A Guide To Time Travelers - How To Survive The 90s

You are stranded in the 90s, what do you do?

By Gabriel Matias Castilho

That’s it. You lost a bet to your best friend and now you have to use your time machine to go back to the 90s and buy a Walkman from the closest store with some of the greatest hits from the time. You enter one, purchase it, then run toward the closest blind alley to activate your time machine back to the present. You reach for your pockets only to find that you had brought your TV’s remote controller instead of the time machine’s secondary activator. Now you are stranded in the 90s. What do you do?

First of all, give up the internet—you have all you need on the Walkman you just bought, throw out your cell phone. Listening to Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots and Red Hot Chilli Peppers is going to be your new hobby, but don’t be a poser! You actually enjoy them, right? Think of your Walkman as a way to take a break from the real world— where you came from, you explore the real world to take a break from the internet, two different things. Also don’t text people, ever. Call them.

Secondly, go watch some indie movies. The 90s were the time when renowned movie makers like Quentin Tarantino, Sofia Coppola and Wes Anderson started their careers. Get there before everyone else does! Go out with your new friends to watch them—and make sure to get their phone numbers. Social media did not exist at the time, so if you do not call them or discover where they live you will never hear from them again.

Third, “what’s the 411?” Celebrity culture and tabloids were starting to become da bomb, so get in that bus too and you will blend in just fine. Also make sure to learn some interesting slangs because they will make the difference in your daily life.

With those simple tips, you are set to start your new life in the 90s. Just try to avoid visiting your past self or your parents, because it would create some interesting time paradoxes that might prevent you from existing!