The Wake

When I started college, I had no idea that I would also be gaining a new, non-human significant other. My pockets were empty. My stomach was growling. I had nothing but a bottom-of-the-line microwave. Then it graced me with its presence: Its name was ramen. Ramen is the college kid food staple. Being the college kid I am, I quickly learned that a relationship with ramen follows the same patterns as a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. From start to finish, ramen is right there in its own noodly ways.

When freshmen move into their new dorms, they suspect nothing. They meet their new roommates, unpack and maybe check out UDS for the first time. Classes start, a week or so goes by and the unsuspecting freshmen suddenly realize they keep missing lunch or even worse—dinner. Like all hungry college students, the freshmen become sad. Just when they start to lose all hope of ever eating again, they meet ramen: the affordable, microwave-compatible, speedy quick brick of noodle glory. My first meeting was awkward: learning how long to cook ramen in the microwave is an art that takes refining. After a few of those awkward, get-to-know-you meetings, where the ramen tasted like soggy Styrofoam, the relationship got better.

Ramen has a lot to offer in the beginning of the relationship. Once the awkwardness passes, you learn about the whole world of flavors ramen can offer: beef, roast beef, pork, mushroom, shrimp, oriental and my personal favorite, roast chicken. Those are only a few of the flavors out there. That’s where the “can’t get enough of each other” stage stLiterary. When I hit that stage, ramen was there for me when I missed dinner at my dorm, for night class or for whatever extracurricular activities I had. It was there to meet me at my microwave and we got along so well, I couldn’t believe it. Of course, that was short-lived because one can only handle so much ramen, as all ramen eaters quickly learn.

Things can only go so well for so long before something happens. Some hardy college kids make it for a year or more with no problem with ramen. By the time they reach a point where there is no UDS to feed them and they have no money, things change. They realize that the only thing they can eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner is ramen and the relationship takes a turn for the worst. Just like when you spend a little too much time with that significant other, too much ramen means you start to feel smothered. Let me just say that ramen knows how to bicker with the human body, especially when it comes to triggering the gag reflex or pissing off the stomach. Call this the token big fight of the relationship. The only good solution is to spend some time apart. I got lucky when it happened to me; the timing lined up with winter break and I got to go home and eat real food with some nutritional value.

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, or something like that. When people spend time away from their significant others, they start to miss them and want to see them again. With ramen, the same thing happens for the college student. It’s almost like a crazy nightmare. “Why, oh why,” you ask yourself, “do I still need it?” realizing that the craving you can’t seem to fill with real food can only be satisfied by ramen.

So, you go back to campus, begrudgingly make amends with ramen, and the lover-turned-foe graduates to lover status again. This part happened more quickly for me when I ran out of leftovers from home. I thought enough time had passed that I would be okay allowing the salty stuff back in my life. Besides, I had nothing else to eat. After the token fight is where the relationship sinks or swims. Some will spend the rest of their lives with some ramen around the house and will feed it to their kids someday. Some will be on-again off-again with ramen. Others will never look at one of those brightly-colored square packages with affection for as long as they live. Whether you love it or hate it, get prepared for ramen!