The Wake

Illustration by Meghan Matteson

“Hello. My name is Abby. I’m twenty-two years old. I live in St. Paul. I’m working toward a degree in English. I’m a Gemini. I enjoy writing, dancing and riding my bike. My favorite books include Lolita and White Noise. I’m an infamous regular at my local coffee shop. I’m into video editing. I smoke like a chimney. I hate cooking. I like puns. I love my family.”

Check it out. This little bio is made up of tidbits gleaned from my now defunct Facebook profile. Two years ago, this was part of a rather desperate attempt to urge my classmates and friends to take note of me. “Now see here,” it said. “I’m interesting and quirky. I have personality. You’ll like me.”

Two years later, I can honestly say that none of this drivel ever directly contributed to the formation of a real friendship. Frankly, I’m not surprised. Count how many times the pronoun “I” appears. It’s overwhelmingly self-involved, completely predictable, and because it exists outside of an interesting, dynamic conversation, doesn’t really accomplish anything. Alas, for all of its original good intentions, Facebook just made me the host of a great big flop of a party: I spent hours dressing up for it, but no one actually came.

Facebook wants us to understand it as a springboard into our communities, a way to quickly and conveniently pair up with like-minded people that we’ll soon be meeting for coffee and friendship. It purports to be the means to this end, but have the site’s hyper-personal format and sassy applications gotten us so obsessed with our own idiosyncrasies that we’ve stopped short of real interpersonal interaction? Are we spending too much time hung up on our online selves to be of any good to anyone else? What’s the purpose of all of this?

The purpose of Facebook is, to me, vague. What began as a small, intercampus network serving the Ivy League has, in just a few short years, skyrocketed to become a network of 64 million users worldwide . eight out of ten college students in the U.S. use the service on a daily basis and now the network has expanded to include anyone with a valid e-mail address. Everyone uses it and hell, why wouldn’t we? Facebook is just one big, sweaty, amorphous network of friendship, community, and camaraderie, aesthetically pleasing, accessible whenever and comprehensive enough to appease our short attention spans.

I think it’s important to remember something; we all want to make friends. “Well, no shit Abby.” But really, there’s nothing more exciting than meeting a new person with whom you feel a real connection. Now, if you feel that firebombing random people with the banal details of your winsome personality is the best way to find this friendship, then more power to you. However, it is of some interest to note that your personal information is finding its way to places and institutions you might not expect. Each drop-down info box, party picture and pay-pal – purchased imaginary gift is just another piece in the marketing jigsaw puzzle that Facebook’s corporate sponsors are putting together every day in order to figure you out. The company decided to step up their marketing efforts in November 2007 with the launch of a nifty little “service” called Beacon. You might recall this much-hated “social advertising” tool; it mined users’ profiles, pictures and online-purchasing information and – at no cost to Facebook, Beacon, or any of a dozen involved companies – transformed them into lucrative advertising news feeds. (For example, “At 9:15 PM, Abby bought The Very Best of Prince from amazon.com” would appear as “news” on my profile) Over a period of time, Facebook users began to report seeing their pictures used in advertisements on sites other than Facebook! People were outraged because they thought their personal rights were being violated. The company’s hired gun apologized for this unfortunate misunderstanding; Facebook does, in fact, own the rights to everything ever put on the network and may do as it pleases in order to turn a profit. Basically, users were smugly advised to get familiar with the fine print; “just so you know, we can – and will – fuck you.” Thanks for the heads up. While you’re at it, go ahead and wiretap my phone. There’s enough surveillance in our environment already; I’m not signing up for more.

If all of this terrifies you, (as it does me) then it might be time to re-ask that question, “What is the purpose of all of this?” It appears that Facebook is getting the lion’s share after all and all we’re getting is exploited in exchange for a cheap thrill.

Now even if you aren’t bristling at the idea of personalized spam and Orwellian marketing strategies, you may still want to reconsider what you write in those little boxes. I’d go as far as to suggest leaving them blank. “But then, what’s the point of Facebook?” you might ask. “I just want to meet new people and keep tabs on the ones I know. How am I supposed to navigate this vapid quagmire of personality without a roadmap?”

That’s all valid, but it brings me to my final question; by asking us to define our personalities, is Facebook subtly encouraging social conformity? When the service was offered to my small college campus in late 2004, it was like a feeding frenzy. After a few short months, a lot of people (myself included) thought Facebook indispensable; it was the only way to find out about student-run performances and activities, not to mention parties. Many groups I was affiliated with began using Facebook as their primary mode of communication. Theoretically, as Facebook becomes more of an integral part of our daily interactions and activities, it follows that our “friend networks” will grow by leaps and bounds. I’d argue that this phenomenon breeds a “herd mentality.” As our interests, affiliations and opinions become more public, we’ll inevitably feel an unhealthy amount of pressure to present ourselves in certain ways. I mean, haven’t you noticed how similar so many profiles are? After a while, it’s impossible not to become suspicious; fess up, I can tell you copied and pasted your iTunes library list. And did you get through even half of Atlas Shrugged? These are sub-par examples, but you understand what I mean. Freedom of expression doesn’t mean the freedom to trick people into thinking you’re someone you’re not. Now, am I insinuating that we’re intentionally and deviously manipulating one another? Absolutely not! It’s just very important to understand what forces are at work here. As I said, we all want friends, and we all have certain criteria in mind when we are looking for them. As Facebook profiles become more and more homogeneous, users will have to work harder and harder to stand out, but at what cost? Exaggerating and hiding parts of our personalities on Facebook just to look ‘cool’ to other people is not the foundation of a healthy relationship because, in the end, no one will get what they want.

It’s time to back away from the Facebook. Every minute you spend sitting alone, drinking the Kool-aid, editing a market-tested list of favorite hobbies and movies is another minute spent not actually doing any of those things. By investing so much time managing our virtual lives, we’re missing meaningful opportunities to engage with our physical communities. I challenge you to cut out the middle man; deactivate your Facebook profile – if only for a week – and spend that time somewhere new, doing something that you never thought you had time for. We’re all so much more interesting in real life; don’t just be another anonymous drop in the photo-bucket.