HELP! My boyfriend is turning into a dad

Signs that your boyfriend may be turning into a 50-year-old man. 

By: Sarah Hoff

As much as I love my boyfriend, I can’t help but notice the undeniable characteristics he has begun to adopt that resemble those of a middle-aged father. 

He…

-       falls asleep in under a minute

-       has the ability to sleep anywhere, anytime 

-       cracking “Dad jokes” has become a daily occurrence

-       now owns a bathrobe 

-       gives unsolicited life advice to anyone and everyone

-       confidently says “Don’t call maintenance, I can fix it!” 

-       manages to publicly embarrass me wherever we go 

-       owns a pair of strap-on sandals

-       is always wearing a hat

-       has the ability to quote movies word for word

-       “I’m not sleeping, I’m just resting my eyes.”

-       has a specific pair of shoes for wearing indoors

-       snores incredibly loud, yet refuses to admit that he snores at all 

-       says “Don’t let the bedbugs bite!” before saying goodnight 

-       has the ability to open any jar

-       makes a jingle for even the simplest of tasks

-       neglects to sort his laundry before putting it into the washer

-       *tells him to do something* *2 hours pass* *begins to do it myself* “I was just about to do that!”

-       has an obnoxiously unique sneeze

-       abstains from matching and folding his socks

-       insists that lighting a match after he farts is necessary

-       refuses to consider a meal a meal unless it contains meat 

-       knows the artist, album name, and release date of nearly every song produced since the 1970s

So ladies, if you, too, feel that your man is turning into a dad, you are not alone.