You’re probably afraid of me. You may not be quite sure why you’re afraid, but you are. When you see me walking down the street, images and words flash into your mind as you recall information you’ve heard about people like me. I am a Muslim woman, and I cover my hair which means everywhere I go I broadcast my faith. I am accustomed to stares, whispers, and outright rudeness. I don’t blame you for feeling the way you do.

I’ll share something with you that I have never told anyone. When I was flying home last year, I saw two men who appeared to be Arab. I suddenly felt a little nervous and hoped they weren’t plotting to harm anyone on the plane. Seriously. I, an Arab and Muslim woman, was afraid these men because it is so ingrained in our minds that Arabs and Muslims are foreign, violent and scary people. It was not my finest moment.

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be an article telling people to get past their own fears and stereotypes. I say we embrace our crazy, irrational fears, while also looking at them with a critical eye.

I know you’re probably all sick of election talk, but let’s start with the woman attending the McCain-Palin rally in Lakeville, Minnesota. “I can’t trust Obama”, she said. “I have read about him. . He’s an Arab.” Cue McCain taking the microphone away from the woman and repudiating her statement with, “No ma’am. He’s a decent, family man citizen that I just happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues.” Say what?

McCain’s statement got a lot of play on the major news networks. He was applauded for shutting the woman down and complimenting his opponent. Am I the only person that noticed that his words implied that being a decent family man was the opposite of being an Arab? So, if a major political figure in the United States perpetuates the idea that Arab is the new four letter word, why should we expect that Arabs or Muslims be treated with respect in the political arena or elsewhere?

I’m going to assume this woman was confusing the terms and was actually trying to call Obama a Muslim. I’ve heard that rumor quite a few times and it was considered to be harming him politically. I don’t blame people for being freaked out by the possibility of having a Muslim president. How could you not be afraid of a religion that is portrayed as bizarre, backwards and violent? Not to mention some of Islam’s followers wear funny clothing.

As a woman who is both Muslim and Arab, I find myself caught between non-Muslims who downplay my religion with statements such as, “You’re not any different than me” and “I have friends of all backgrounds” and Muslims who are constantly defending themselves by saying, “I’m a moderate Muslim” and “Islam is a religion of peace.” I would like to take this opportunity to say that I am sick of all of you. Whether you want to hold hands with me and sing about peace and love, or you want me to stand with you and become the voice of Muslim Americans….I want to punch both of you in the face. And it’s not because I’m a violent Muslim.

I am tired of having people tip toe around me and mention issues of diversity and multiculturalism so as to avoid offending me. I am tired of having to defend myself. There are days I want to rip the scarf off of my head so people quit talking to me about my religion. I understand that I am different from the majority of Americans. I don’t get angry when people are scared of me because of the way I look. That’s the way our brains work. We recognize others as similar or different from what we are used to and act accordingly. When I see someone wearing an outfit that is from a culture I am unfamiliar with, it is natural for me to stare and be curious. There is nothing wrong with that.

I also disagree with the notion that I have to go around telling everyone that I am a peaceful, moderate Muslim. I am not responsible for other people’s actions. I do not have to stand up and defend myself because someone thousands of miles away did something despicable. If others are too afraid or ignorant to realize that Muslims are not a monolithic group and therefore want me to assure them that yes, I am one of the “good ones,” well that’s just too damn bad. At some point we have to realize that while stereotypes are not always a bad thing and can be used to help us organize our world, there are about one billion Muslims and it has to be pretty clear that we’re not all the same. Is it so shocking to people that I may not want to always have to talk about my religion to others? Maybe I just want to talk about the latest person to get voted off of Dancing with the Stars. Well, that’s not true….I actually hate that show, but that’s beside the point. Not all Muslims get high off of appearing in the media and becoming the “new face” of Islam.

The point of all of this is to acknowledge that Islam is different. A lot of people are scared of Muslims and Islam, and it’s about time we just all admitted it and moved on. I don’t care that neither Obama nor McCain visited a mosque during their campaigns. And I also don’t think it was amazing when Colin Powell said of Obama, “”he is not a Muslim; he’s a Christian. [...] But the really right answer is, what if he is? Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country? The answer’s no, that’s not America.” He also went on to talk about a Muslim who died serving the United States in Iraq. I am not so naïve to think his statements altered the way people think. Besides, highlighting one Muslim’s life in that context is akin to saying, “See, not all Muslims are bad, listen to the story of this guy!”

I’m tired of talking about my religion. I’m tired of others telling me to get over it and realize that I have to talk about it because that’s just the way it works. I’m tired of people assuming that I’m angry that my religion is not discussed positively by politicians. I’m tired of people wanting me to give speeches everywhere because I happen to be born into a Muslim family. And now that I’ve put it all out there, I’m not talking about any of this for awhile….at least not until the next multicultural fair.