may save a portion of uninterested students some stress, but it deprives everybody of a worthwhile experience.

This is where professors should take control. Though they may be confined by the restrictions of fulfilling the most general of requirements, they can inspire motivation in their students by showing an interest in the subject matter themselves. Teachers who don’t know enough about the class to teach without a PowerPoint should not be teaching the course. PowerPoints are a great complement to the teaching atmosphere when used correctly, but when they become the sole source of information, the class should be adapted into a binder of information and given out as study material for more worthwhile courses.

College Reality Check #3: Society blindly shoves unwilling participants into the college system. The underlying problem that exists is the fact that American society expects everybody to have a degree in something. The expected result is that people will become generally more intelligent. Unfortunately, what actually happens is a lowering of the overall standards of college graduates. Instead of people interested in learning about an area of study, people enter the university system with the sole aspiration of graduating with a degree and entering the workforce. This makes the majority of intro classes a stepping stone in someone’s four-year plan; a way to fulfill general requirements and move on as quickly as possible.

The College of Liberal Arts is, in many cases, the definition of wasting valuable time. Advisors and graduates have told me repeatedly that I probably won’t get a job in the field in which I receive my B.A. It’s not what major I receive, but the degree and the experience. If this is the case, why am I in college? Why am I not gathering experience in a field that interests me? At a recent University event, I helped a woman who recently graduated with a degree in Music Education stuff envelopes for the participants in the event. She wanted to teach music and was currently getting paid to stuff envelopes.

There are many students who actually care about their field of study in CLA, but the fact that so many students move on to different professions makes the Bachelor of Arts degree even less worthwhile.

Solutions: If college is going to be generally required for nearly all professions, a few things need to change. First of all, in the current scenario, colleges have to satisfy the interests of their students, whether it’s to graduate as quickly as possible or to learn and contribute to a field of study. College is apparently fulfilling the same role as K-12 education and is generally considered necessary for a successful future. If this is going to remain the case, then college should be a publicly funded institution.

Secondly, a few steps can be taken to ensure that opportunities are still available to the students who are searching for them. If a student feels that they may have an interest in Psychology but is generally frustrated by the monotony of introductory classes, they should be able to take a more strenuous course without question. If another student simply wishes to fulfill a general requirement, then the introductory classes should still be available.

Lastly, students need to analyze and take control of their situation. People should aspire to passion and charity, not the career with the greatest income. Seriously, wake the fuck up, get yourself out of your unmotivated, Tila Tequila, drug addled stupor and do something with your lives. This is college! This is the only time in your short flash of an existence that the resources and opportunities to change the world surround you. As monotonous as the majority of sober college experiences appear to be, you have every tool you could ever want to accomplish your goals. You pay tens of thousands of dollars a year to attend this university; the least you can do is make it worthwhile.