Don’t Just Seem Interesting, Be Interesting
Life is not a performance– the idea sets you free.
By Lennon Gray
The art of being interesting plagued me in my younger years. Do I have enough followers? Is my following-to-follower ratio good enough? Are cool people following me? Are my posts getting enough likes and comments? Do people think I’m cool? How do I come across? As embarrassing as it is to admit, I would set up hangouts at specific places to get a good picture for Instagram— to show I’m interesting and that other people think so too— so much so that they spend their free time with me. I spent so much time perfecting the public persona that I entirely forgot who I was on the inside and what set me free. I was working so hard to fit a mold that I deeply resented, and wanted to escape from. I didn’t benefit from being in this self-imposed box at all. I was plagued by social pressure and a deep desire to conform and be liked.
I think I suffered from a lack of self-love. Once I recognized that I have inherent value and can claim it for myself, I stopped doing things that weren’t for me— self-justified selfishness, if you will. I didn’t shirk my responsibilities, but I stopped playing the part. I removed 800 of my 1,000 followers and following on Instagram; I kept it to people I knew and people I spoke to— people I knew I would not have to perform for. Instagram would finally be for me and not for others.
I also developed the ability not to care whether people like me. With the law of large numbers on my side, I know that not everyone can like me, or at least, it’s statistically impossible. So, why try to perform and impress everybody with my utter interestingness? Why bother? It’s exhausting and superficial, anyway.
I started putting my energy towards things that energized me rather than what drained my energy. I started acting rather than running; writing rather than solving endless equations. Rather than appearing in the exact interesting way people wanted from me, I became what I found interesting.
Being genuinely interesting, I believe, has a few essential pillars. You are interesting when you invest in what interests you, not what interests others. Sure, there can be overlap and you can find commonalities with others, but liking something for yourself versus others are vastly different. I love acting, but I don’t love it for anybody else. Another pillar is being unapologetic about your love for something. Putting up a front and “loving” something just because others do will make you miserable and nothing more than a cookie-cutter cut-out of someone else’s personality. Love your interests unapologetically regardless of what people may say– if grown adults are criticizing your interests at this point, it’s embarrassing for them– not you. Lastly, another pillar is to take everything in your own time. You've already missed the point if becoming interesting is your only focus. You are interesting by being yourself! You develop more and more interests over time, and it’s best to let that happen organically. When it's forced, you can feel in– and so will everyone else. When it's genuine, the same thing follows– you’ll feel it, and people around you will feel it.
Also note that performance is not necessarily a bad thing, as long as it is for yourself. “Faking it ‘til you make it” comes to mind. Faking it until you make it for others makes you a shell of yourself, meanwhile faking it until you make it for yourself can be incredibly rewarding. Want to pursue a career in performance, but have stage fright? Pretend you’re a superstar and have no fear walking that stage until it no longer becomes scary. You’re performing for you; for what you find interesting.
Absorbing a trait or activity as a part of yourself to seem interesting rather than exhibiting your own organic brand of interest will drain you until there is nothing left. Life is not a performance or a stage, it is a time for you to grow and find what you love—to do anything less is a disservice to yourself. You exist for yourself, and not anybody else.