Man rumored to be That Guy From Your Econ Class seen stumbling out of Walter
Disheveled man seen shamefully leaving library
By Lydia Christianson
SCANDAL: In the dark and early hours of Wednesday morning, That Guy From Your Econ Class was spotted sneaking out of Walter Library. His head was ducked as he tried to complete the walk of shame without revealing his identity, but his Patagonia vest narrowed it down to at least seven people in your class. It appeared he had been on a cramming bender since at least dinner time. Judging by the orange ring around his lips, it also appeared that all he ate for dinner was Cheetos. His glasses seemed to be bent from dozing off while skimming chapters. With his hair in a suggestive disarray and bags under his eyes that suggested a busy night he made his secretive trek to the campus connector.
In the not-so-flattering light of the connector his parched face showed the effect of a few too many espresso shots the night before. He tried to hide his face from fellow shameful crammers but did so with Econ homework that had his name written on the top. His mind seemed to still be stuck on his intimate night shared with his textbook.
When he showed up late to the exam Wednesday morning he was seen wearing the same outfit from the night before. Gray joggers and his signature Patagonia vest. A truly mesmerizing scent of red bull and beef jerky wafted from him. Traces of pen and highlighter could still be seen on his forehead. Incriminating evidence from his wild time the night before. No walk of shame is complete without some indication of what mischief they got into last night.