The Wake

Let’s say Jimi Hendrix rose from the grave for one last epic performance, and every legendary rock star was with him on stage. In this unprecedented show, tickets are free. Now imagine that someone decided to make the show 21+; it would be a travesty. I for one would hire a ninja to karate chop the bastard that thought it was a good idea: karate chop him hard.

What is it about the 21st year of our existence on this Earth that so completely revamps our thought process? It’s the magic age in this country. Twenty-one is the age when we’re somehow suddenly able to go to a bar and get shitfaced in public. Twenty-one is the age we can go to a liquor store to get shitfaced at home. We can walk around downtown Minneapolis completely decimated without anyone taking notice. Unfortunately, I’m not 21 yet and neither are the majority of the college students on this campus. As minors, we’re bound by law to keep our faces from becoming shitted. If we decide to get plastered, it has to be in secret. If someone sees an 18-year-old college student passed out in an ally, they do take notice…believe me.

But what does drinking have to do with music, aside from the stereotypical “flawed rock star” cliché? Why does my ability to legally drink affect what concerts I can go to, what music I can hear? As I walk past the heavily guarded doors of First Avenue on a 21+ night, I wonder what could possibly require such maturity that I, an 18-year-old college student, am strictly not allowed. Are there giant vats of the finest ale and spirits being poured over the crowd? Are there beautiful women tearing off their clothes? Is First Avenue actually a School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?

These questions brought me to Nick Kranz, Booking Director for First Avenue. He assured me that the reasons are far duller. The motivations for a 21+ show are strictly financial, revolving around the ability of First Avenue to sell as much liquor as they can per capita. Minors can’t drink, which means they can’t spend money. Liquor companies also sponsor some events, and to avoid advertising to minors, the shows must be 21+.

The problem isn’t about the venues or the artists, but about drinking laws. Obviously, people drink at 18+ shows as often as they do at 21+ shows. Liquor companies advertise in magazines, television, movies…why can’t they advertise at an 18+ concert? How often have I been excluded from a show featuring my favorite band by my inbred handicap of being born a mere 18 years ago? It’s age discrimination, damn it,, and I for one should not have to sit here with my dinky headphones knowing that the same band is playing the same music at a concert a mile away. If this country wants to maintain its ridiculous drinking laws, they should keep it to the purchase and consumption of alcohol and not apply it to the purchase and consumption of live music.

Live music is one of the few aspects of culture that defies age, race, or gender, and it should stay that way. In a country where I can currently die in the name of freedom, I’m somehow not allowed to stand, sober and content, in the wake of an art form that is universally understood as being central to human existence. I have 2 years and 13 days until my 21st birthday. I’m getting a fake ID.