The Wake

I like to think I didn’t arrive at the University of Minnesota as a starry-eyed, giddy freshman. I took classes my entire senior year of high school at a college, so I knew relatively what to expect when I arrived on move-in day. I was even excited about Welcome Week, an introductory program instituted this year for incoming freshman such as myself. I thought it would be great to be on campus for a week without any classes and only my fellow freshman as neighbors. I wanted to keep an open mind. That is, until I saw the schedule of events.

The wheels on the bus…

As it turned out, the monstrous beast that was Welcome Week delighted in sinking it’s sharp, maroon-and-gold-colored teeth into my unsuspecting body and dragging me to all sorts of shenanigans. I was subjected to a cult-like schoolspirit bonanza - replete with cringe-worthy team building games - from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m., Thursday through Sunday. All activities were mandatory and attendance was taken at each one (I still made every effort to skip them). We were marched in tightly controlled high school-field-trip formation around campus to events that were potentially useful to someone from out-state Iowa but completely ridiculous to require of a Minneapolis native, such as bus trips to Uptown and the Mall of America. I didn’t even have time to fully unpack until Welcome Week was over. I felt like I was at summer camp and all I wanted to do was go back to my tent and take a nap.

My disappointment with the whole ordeal is compounded by my belief that the idea of Welcome Week actually has a lot of potential. Granted, this was the first year of the program, so I’ll offer some constructive advice to the organizers.

1. DO NOT make every event required. I have been to Uptown more times than I can count, and I hate it. Some of us don’t need your help to figure out the bus routes.

2. Don’t pack the schedule so tightly! The goal should be to help students adjust to their new surroundings, not to shove the whole city down their throat right away. Students need time to unwind, meet people on their own and explore the campus and city informally. Not to mention get their underwear unpacked.

3. Don’t treat the new arrivals like high-school students. The best way to foster independent thinking, a key component of the college experience, is to allow opportunity for it. By handholding new students the whole week and assuming we need to be supervised and tightly scheduled, you send the message that college won’t be that much different than high school.

4. Hold fewer sessions that focus on school spirit and more that provide practical information about the U. For example, nobody ever showed me how to access the LaundryView site or how to enter a different residence hall to eat at their restaurant, (I still need help on that one) but I certainly had my fill of flowery, self-congratulatory speeches.

My request of future Welcome Weeks is the same one I have of Barack Obama: More prose, less poetry.